I am sorry you are feeling so down and fragile, that is a rough spot to be in.
I do know the feeling of how hard it is to get sober around someone who is still drinking or using. I get that. My husband still drinks.
I spent a long long time blaming him and his drinking on me not being able to string some days together. Then, someone on here suggested my drinking was 100% my responsibility, it didn’t depend on what others around me were doing or what stress was in my life. Drinking or not was a choice I made. And you know, after I got done being pissed off at that person for not understanding my situation, I had a big aha moment and realized that yes, my drinking is something I alone am responsible for and my choice. Wow, that was a game changer for me.
There are some really interesting threads on living with someone who drinks/uses, maybe you will find some strength or help in them, I hope so.
I know these days we are fragile and our feelings are edgy and uncomfortable. Please know we can get thru this stage and come out stronger.
People are here to help support eachother. I know sometimes a response may feel unhelpful or put us on edge, I get that. But do know people mean well and are offering up their experience to see if it resonates with you. As always, not everything sticks right off, but sometimes we double back later and can see things with more understanding or clarity.
Here is the link to some threads you may find useful.
Does your partner still drink? Some threads you may find helpful
I hope you are feeling a little more solid. I can only imagine the stress with a 2 year old. Our 5 year old grandson is staying with us and I am definitely needing to find time for myself. I hope you have that chance. 