I was recently diagnosed with orthorexia and an eating disorder and it has been really hard to process.
Last year I met a new friend who I became close to right off the bat. However, I just now realized literally every time we hang out she always comment on my body. She makes statements like: you’re so tiny, you’re such a skinny bitch, I’m jealous( she said this at a party in front of a bunch of people, and I was extremely uncomfortable) she even made a couple comments recently about how “easy” my life must be because I’m thin (if she only knew what I deal with on a daily basis.)
Ever since I’ve known her, she’s been very vocal about her dissatisfaction with her body and wanting to lose weight. I try to be compassionate towards her and a good friend but it will send me into a spiral because she’ll end up comparing our bodies.
I don’t know how to set up a boundary, part of me wants to disclose my diagnosis, but I also want that to be my privacy. I just don’t know how much longer I can deal with this dynamic.
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Welcome to the community 
It’s sounds very tough to be in this situation, it can be very difficult when friends or people we know just don’t understand what we go through and the effort it takes, and that in fact it isn’t always easy it’s a big effort and their words can hurt, or even trigger us.
Nice to meet you 
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She doesn’t sound like a very supportive friend when she doesn’t know your diagnosis. I would be hesitant to share anything so personal with someone who I already felt a little off around. The decision is yours of course but if you can’t talk to her you can talk to us. Welcome!
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That sounds like a difficult spot to be in. I do not have an eating disorder but generally dislike when people make comments about people’s bodies, focusing on the superficial as opposed to what matters more about people. If you think this friendship is worth trying to maintain, you can set a boundary by responding to her comments with something like, “there is so much focus in society on a person’s body - there is so much more to people than how they look and I care more about xyz,” or if you want to be more direct, “it makes me uncomfortable when you say things like that/when you talk about appearance and body types.” The first method is trying to redirect the conversation and express your values while the second method is expressing the fact that you do not wish to talk about bodies on a more personal level.
I don’t know if this makes sense, but that’s generally how I handle it. My dad had a really bad habit of commenting on people who he perceived as too thin or too big or too whatever and I had a lot of practice trying to coach him into not doing it anymore. Luckily he was open to it and if she isn’t, then there’s only so much you can do.
Protecting yourself in this situation sounds like the most important thing as you navigate your diagnosis and treatment. Hang in there - I’m glad you’re here and seeking support.
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Personally, I agree with @RosaCanDo - people that constantly make comments about other people’s appearance are just annoying full stop, so 
. To me it sounds like this lady has her own sh** to deal with and you don’t need her tracking her mess around your house.
Edit: upon re-reading this sounds meaner than intended, I’m sure she’s otherwise a nice person or you wouldn’t be friends to begin with. Her self-esteem and body issues don’t seem compatible with your recovery though.
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Thank you! yes it does make perfect sense! I think, just practicing subtle yet direct, I think that’s what frustrates me is that it’s so superficial, and I have so many other, and greater qualities than my looks
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It’s totally Ok and true! To be honest, I’m been starting to reevaluate our friendship as a whole.
I work in the psychology and mental health field, which a lot of friends feel safe and secure confiding in me however, with this particular friend, I have noticed there’s a lot of what I called “trauma dumping” where shall talk about her depression and struggles excessively and always wants advice. Of course I want to support her but there needs to be a better balance in the friendship.
Thank you for your input it really does make me feel better
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