In 19 days Ill be sober for one year. This has been the most productive and clear year of my life. Everything is where it should be. I have a new baby on the way. As the days pass i feel more and more like I’m done. I quit, i did it, I’m not an alcoholic anymore. Hanging on to the information i have, knowing i can’t drink at all ever seems silly and even exaggerated. The urge to drink increases. Every day. I need some kinda refreshment to solidify these things i know to be true about myself. I want to be away from the idea of a “controlled relapse”. I thought the struggles would be less as time went on but this one feels really despicable. Idk how To shake it. I need to stay on the right path for me and my family.
Thanks everyone
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Well why did you quit and become sober in the first place?
What do you stand to lose if you start drinking again? Even moderately at first.
This here is my fave, I’ve quoted it before because it makes absolute sense.
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I agree, thats a very clear and simple analogy.
I would probably lose everything if i drank again.
Thats about where i was at when i quit. That keeps me kinda level headed about the situation, but it’s like im trying to think of ways around that outcome but honestly i know there are none.
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In the rooms I’ve often heard the phrase “we have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease” and I think it’s pretty accurate. My addictive voice is always telling me 1 won’t hurt, I’m not bad, I don’t have a problem because I can control it.
I’ve also heard “we have a 2 part disease. A physical allergy of the body that craves the booze, and an obsession of the mind tells us we need the booze” and I’ve found that to be accurate as well. After I lose the battle to the first drink, I want more, I “need” more. Even if I exert the power and stop at 1, I still absofuckinglutely want more.
Don’t join the 1 won’t hurt club, because it will hurt. It will reawaken the cravings. It will send you down the rabbit hole.
Im aware that theres no such thing as just one for me. My excuse was always just for today, just a 6 pack, ill drink this week and then quit again. Sometimes i do actually miss sitting around drinking all day and night, the escape, the “joy” and excitement in procurring what i so deaperatly craved. But its nonstop, chaotic, and dificult to navigate without wrecking my relationships and productivity. I will stay sober, just wish it would just happen by now, not something i hafta struggle to do.
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Thank you for your honesty and congratulations on almost a year! I don’t have any experience in this department as I’m new to recovery, but what I can say is that through meetings and people I know through their recoveries getting to the one year mark was so difficult the closer they came to it. Everything you have described here I’ve heard through others as well. It seems to be a normal experience we start to feel in control even though we absolutely know we can’t have just one. You aren’t alone in this at all if that helps, perhaps a meeting that you can express this could help too. Good luck you have come this far no need to test yourself!
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In the words of Fat Joe, nothing can stop me I’m all the way up.
Congats on almost a year! It will be a great feeling. You still have to take it a day at a time. Remember why you are on this path. Remember what you stand to lose if you go back.
I attend a meeting at a hospital where the inpatients attend as well. It reminds me of what I don’t want to b3 like again.
Helping others who still is a way we can remember what it was like and hate what we once were.
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I have taken up a hobby, an outdoor activity. I love it and it’s awesome. Helps me get away for an hour or so. I was attending AA for about 6 months maybe? I’m not sure, possibly only 3 months. I got a white yellow and red chip. I stopped going because i didn’t like how it felt really dwelling on alcoholism. It may work for some people but for me i didn’t want alcohol to define me. Wether it was present in my life or not. I know i can’t ignore it but i dont want it front and center either.
I’m at 7 months and 14 days and have been struggling with that exact feeling from time to time. I find acupuncture really helps to take the edge off! I can honestly say that it’s been a huge part of my sobriety. If you haven’t tried it I highly recommend it! Congratulations on your almost year!
Im skeptical of things of this nature. Ive heard it works but is it one of those things that only works if you believe it does?
Not at all, I had never tried it before, was completely skeptical and only went because I was desperate to try anything. It consists of using tiny, fine needles to hit pressure points throughout the body. It’s Chinese medicine that’s been done for centuries and totally safe and painless, just make sure you find a reputable practitioner😊 After a session I feel more relaxed, balanced and totally in control. I’ve been going to treat my alcoholism, anxiety, depression and insomnia since day one and can honesty say it’s changed my life!
I saved that one too. And I use it to explaine to friends what my problem is 
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You’re not done yet! Hang in there! The best is yet to be!! Hitting One year is monumental. It’s a big number. Inconceivable early on, and the reality of it can be daunting. Congratulations on making it to this mark. You’re a very fortunate man!
Immersing myself into AA helped. Support helps. I had a lot to learn about living life sober… like everything… the most important being How. To. Enjoy. It!
Goals helped me. Great, big, huge ones! Whether work related (switching careers), personal (becoming a better spouse) or educational (going back to school). Sky’s the limit there…it’s not just picking up a new hobby to fill time…it’s finding your passion, your purpose, your soul, you!
Time sober doesn’t automatically improve ones life… what you do with that time does 
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Still going steady. 426 in. And I’ve been having these moments where i completly disconnect from the people im close with. Specifically when i want to drink. Probably about once a month i go through a 4 to 7 day shutdown mode and just dwell on wanting to drink. Nostalgic and reminiscent of old times. The freedom i had from life and responsibilities in years past. I plot and plan and realize no matter what I’ll probably be found out. And even if I’m not ill regret it and hate myself. I really just try To remember that hopeless feeling of wanting to be sober but convinced it was unachievable. When i used to fantasize about not being a slave to drinking. Hiding in the bathroom drinking mouthwash wishing i didn’t so desperately need to be shitfaced.
I really hope it’s just another psychological obstacle. My life is 75% awesome with these moments of difficulty being the only real bad content. Hope everyone is doing well and staying strong. Thank you.
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