I’ve made it the full week I’m feeling so proud but I’ve hit my first real stresser. I work outdoors landscaping gardening and at the weekend I hurt my arm and couldn’t do a few days and I went back at it today and I’ve ended up worse and I’ve pulled a muscle in my bicep and I’ve broken so many bones over the years and not felt pain like this.
I’m working for a family member and he’s not impressed at all, he knows I’m sober again and he knows I’ve put in all the effort and work by myself on the job I’m doing at a house but he’s just gone off on one and had a complete go at me and is acting as if I’ve done no work and left him high and dry.
It’s weird to say but I’m thankful that I am in so much pain physically with my arm because all I wanna do right now after him having a go at me is just go and have a drink and let off some steam. But because of the pain I don’t even want to drink. I’ve poured a cup of tea, take some anti inflammatories and I just needed to write something and get it out of my system.
I’ve also been to my doctor this week and had a good chat with her and I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and was on medication but stopped out of a rebellious streak when I was about 15 (I’m 32 this year) and she’s referring me to see a psychiatrist and get to seeing if I am suitable to be treated for ADHD and also to get the ball rolling on starting some counselling too.
I guess I’m just weighing up all the positives compared to if all of this had blown up like it has now to if I was drinking. I wouldn’t have gone to work so I wouldn’t be in pain but I probably would be passed out, broke, have fallen out with people and be doing boring else but drinking and wallowing in my own self pity.
Even writing this now I’ve almost talked myself out of even feeling upset right now. I’m so grateful for this community and the stories I read I can relate to so much. Thank you guys. Here’s to waking up sober on day 9 
