hi there my friends. i’m all over this platform rn bc i just realized i struggle with PMO addiction, and i honestly need some guidance.
i’m also a drug addict, sober my first full day, in a couple years, but this realization hurts me worse than realizing i’m addicted to any drug that’s put in front of me.
i disgust myself, and have for over a decade now. i started really watching porn when i was about 10 or 11, and i’m 22 now. half my life spent rotting my mind, kinda hard to think about.
to keep myself accountable i wanna share with you all the nature of my addiction. i don’t watch porn near as much as i used to, but i think about it nearly every moment i’m awake. if i’m bored or depressed, hell, even if i’m feeling good, i create pornographic scenarios in my head to daydream and fantasize about. i fantasize about actors, band members, anyone i find attractive. even sometimes my friends or coworkers, and i don’t know what makes me feel worse.
i wanna leave space for yall too, so let me wrap this up. your advice, experience, check-in, whatever’s on your heart, is welcome here. i know literally nothing about how to recover from this other than i can’t do it alone, so i hope yall will join me (and my rambling self) here :] be good to yourself, and thank you for reading all this <3
Good morning from Manchester, England. There are some wonderful people here that share their journey in recovery from pmo addictions, it’s something I only have any real knowledge of from reading their shares.
Now one thing I’m very familiar with is drug addiction so wanted to say well done on your first day as I know just how hard it can be to get a day early on. I hope to see you stacking those days up
good morning friend! thank you for sharing your kindness and support with me, it truly means a lot! getting a day sober has been a real challenge these last couple years, so thank you for validating the struggle. i wish you the best on your journey, and i hope you enjoy the day ahead of you :] !
Welcome Jesse!
I don’t have any experience with PMO, but addiction is addiction. We all have that commonality where we use whatever it is to escape something that’s uncomfortable in our past or present life. Pealing back all those layers and working on the reason(s) why is difficult but the results lead to a better life, addiction free. We do recover!
Wishing you the best on your journey!
Hi Jesse! Just wanted to say how impressed i am with ur openness and willingness to change. I dont have much experience with PMO, but i have attended SLAA meetings in the past for sex addiction. I remember feeling a bit embarassed and shameful about it. I used sex to escape just like i did with drugs and alcohol. It was another form of self harm.
Im glad ur here and seeking advice. I hope someone can give u a bit more info on what ur looking for
thank you for your support, friend :] you’re absolutely correct, addiction is addiction, and this realization that i’m a PMOer has opened my eyes to how sick i am. i don’t feel hopeless anymore, but i know i’m sick, and i need to give and get support if i ever wanna improve. i wish you the best on your journey as well, i’m glad you’re here <3
thank you for sharing your experience and kindness with me! i want to look into SLAA groups in my area, but i dunno if i’m ready yet. for now, i know i have wonderful people like you who find time to cheer my weird self up lol, so i know i’ll be okay, we all will <3 i hope you’re well my friend, and be good to yourself today :] !
I saying this because I care. Coming from one porn addict to another. I get your response a lot. Fellows willing to do anything, BUT visit a 12 step group. And the end result is never good.
Jesse, you are ready now. Don’t wait for another relapse before you find the need to add more connection in your life. If you don’t make this choice now, it may never happen for you. This forum is great. Use it. But for most of us, including myself, we needed more. Please heed my warning.
thank you for for expressing your concern and sharing your wisdom with me, i really needed to read that ! you’re right, i am ready, and i do need more connection. i thought that my knowledge about and attendance at AA (or drug related) meetings was good enough, but i need you all. and not just on my phone!
funny enough, at a meeting the other day, someone had mentioned SLAA and how they’re attending those groups now as well, even reading the literature in place of some AA literature! i should’ve talked to them after the meeting, but i got nervous. they may be able to get me connected tho, so i’ll have to build the courage.
i rambled a bit haha, but thank you again! you’re really making an impact, i appreciate your guidance friend and hope you’re well <3
Hopefully, you’ll run into that person again and find the courage to talk to them. They’ve been where you’re at and I bet they’re willing to be supportive. Maybe they’ll go to a meeting with you.
Have you considered a meeting online? Maybe it will help get your courage up. I’ll link a platform below that has all kinds of meetings. You don’t have to turn your camera on or share at all. Just listen and get comfortable with the format and shares. They have an SAA meeting on Friday at 8pm EST and SLAA on Saturdays at 8pm EST. There’s also women only meetings for all addictions, not 12 step based but I like them as an add on to my others. It’s called Soul Sisters and there are 4 meetings a week.
