Bam! Just like that! 60 days!
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Glad your with us Helena! 10 days!
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Boredom is an excuse i hear a lot. I have used it myself. We have to keep ourselves entertained. Its ironic because being a sloppy drunk with all the same old sloppy drunks in the same old bars is BORING!
Keep up the good work!
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Day 6. (I finally sat down and solidified thisā¦)
Iāve been devouring the book Iām currently reading. It has been such a welcome escape from reality. When things get tough, Iāve always been one to escape into pages. The best thing about them is that no one bitches and moans about how much time youāre spending reading. TV, videogames, and scrolling all come with guilt (at least for me) and folks are much more likely to vocalize their judgment when you spend weeks staring at screens. But booksā¦ you can run away into them privately, and with no griping. For anyone looking for a great read, The Glass Castle is an absolute masterpiece.
Yesterday, as I was pulling our laundry basket out of the corner of our closet, I remembered how many hours I spent as a kid hiding in dark corners of closets. I grew up in a very loud household. No siblings, just very unhappy parents with a flair for the dramatic. Lots of things got broken. Often, someone was screaming or crying or hollering about money or infidelity. I became very good at discovering hiding places where no one could find me. It was quiet. It was dark. And above all, it felt safe.
As a 34 year old woman (feeling very unsafe lately), I crawled into the corner of the closet I share with my husband, pulled my knees up to my chest, and fell asleep instantly. I dreamt of the house I grew up inā¦ a house I hadnāt thought about in ages. Remembering all the nooks and crannies and furniture layout and little quirks. I slept for about an hour, undisturbed in total silence.
Today, I will continue reading, take a long hot shower, and do my GAship hours for the day. One more week of work before summer break. Then, heading to LA for 3 days for my best friendās Bachelorette Party weekend. Iām the designated DD, so I feel good about staying sober. 
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591
Went for a walk before dinner. For some reason even slow paced walks make me exhausted afterwards. Maybe a sign of fresh air poisoning. 
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Day 361 AF almost a 1 year . Its so close i can taste it
We are getting sushi sat as my FiancƩs old friend is flying into town Monday so i got trumped ( no pun intended lol ) I will make vegan pork belly ( i get it from a vegetarian/vegan store and its to die for ) i marinade it in smoke, Worcestershire sauce, Chinese five spice and ginger on bed of wilted arugula with tons of garlic lemon and Nutritional yeast , side of crunchy garlic bread. And a nice dessert. Its my 1 year but i will do the cooking so they can relax and spend time together. would i do all this as a drinker last year no way !!!
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Day 1544
Just got home from the gym and the grocery store. Having a decent day so far. I have to meet up with my sponsor at 1pm to go over my step 8. I had sort of a big awakening while doing it. For those that dont knowā¦ step 8 is about making a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Now as some of u know, i used to be a sex worker (over 12 years ago). I actually wrote down the men i used to see as having harmed them. I have held onto some resentments and of course blamed them for what they did to me. But what i wasnt seeing was MY part in it all. I was just as āsickā as they were. I was using them for validation, money, drugs. I never saw them as human beings. It doesnt make what they did okay, but i was able to see how I placed myself in a position to be hurt (if that makes sense). Quite an eye opening experience for me. Anyway, Im nervous about Step 9 but will pray for the willingness (and I dont expect that I will have to make amends to those men directly as I wouldnt even be able to locate them anyway). Then afterwards, ill just do some cleaning of the apartment and wait for my son to get home. Hope everyone is having a good day!
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Day 77.
Unlike @Madds I am not stopping caffeine 
but alcohol is still not on my mind. My wife is away for a few days and there has always been a temptation to drink when that happens. Cool thing this time is that there is no way Iād do that. Feeling solid in sobriety and grateful for that because work is a giant stressful mess. One day Iāll do something about that.
