I can relate to just about everything you said here, I have a few herniated disks and arthritis and degenerative disk disease.
I am also going to the gym every day with a PICC line in my arm for an infection, so I, like you, have been having “issues” getting in the way of my training
hang in there, you aren’t alone, at least you know that, for what it’s worth
IDK what it is. Honestly I tie it all to my perpetual anxiety/high stress from the chronic pain but also just my general predisposition to anxiety. My sleep wasn’t awesome before surgery, but every so often I’d feel good in the AM. Nothing like now where it’s shit every morning. I wrote about it before, but it’s that whole thing where your nervous system is constantly in fight-or-flight so you don’t really sleep properly.
I get the nausea, fatigue, aches, and I’ve noticed my normal breathing is very shallow unless I intentionally take deeper breaths. Back when I could run, my breathing was fine. I figure this is a combo of no longer running (or any intense cardio), anxiety, and also surgical factors because the fusion was essentially right behind my diaphragm/lungs. Post-surgery they gave me some thing I breathe into to promote lung strength, but I didn’t really stick to using it - nobody explained to me WHY I had to, so I didn’t…that’s ADHD. Not a conscious decision like “I’m not going to use this thing”, but more subconscious “I’ll be fine, they didn’t stress this as critical or explain the why”.
Same thing with my pre-surgery attempts at treating my back…nobody explained to me what “engage your core” means or how to do it properly. Or “bend at your knees”. It seems self-explanatory in retrospect but I never learned those things until I figured out how to do it on my own, by accident. I think people would see this in-shape guy and assume I knew fully what I was doing. I did not.
It’s something I’ve learned about my brain, and my ADHD. I need to know the “why”, otherwise I have a tendency to discard something as unimportant.
But yeah, I think the shitty breathing contributes to the tiredness/nausea as well.
I also meant to say, one thing that HAS helped, and I think we may have spoken about it before? Is my shakti mat. Just an accupressure mat.
It’s temporary relief, and it hurts like a son-of-a-bitch when you’re not used to it, but it draws blood to the area and loosens up everything really well. Make stretching more effective after. Expensive for what it is, but worth it. Wish I had found it prior to surgery.
Have you thought about giving biking a go? It’s not lifting but the endorphins are there. I got my bike a little over a month ago and I have very minimal pain when biking/after. I haven’t lifted in like 2 weeks cause I was saving my legs for my trail race this past weekend. I did a lift workout this morning and 
my back isn’t happy at the moment. Mind you I only got up to 55lbs for my squats and just used the 35lb bar for other things so it’s not like I’m even lifting heavy 
Like always I feel you and you aren’t alone (not that it helps ) I hope your vent helped, at least a little 
I haven’t tried it. It didn’t agree with me pre-surgery, so hesitant to try it post-surgery.
I think that’s part of all this, I no longer have the ability to go physically exhaust myself. I miss that. I used to love heavy manual labor and all that shit.
All this really sucks. I have read your story over the last 5 years, and know that you have tried all sorts of things, and I hear how just damn tired you are of all of it. I hope at least sharing helps emotionally, especially as some people here also have chronic pain too.
I totally get this and wish there was a way to get past it to get that good nights rest. We know how important sleep is and its frustrating when our bodies / minds keep us from getting it.
This irks me to no end. I am sorry that the importance of this was not stressed to you. This should be standard after care practice. Even will all the knowledge, we tend to forget it all when we are recovering from a surgery. If we don’t sense a value add and like you said if you have ADHD then of course this added step to your daily routine took a backseat. Do you still have the apparatus or are you able to get it now? Do you think it could help you now? I know its been years since the surgery but possibly this or something similar could help and that in turn will help with the some of your other symptoms 
Very sorry friend. This is absolutely infuriating! Your physique and way of life does not give them a right to assume you know after surgery care. I see this sort of thing happening a lot where the after care paperwork is not clear or even at times is not explained to the patient.
Oh thank you for the review of the shakti mat. I think you may have mentioned it but I had forgotten. I think my sis has something like this but I have not used. Looking online I see it can vary from $24 to $99 for the mat. Do you have a certain brand name that you can share or certain specs to look out for?
I am glad hear that you have something that can cause some temporary relief. Why does everything that helps cause SO MUCH pain.
Sending you loads of strength and love.
I had therapy this afternoon and talked a lot about the sleep stuff. She gave me some things to try.
We also agreed that when I am in the gym, maybe it’s time to fuck off with going at 5am right when the gym opens, which requires that I get up at 330. I’ve been going early morning as long as I can remember, and while it’s never been “enjoyable” getting up at 3:30, it was never super difficult until recently. For the past several months it’s been an absolute bastard. I’m thinking about changing it. I’d rather not. But I’m thinking about it.
The brand I got is the actual Shakti brand name, so it’s on the more expensive end of the spectrum. I got a bundle deal with the wedge pillow thing, but I sent that back because I didn’t find much value in it.
Oh thanks for the info…just ordered and skipped the pillow.
Not sure if your work schedule allows for the flexibility but maybe try changing up the time to see how it feels. Your body may react differently too. I used to love working out early mornings but now find late morning to early afternoon is where I’m at my most able and best. There are days I still can do an early morning…just depends on factors as I’m sure you are well aware of.
I know change isn’t great when you have a set routine. Hope that when you are ready to try something different that it’s a smooth transition and does work for your benefit.
I’m not sure if any of our chats have been helpful for you (I hope they have) but wanted you to know that today was a rough day for me and the chats really helped so thank you 
.