I have an amazing partner who, although isn’t sober barely drinks… he’s so proud of me for starting my sober journey and wants me to involve him in the process… I’m just scared I’ll be putting too much onto him. How do I figure out if he wants to know certain things… or how much I should share with him… I also want to know if he’s dealing with everything I tell him ok? He says he is fine… but i worry
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@Betue it’s like you peered into my life/head, because I’ve been thinking about this as well. I don’t know how much to dump on him and for now, I only share when he asks. Like, he’ll ask how a meeting went for example, then I’ll tell him. Otherwise I keep my venting to a minimum and dump my baggage on people in meetings. Lol, my fear is this journey will affect my relationship in a negative way. I only want positive things, so for now I’m taking it easy.
This is interesting to me because I’m in a unique situation. My husband and I are both in recovery (that’s how we met). We relapsed together and are back in recovery together. We have a lot of the same shared stories so I never had to hide anything. It’s like an open book in our household. This is good and bad I guess. I think the best part is speaking the same recovery language and being accountable for our bullsh*t.
I’m going to my first meeting tonight but I’ve been talking to him about why I want to do this and how I’m feeling. He encourages me to tell him when I need to vent. But I didn’t want to bring it up alot, it’s was just on my mind alot last night, and I felt bad for bringing it up… He seemed okay wiht it… but didnt have much to say…
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I love that! Im lucky he doesnt drink much, but I know it must be hard for him to understand why its important for me and exciting for me that Im meeting other Sober people and planning get togethers, when he doesnt involve drinking in alot of his social interactions to begin with… I guess its just a learning curve !
Have you thought about inviting him to an open meeting, a sobriety birthday night, or speaker night? Just so he can see a part of your new life.
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Sadly he lives pretty far away from me (8hr drive) But he has already said that he wants to hear about everything so maybe when he comes to visit Ill bring him along!
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I have always had the need to share my worries with someone. This is all well and good until you have some conflict situation and some stuff is thrown back at you. You then realise that all was not a rosy as you thought. At the end of the day you have to trust someone so be open to negative as well as positive feedback and you will be okay.