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Hi Dana,
I can say that my sponsor specifically informed his sponsees to omit their āacting outā partners from their 8th and 9th step. Firstly, itās a slippery slope reaching out to people who we had such a sordid past with. Secondly, they had agency in the interaction and they have their own inventory to do. If it were something you were involved in that didnāt involve consent or agency then it would be a different story.
It definitely sounds like youāve arrived at that conclusion already but I just wanted to give you the assurance that youāre making the right call.
Itās been cool watching you go through the steps again. Youāve definitely been on a thorough and searching inventory.
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Hi everyone,
Day 200 AF. Day 160 TF. Day 27 THCF.
Hanging in there. Mental health isnāt thriving, though. We are still recovering from our basement flooding 3ish weeks ago because insurance claim stuff is slowing us down. We also had a plumber come in and fix some stuff, which cost us a good amount, and now their repair work is leaking. Iām sure they will guarantee their work, but itās one more thing to deal with. World events and the callousness of people are causing a great deal of stress for me, and I am just. so. exhausted from the constant grind of professional life. We are fortunate to have relatively good financial security, but it is starting to feel like the bottom could fall out of that at any moment.
I could go on and on venting, but it would never stop and what would it accomplish? Nothing.
Anyway, thanks for being here for each other and for me. The culture in TS is one of the best examples I find of people being truly decent and kind to one another.
One day at a time. Have a great rest of your day, everyone.
Eeyore out.
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Checking in
I had a blah day at work. We had to kick out 8 drunken customers (I work at a golf course), they had been drinking heavily all along, causing trouble with other players. Once they were told to leave, 2 came to reception to ask for a refund. My boss had already left, and I told them to file a complaint, that I couldnāt refund them (thatās somehow a lie, I can approve refunds, but didnāt think it was appropriate given the circumstances). One of them got really aggressive, not a pleasant situation. First time I felt scared at the front office desk!
After work I did my workout to get rid of the stress and tension!! Grateful for that! It has been raining all dayā¦ 
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Youāre doing so amazing, you really are my love 
Iām so proud for you , itās been a real eye opener for me reading your story and seeing how it all works .
I think your doing incredible and leading the way for us all to show up for ourselves no matter what 
Wishing you all the strength I can muster xx
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Great to see you getting stuck straight back in
One day at a time
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Day 20 sober and clean 
evening check in ā¦ today has been a good day !
I faced a fear and apologised to my mum and acknowledge how I let her down in her time of need years ago when I had my first major addiction episode. It felt good to get it off my chest and also to clear that up so to my lovely mum
Then I booked my hair appointment which will be a treat for when I hit 1 month sober .
And then I have been playing on the Xbox finishing a game that I left behind and never completed 
itās been a nice distraction for the evening
Tomorrow i hit 3 weeks and thatās just such an achievement for me 
Happy Thursday sober fam
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Thanks a lot, dude.
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Thank u!!! And i do agree absolutely with what u said for sure. I dont want to cause further harm for anyone (including myself). I do realize tho that some of the resentments ive had towards people, have sort of bled into my lfie today. For example: resentments towards people that did me harm, now has effected my relationships with others in my life. Its crazy to see my life sort of for what it is. I have pushed stuff down inside for soooo long and i feel like things are being brought up now that need to be dealt with 
I always love ur insight by the way and i very much appreciate it 
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Itās passed fairly quickly now that I think about it. It felt like it dragged sometimes, though. 
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Awe friend, thank u so much!! I really appreciate ur kind words 
I have just read ur most recent post aswell. I see u made an amend to ur mom!!! Wow!!! Way to go on being so courageous. I hope that by doing the amends, ur relationship can become stronger with her. Proud of u for this AND ur 20 days sober!!!
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Some nice big round numbers there 200, 160..
I hope the insurance comes through soon.
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Almost at 3 weeks! You are doing so incredibly well! Iām so so pleased for you. It feels like you have been going from strength to strength.
Making amends with your mum is a really brave thing to do. You are really setting a good example
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