If you really feel an urge to remove posts, please do so. That’s why you are mods.
If you feel an urge to message me about the why, feel free to do so. But stop being agitated when I say I disagree. Of course, the rules are not open for debate, but don’t mesasage someone if you know that person will disagree.
That’s just begging for me to confirm the vallidity of your choices which you know, I do not always agree with.
And finally, it’s kind of sad if you feel an urge to give a final response to it and then quickly close it - that’s really just a sad reaction an insecure kid would give.
Now back to the world of Sound of Music where no one ever disagrees with each other and where those who refuse to be a good von Trapp, will probably get silenced again
There are cases where a back and forth gets started among members. In those cases, particularly on a shared thread, members may be asked to please drop it or discuss their differences privately to both keep it civil and the conversation on track.
We generally send moderator requests privately both to keep things on track, and out of respect for our members.
It would be unkind of us to air other people’s differences publicly. It is their business how they choose to respond to requests regarding guidelines. We’re asked only to apply them and try to be sure the reasons are understood without making a scene of it.
We will certainly continue to handle these things privately with those involved, but appreciate the feedback otherwise.
As you’ve shared it publicly, I’ll say your PM was closed because it wasn’t a matter for debate. You were sent a polite request. We otherwise just want to keep things civil and moving along as we’re asked.
Rephrase again : you thínk you miss the drama that isn’t yours.
And you’re right, it’s frustrating to jump in ready with the popcorn just a minute too late
Eke, as said above feel free to close and remove whatever you like. And that of course goes for all mods. That’s what you’re supposed to do and I’m perfectly fine with that.
As for sending me an explanation : why ? I don’t ask for it do I ? Yet I get sent one. I respond to it, the sender gets annoyed because I don’t say he’s right, two replies later all is over and quiet again.
Menno didn’t respond anymore and neither did I. As always, two old dogs bark a few times at each other and then go their own ways again. No more, no less.
Yet 5 friggin hours later (yes indeed, five whole hours later…) yóu jump in with a useless reply, then quickly close the topic
Of course, once again : please, let them feel free to remove and delete whatever they see fit
But they shouldn’t be surprised if I consider it a laughing joke that 4 grumpy messages between me and Menno are called “a debate” that silences after just those four messges, untill another mod jumps in hours and hours later with a useless comment and then quickly closes it…
"Attacks of any kind, direct or indirect, will not be tolerated. If you believe a post to be genuinely troubling or in violation of these guidelines, please contact a member of the moderator team. Refrain from responding to the member in public discussion with additional hostility.
Posts that break these guidelines will be addressed by the moderator team. Moderators reserve the right to edit or delete content, and/or close topics. Repeated offenses will lead to official warnings and account suspension."
To add to that… Although that is usually only on threads where flags are flying. It is rare that moderators take action without any flags or PMs being sent to us.
To expound on your question Mel, we may move things completely off the forum (vs to derailment void) when they are direct attacks, name calling, antisemitic, pornographic, promoting violence/abuse, etc and serve no purpose to the community.
I appreciate what you guys on the mod team do and I know it takes a sober perspective to keep things on the rails. There’s a lot of variety and a lot of voices coming from different emotions and different experiences here. I’m grateful for your service here, thx guys
Glad to offer clarity when I can. Just moving a fight from one thread to another generally just perpetuates the argument and strife and that causes disruptions on the forum. First and foremost, we are all here for sobriety. And our goal is to foster community support around sobriety and recovery.
As the others have said, things do get “disappeared.”
I actually can’t recall it ever being done without someone being notified though. Other than, as some may have experienced, their comment being swept up in a bigger thread clean up.
Not all disruptions are negative. In a topic where someone shared about a hate-related shooting, emotions tend to rise and need an outlet.
And yes, sometimes that may include words of anger. Or any other human emotion.
To which others may respond in another human way.
Personally I think it’s sad this gets removed to the graveyard immediately with a statement “it’s not beneficial to anyone’s recovery”. I disagree to that. I hope my “conversation partner” has been able there to let out some anger. And that others realise that even in sobriety, we are still humans interacting on emotions sometimes. We are not superhumans who never have conflicts.
But again - that’s up to you boys and girls in the mod team.
Nevertheless try to nót indulge the urge to pm me oneliners hours and hours after all is back to normal for hours, just to quickly close the private pm thread after you did so.
For let’s face it, if you do so in a private thread, you could and should have known I continue it here
