You do give a fuck. Otherwise it wouldn’t hurt you. 
Your addiction is the voice that’s telling you that you don’t give a fuck. My addiction tries to do the same thing. Our addictions speak to us in these sneaky, manipulative voices, to create a space where they can get fed. The addiction wants to be fed.
You’re here posting about it on a sobriety forum, so part of you obviously wants to be sober. Right now you are at the beginning of a journey where you learn to strengthen your higher self and not feed your lower (addict) self.
Feed that higher part of you. You can feed it for free by reading or listening to the resources here - Resources for our recovery - or by joining one of the groups listed at that link.
Don’t give up.