Oh damn Lisa that’s a lot. Hugs to you. Glad you’re hubby is being supportive 
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Enjoy the thrift shop! Made me think of the Macklemore Thriftshop song 
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Never heared of it 
Google here I come…
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And there it is:
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People love it or hate it, it seems. I was a fan right away lol. Something about the song I liked. He’s actually an addict, in recovery still I believe, but not sure
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I like it!! 
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DAY 90! Hooray, I did it! Well I can’t say “I” did it. Couldn’t have done it without my peeps support here. I’m so thankful for that. My goal was 90 days. I suppose I’ll keep plugging away at those numbers 
Happy Friday! Have a little event to attend at my 4 year old’s school. I can’t wait to see. Might even go out to lunch if hubby is able to show up for the event. If not, I’ll go solo 
I have a coupon! 
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Super!! Have fun at the event (try not to cry
I did so at almost every event when one of mine stood on stage)
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Haha my coworker said about his Christmas concert, “bring tissues”. I said who the heck cries at a preschool concert??? Well turns out she was right 
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Everything everyone else says about your 90 days I’m going to second and third it, saves me a shit load of typing and it will all be true and deserved, I now hope no one posts anything horrible about you .
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thank you! And thanks for the laugh 
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Thanks 
It’s so easy, while having a flatline 
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164.5
Went to bed in full on panic attack. I have one client that at this point just makes me rage and wonder if I even like what I do. He’s a little cocky, inexperienced, disrespectful asshole and I’ll be done with him on the 16th. 1.5 years of working with him. I was obviously newer and didn’t set boundaries early on, so technically I taught him how to treat me. I should have ignored his text last night and addressed it in the morning, but I have a lot to do today and will mostly be on the road. He told me to do something, so I did it, then two minutes later he said not to 
Seriously, fuck, fuck, fuck this guy. So I said “sounds good” knowing that I already did it. Now I’m a liar, and that’s what caused the anxiety attack. I can’t wait to be done with this little shit.
Anyway, someone posted in another thread that relapse starts way before we ever pick up the first drink. I 100% see that, and glad I do. I know I want sobriety, so I need to work harder. Dating triggers me due to shyness, but on the other side of that I’m feeling very lonely. I made the mistake of going back to a dating app for like 12 hours and I’m supposed to have a date next Wednesday. However, I was very impressed that he suggested a coffee date 
Let’s see if I ghost now
As of this moment, I feel a little better. The amount of despair I was feeling last night was scary. If I google one more time “how to die naturally” I’m going to lose my mind. I don’t feel like living anymore. I haven’t wanted to live for a long time now. My life is just a struggle and a shit show, I’m convinced I’m a total loser, but I would never have the actual ball sack to mill myself.
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Hey-up Salty. Well done lass!
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firstly I’m sending you sooo much puppy love it’s untrue, secondly milling yourself would be a real grind there must be quicker ways to go, saves on a cremation though.
I would like to say on a serious note you have so much pain in your mind that I’m so proud of your sober days, to live with these thoughts and feelings and still have the strength to keep going forward shows me something special is inside of you. I wish I could give you a bottle of my spiritual juice and sort you out. If you haven’t already try and read some eckhart Tolle, it’s all about the now and how to deal with it, it’s not for everyone but AA was never for me until I tried it so an open mind and heart might help us in our life journey. Notice I don’t say sober journey, when all that haze has gone life is what we have to learn next. Did you know that today is national employee appreciation day but, forget get, appreciate yourself.
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Me too! This work of charting our patterns in life, learning where our attitudes and thoughts and feelings flow, and putting those in concrete, written form - I am starting to understand that more now. I didn’t understand it before; it’s like I repeated the phrase “I’ve got to get my life together”, but didn’t truly see the currents that were pushing me into the problematic places that derailed my plans. I’m becoming more aware of them now. Gradually - gradually - but I’m starting to see more clearly.
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I am sad to hear u feel like that. From ur posts here u sound intelligent, sensitive and kind, not a loser at all. Life seriously seems to be giving u lemons at the moment, in particular that client seems like a douche, glad he will be gone. Are there other stresses u can get rid of? I know it is hard when it feels like everything is shit, but there are non-shit things if u look hard enough.
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Was the grind bit an intentional pun? Extra points if so, hope @Girlinterrupted is in a place to see the funny side.
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Thank you so much I’m going to try that, I’ll literally try anything at this point. Sending you strength fir today as well.
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Good gracious now I understand about the woman in the attic. That’s terrifying. 
Those castles in Europe though; that’s one thing on my bucket list. No castles - or cathedrals - like the European ones here 
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