Well I’ve made it to day four. Low key it’s been a real struggle. I feel like my anxiety has gotten so much worse now that I’m working on being sober. For some reason I always feel this shadow on my shoulder making me feel like I’m drowning almost. It doesn’t help that some social media will mention something to do with my addiction and it makes me almost panic. Makes me wanna go off the grid and live in the middle of no where. Just to disappear into nothing. I’m always worried with me getting rid of this addiction what if I gain a new one. Right now I just feel so overwhelmed and find myself struggling to cope. Doesn’t help I haven’t told my partner of my struggle or me getting sober. I know if I tell her it would hurt her and hurt our relationship. If anyone has advice on that I’d love to know.
Keep fighting. My only advice would be to focus on the present. Dont future trip or outplay the past. Whats one thing you can do for your recovery everyday?
Hi Isaiah,
Good for you sticking through, and I hope you know you are in a place here where people get it. I dont know you or your story, but theres a thread here that connects us all.
I do not want to give advice for someone I dont know (and I do not know also things you have already done or are doing) but if you feel comfortable speaking to your doctor about youd anxiety it may not be a bad idea. For everyone it is different, anxiety may be due to the addiction and will go with time, for some anxiety is something there already and the addixtion is used to medicate. Regardless, if you feel you could trust your doctor to speak to them, they may have some resources for you as well.
I do not know what you are trying for your recovery, but there are some different things out there (and this may add to the overwhelm) but if you feel comfortable try to check in on here each day. People on here and threads have a lot of good resources about different programs (some people just use the app, some AA, i think there is something called SMART recovery which is an app…others know more about this!). Lota of good people, who know whats its like to be 4 days in - overwhelmed, anxious and feeling fuxked up, who have step by step made it further in sobriety. I honestly find this place such a safe little check in spot for me, and I can come and vent or chat or respond to others, and I try to write a little somethinf at least everyday just to check in. This is just what I do, and everyone has their own little “tool belt” (thinfs they use and do to be sober). Just…deep breath…one little baby ass step at a time.
One thing i found VERY helpful inbthe early days was writinf out my triggers (anything where you reach for your DOC). It helped me to know which things to avoid, and the things I couldnt when to come on here or to have extra supports.
I know you feel you do not want to discuss this with your partner, and perhaps this is something you can revisit when you feel more steady. Our partners are our greatest supports, and I think we are strongest whsn we are able to be ourselves and in being ourselves we give that person the opportunity to truly know us and be there and accept all of us.
Wish to see you around. Xo.
Hi I’d love to share my story with someone other than a stray cat. I could maybe email to make things better. I have found a handful of people here so far who are so sweet and kind. They’ve given me a couple of tips to help me through the first week of recover. I will make sure to check out other apps as well
That’s really good advice I think I’ll take with me. I just I feel like everyday is a constant battle of reminding myself everything okay and to relax and breathe. To slow down and relax