So a year ago I was using daily. Now the longest I’ve been was 2 weeks. I’ve just done 1 week and FAILED my brain is like sod it ur having 1. Not only did I have one but also bought another. So so sooooo mad at myself. Why can’t I go past a week and if I go more and don’t have any I get depressed then I already am. My head is so mashed up.
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You’re an addict like we all are here. The addicted part of our brain will think of any reason to use. Every one of those reasons are lies. When you get depressed using is not the solution. In the long run using will make your depression ever worse. Been there done that.
What we need is a plan. We need an alternative to using. You’re here, that’s a good start. You might need a program like NA or CA, or any other type of program like SMART or Dharma Recovery or something else. You need to invest in being sober, learn about sobriety and addiction. You have to realize we’re int his together. Alone it’s too much. Together we can do this but we need to do the work. All success to you Prinny.
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Don’t let a relapse stop you from being sober, and don’t let it spiral out of control. You came here to talk about this, and that’s a great step in the right direction.
With regards to being depressed without it - I often listen to health podcasts, watch videos and read books around addiction. I remember Jordan Peterson saying that we need something BIGGER in our lives, something better than our drug of choice. We need reasons to stay clean, have purpose in life. Have a desire to better ourselves, in whatever form that takes. Whether that’s going back to studies / get a new job, maybe our goal is to become healthier, fitter etc.
If you feel like life is colourless without your drug of choice, then I think you need to do some life mapping. You’re in danger of repeated relapses, and it is a motivation killer. Your drug of choice can’t be the only thing that picks you up, you need something better than that in your life. Spend some time considering what would make you happy, what changes should you make, and how will you go about them.
Sending you a big hug. Forgive yourself , and refocus 
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Thank you 
you r right I will take note xxx
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Thank you currently January just gone I told everyone I stopped. I thought it was easier said than done. No one knows so unfortunately I’m trying to do this alone because no one can do this for me. I need to figure out ways to cope but I’ve been to scared of going to the doctors
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I would help them. I would do anything they needed. X
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You’re here with us all. You’re not alone. We’re in this together
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Binx hope your well xx
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I made the weekend 2 weeks 1 day the cravings r worse and I feel like I’m going to relapse please I don’t want to but my brain won’t stop
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It’s your brain playing tricks on you. You’re in control, although the only control you have is to not give in. Did you try a meeting yet? Maybe an online one? Especially for cocaine, for women only, for believers, for unbelievers, there’s all sorts. Maybe have a look here:
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You are n good path already. You’ve been doing so great so far. You’ve already gotten some good advice - a meeting is always great, because there is people who know what you are going through. Other than that, find a healthier form of rewarding yourself (bath, the movies, calling a friend, favourite music). You can also try to learn more about addiction and why this is happening to you, that really helped me over ineltense cravings. And last but not least - I kept telling me: one day/ hour at a time. You got this 
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Thank you. No not yet I would prefer online meeting though. Is it free at all? Thank you
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Totally free! Have a look around plz. It can be such a big help friend. X
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