Do you guys think that dropping EVERYTHING completely is better for early stage sobriety, or is it better to work you way up to it? My end goal is to eventually be completely sober to the point where i dont even have a holiday drink, but im struggling currently. Uselessly I go āCalifornia Soberā which is basically just no hard stuff, but sometimes it can lead me back down the wrong path. For the last week I was stone cold sober and I, (mentally), felt GREAT, way better than when im using in āmoderationā but then I splurged this weekend! I can tell this isnt going to be a relapse āeraā so much as a bad day but im still so torn up about it. Iāve failed both methods now, I cant tell which one works better! Any thoughts?
4 Likes
Im on my 11th reset of the month this is kind of humiliating lol. I feel so weak. Also I wish I could talk to my loved ones about this I think itd be easier, even though I appreciate these recovery communities.
In my experience, i cannot drink in control, When I start with one drink it ends up with a blackout. I tried myself to control my drinking but I fail in all attempts.
Now Iām taking one day at a time. After many resets today Iām on day 12 without drink and cigerates.
This forum is great place to stay sober. Stick with here and read otherās sharing
4 Likes
You may find this thread helpful, @Newmeeveryday:
Also, there are tons of other related threads, just use the 
button on the top right of the screen to search for ācold turkeyā or indeed anything else you are interested in.
1 Like
I donāt really think thereās a one size fits all when it comes to this. All I can say is donāt give up. Just keep trying, no matter how many times you fail. Immerse yourself in all things recovery and eventually something will stick. Youāll get there if you want it bad enough 
3 Likes
I personally found that quitting everything at once was āeasierā then trying to ācontrolā my use. When ive tried moderation in the past or when ive tried to control it in some way or another, it never worked. I always ended up using and drinking and not being able to stop at one. It destroyed my life. By quitting everything, i no longer had to have it on my mind (in the sense of worrying about how im going to ācontrolā it). I was free. Of course quitting everything is hard to do but once i jumped into recovery with both feet (instead of one foot in recovery and one foot in the problem), it became easier over time 
im proud of u for posting and seeing help! Thats a huge step in the right direction.
Try not to let this bring u down. Sometimes it takes trial and error to figure out what works and what doesnt. Just keep getting back up each day and try again. Take it one day at a time, one minute at a time, or one breath at a time.
2 Likes
Moderation never worked for me.
Are you trying to do it solo? I found having healthy accountability with other people in recovery made a difference for me. Thereās a list of recovery groups here: Resources for our recovery
Donāt give up. You will find what you need.
Heya, good morning!
So Iāve tried moderation in regards to drinking a few times over the past years and Iāve found out quickly that itās not going to work on me because of my drinking habits and also the people I associate with. I donāt know how your drinking affects you, but for me itās very hard to stop whenever I have my first drink. Every time Iāve tried, it basically went like one drink today, the next day was stressful so Iāll have two, the day after is a Friday so Iāll have four and so on. I basically made up excuses to drink more, also Iāve lied to myself and said things like āoh, I had five beers today, better not drink tomorrowā and have, like, eight beers the next day because some bs happened or I was sad or my boss was a dick or something.
Iām currently on week one of quitting cold turkey and I have to say it is hard, but worth it. Iām starting to feel better and the withdrawal symptoms are getting better.
One thing you have to remember, depending on how much you drink and for how long, is to inform yourself about the risks of quitting cold turkey and to inform your doctor about it so you can work towards this goal in the safest way possible. I also found that it is important to inform your boss about what you are going through, I for myself took today off because I really donāt feel well and know it would affect my performance at work significantly today.
All in all, stay safe and take care. Quitting cold turkey can be dangerous and lead to many health risks.
I wish you all the best on your journey, please keep us updated! 
2 Likes
I think youāre better off just getting rid of it completely.
By still telling yourself your can have one here and there you have the mind set that it is a treat, or something good to look forward to. (It really isnāt, itās poisonous sh*t that will destroy your liver and your life).
By letting the mindset that itās a treat you are just torturing yourself, because youāll crave it and youāll have to deal with the cravings and all the head games that the addictive voice plays.
Just kick it completely itās a way better option. No head games, no bartering with yourself if itās ok to have a drink and no danger of slipping down the slippery slope.
As far as I can tell for this forum there is a 100% failure rate (sometimes taking months, but always going the same way) of attempted moderation.
1 Like
Put the bat down and stop fighting with your addiction ā¦addict s cannot moderate
You answered your question right here.