Last week I went camping with a large group of friends and extended friends. These are people that I met the day I quit drinking, almost a year ago. I live several hours away from them so I only see them at events, but I grew very close to them very quickly and I’ve been able to be more open with them than people I’ve known for years. Every since I came home I can’t shake a million emotions. I’ve been on the verge of tears for days. Some of it is shame and embarrassment because I let my walls down with these people, and I’m paranoid that they’re judging me, even though the logical side of my brain knows they’re not. I never realized the level of trust issues I had until recently. I know that’s where a lot of my paranoia comes from. I’ve also just been feeling really lonely since I left them. I have a partner and a couple friends here at home, but I feel a bit alienated from them, because I know they won’t understand. I just feel like I have no outlet for my emotions, and I don’t know what to do with them. Also, I expected a lot of emotion rushes from quitting drinking, but this feel way deeper than sobriety mood swings. I feel like I really unearthered some emotional issues while camping and now I don’t know how to fix them.
Sometimes it helps just to talk about it. Please feel free to vent.
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Every time I come back from camping I go through an existential crisis. Coming back to city life after being in nature is a major downer. Maybe you need to plan another camping trip:blush:
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