I am coming back from a slip last night. I keep following the same pattern of drinking every 17-24 days. Whenever I experience uncomfortable emotions or feelings, I drink. Learning to sit with my feelings is the hardest thing for me to learn. Because, as I’ve learned, this too shall pass. I’m strong & I’m never giving up. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I’m committed to overcoming my addiction. Glad to be here with you all.
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Welcome back @Jlgreen81. Relapse is a problem and - like addiction - it’s a signal that changes are needed 
Are you sitting alone with your feelings? What can you do to find people who can help you find your way through them?
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I am learning to reach out to sober friends when I feel the urge to drink. When I do it helps tremendously.
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@Jlgreen81 I always wonder, and I say also for myself, the sober days. this is what gives me hope. I see this journey has hope but it’s not quick
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Welcome aboard @Jlgreen81 
If you know your pattern perhaps this time you could prepare in advance for it, make sure all alcohol is disposed of, stock up on good, nutritional food, have a friend you can call, Journal… etc.
Don’t forget we are in your pocket too so you’re not alone 
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I think this is something many, if not all of us can truly relate to.
The desire to escape and not experience our painful feelings has led us to addiction.
I saw a video awhile back of someone talking about how as a society it’s something we all do by distracting ourselves with substances, devices, screens, sports, shopping, sex, eating etc.
He went on to say that it’s important to just sit in the silence with ourselves until all of those pent up unaddressed feelings run out of steam.
And that’s exactly what I envision whenever I’m uncomfortable in my feelings. I think of them as running out of steam, rather than picking up a drink to suppress them. 
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