Today is 1 week sobriety from emotionally being hijacked, and 1 day sobriety from seeking others’ approval and validation. I had a great time at the celebrate recovery meeting today. I truly feel connected to other broken individuals, all sharing out hurts, habits, and hangups.
I choose to celebrate my recovery one day at a time because I take full ownership and responsibility for myself. I choose not to rely on my wife for my sense of worth, validation, approval, or respect.
God loves me, approves of me, validates me, accepts me, justifies me, forgives me, cleanses me of my past mistakes, and purifies me. I know God will never reject me, abandon me, disrespect me, discard me, nor love me based on how I perform. God will never roll his eyes, nor shake his head, nor scream in anger. He is loving and kind. God will never criticize me, judge me, condemn me, denigrate me, nor hate me when I make a slightest mistake. God will help me change because of His unconditional love and acceptance. I love you Jesus.
I am so excited about what other character flaws He will encourage me to change, and help me to discover about myself to be totally transformed. Week 2 has started! Here we go!
@Upperoom I think you are so brave. I am definitely going to do that same draw. Codependency hurts. All across the board. It is an over adaptive behaviour. Withdrawal is just as intense when being emotionally hijacked. Don’t give up! Keep going!
Glad I came across this thread. My codependency certainly fed into my addiction- using my DOC to cope instead of stopping the habits that fed into my unhappiness. Congratulations to the progress you’ve made!
My mistake was looking at my DOC as the problem, when all along, the deep fundamental problem was my codependency, loneliness, fear, anxiety, worry, childhood hurts and hangups, abandonment, and traumas. I was never taught how to process them as my parents certainly did not know. It was only after facing my pain, and wondering where they were coming from, that it motivated me to learn more about how to process my pain, and begin my healing process through sharing. Welcome to this journey of recovery. I am grateful to be walking with you.
My counselor at IOP gave me a copy of The Language or Letting Go - Daily Meditations on Codependecy. I’ve read the daily entries for the last couple of weeks right before/after doing my daily gratitude journal entry.
I am sort of in a self imposed IOP as well. I attend celebrate recovery (2 hrs) twice a week, and a step study (2 hrs) twice a week as well. Then the remaining day is spent with another group of guys from my church. It’s intense, but it’s so hopeful to know that as long as I persevere, I will recover and be whole again. I look forward to it!
I just got Melony Beattie’s codependy no more, and it’s workbook. Now, I just have to find 2 more hours in a week to work on these!
