Friday no work day. But enough to do. I saw an old friend online a couple of days ago share a short story (she can really write), and tell that she’s been going to this easy access writing group/class on Friday afternoons. It’s in my neighbourhood and I’ve been thinking about going there in the past, but it sort of disappeared from my mind again. Will go there today and see what it is. And probably meet her as well. I like.
Spinning class was really nice last night. Tomorrow it’s back to work which is OK too. Today I’ll write. And cook. I’ll make it as good a day as I possibly can and hope the same for all of you. Sober and clean. Much love from my hood.
I feel pretty relaxed this morning. Everything is prepped for the hospital and my recovery at moms. She will pick up my stuff tomorrow and then I will do some serious cleaning before I leave the house for two weeks. But that is for tomorrow, today is for chilling and selfcare.
Yesterday at group we got to talk about identity and accepting yourself for who you are. That hit me really hard. I realized that for many years I let other people dominate my identity by restricting me, gaslighting or mocking me and questioning my choices. And somewhere along the way I just gave up and became a muted version of myself. Now that my mental and physical health are getting better I am finally rediscovering myself. And I like that person! But I still have a long way to go. Being sober is helping me a lot in this process. Have a clear head and not drowning my trauma in alcohol is the way to go to becoming my true self.
Stay safe and sober and be nice to each other. We are all in this together.
Just finished work and had dinner. All im looking forward to now is a good nights rest. My body is sore but my belly is full and i am sober. Life is good.
White night. Going to put off any decisions that require energy until tomorrow, cause I’ve got almost none left. But today there’s some progress: my brain’s racing at 100 mph instead of 200.
I’m going to take care of what I have to do this afternoon, and then I’ll use my relaxation techniques. I’m exhausted.
feeling really good today. I’m not particularly religious but I went for morning prayers this morning. The church building itself is over 800 years old and it’s STUNNING. I find just sitting there with the small group listening so peaceful. It’s a great way to start the day. Then went to Greggs for a strawberry matcha iced drink going into London tonight with a friend for a CA meeting which should be great. Both our first time going to this particular meeting so a little nervous! Hour drive there and back
AF 7728
I started the day watching goldfinches, maybe half a dozen both males and females, feeding off the dried dandelion heads in the yard. The birds alight on the tall flowers, maybe a foot or more off the ground, then shimmy up the stalk until the flower head is on the ground and there they pick off the seeds. Another benefit of my “back to meadow” laissez-faire approach to my property.
I was feeling great yesterday about an extended trail ride. Got to the trail head, and…. Where’s my shoes? I stopped at the bike shop in town, they do not sell or rent shoes (though he did offer to put flat pedals on for me, or to loan me his much bigger shoes). So I spent an hour driving home to collect my shoes and back. As a result, I was on the trail later than expected and this is my excuse for not hitting up that evening AA meeting yesterday. So I am planning my day around attending the noon AA meeting up the road, then having a nice long walk this afternoon. Not a complete rest day, but a reduced workout.
Awe ur post made me tear up a bit. Thank you!! Im grateful for u and others on here!
I never thought of it in this way:
This makes a lot of sense. And i appreciate this insight. Her “firing” me definitly hit something within me, and brought up rejection that I didnt even know existed in me to be honest. I did feel like there was something “wrong” with me initally, but hearing what u and others are saying helped me to see that i was actually doing the right thing by holding my ground and being true to myself. I need to be proud of myself that i actually was honest with myself and others, whereas in the past i would people-please or be dishonest about my feelings and thoughts.
I slept well last night and I’m headed to the gym in a bit. I’m excited for another day off. Today I’m going to do some therapy homework, work on my embroidery, and maybe watch a movie. It’s going to be a good day.
Last night as I was driving home mid-argument with my best friend the thought of drinking crossed my mind. The thought of numbing out felt so beguiling I almost went to the store and lost my sobriety. I’m grateful for that voice in my head that says '“i don’t do that anymore.” I hope everyone is having a peaceful one.
Good week at work but attempts to improve diet and exercise aren’t sticking just yet. Will try and get out for a short run tomorrow and take it one day at a time!
The phrase “No matter where you go, there you are” has always been something that has resonated with me, especially concerning addiction and anxiety. Bad dreams and stress are present even during times of relaxation. But dealing with them without wanting to use/drink is a huge benefit of being sober.
I’m grateful for Fujifilm Instax camera film, for green foliage, and for reclinable chairs
Been a good but busy day. My husband had what should be his last procedure at the hospital. I’ve managed to get some viola playing in and I got in from walking the dogs seconds before this rain storm hit. All in all very successful .
It’s good to be here sober and present. I wouldn’t have got this far without everyone here. Thank you all you really make a difference.
Checking in while on a short vacation with my sister to NYC. This is the first time in a few months that not drinking hasn’t felt like an automatic choice. I won’t drink! But I do miss it a little right now. Otherwise we’re having a great time!
I appreciate having all of you in my pocket, you make it easier.
Well done for checking in and admitting the temptation! Sometimes I find just doing that helps clear it from my mind. I’ve had more drunken nights in New York than I care to remember…actually I don’t remember how many, of course. Next time I go, I look forward to remembering it better.
going into London tonight with a friend for a CA meeting which should be great. Both our first time going to this particular meeting so a little nervous! Hour drive there and back
Im grateful for u and others on here!
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