I am remaining strong in my sobriety when it comes to my sex addiction and my other drug habits, but after 2 months sober from weed I relapsed on that last month. I’m trying to bring myself back to the same mind set I was in last time when I decided I should be completely sober and I can’t think like that right now. I don’t know what it will take to force myself into trying again. I shouldn’t have let myself relapse in the first place. The reason I self medicate with weed is because I’ve been taking different medications for depression throughout the years and they all have only helped so much. Weed does help a little with some of the symptoms but I don’t know if the paranoia that I am messing up my lungs is worth it. I don’t want to go to sleep at night thinking about how I am messing with my lungs.
I’d be willing to work harder at being sober if I tried to be sober again but I don’t know if I’m ready to be sober. I have tried meetings before at different fellowships but have not went many times, it is a hard task for someone with social anxiety. Someone here suggested SMART and I will consider that if I do try again. And I hope I can get back to the point of wanting to try again. Thank you for reading.
You definitely need to get to the right frame of mind before you commit. I’ve heard many people say you can’t be addicted to weed, but I totally disagree. I will add that if your taking other medications your weed usage maybe having an adverse or negative effect on you mentally.
Stay with it brother and just keep trying it will stick eventually.
I don’t know how to get to that right frame of mind again. Last time it was like something clicked and I was determined, this time I’m just unsure and unready. I have heard about how weed can lessen the effects of my medication not all that adversely though otherwise as far as I know. When I was sober from weed for those 2 months that I was clean I didn’t feel a big difference in mood or motivation. I guess I was more motivated to make my life better when I was sober. I think I want to try again but I really am addicted and it’s hard not to take the ‘help’ I kinda get from it. But man do I have a hard time going to sleep thinking about what I’m doing to myself.
“don’t know what it’ll take to force myself into trying again”
Apologies in advance if my thoughts here are useless or inappropriate but an idea that came to mind when I read that sentence is something big and dramatic could stoke your fire to change/attempt once more.
Now usually life does a bloody amazing job at forcing change and drama and facilitating the need to reevaluate your practices. But maybe there’s a “big” action you could take, something you could do and control to a degree that would be the dramatic catalyst for your change?
Random ideas: expose or confess a deep, painful truth with someone that’s part of your addiction? Maybe some loud and personal art project? Going into the woods and felling every tree you can?
Might just be a rubbish idea, but thought I’d send it anyway.
@FaultyDrone it sounds like a good idea I’m just not creative enough right now to come up with anything. I don’t know if anyone is really part of my addiction, it’s a very isolated experience. If I think of anything I’ll try it but for the meantime I’m not sure.
@Shattered_dreams thank you for the video I will try to take it to heart. I smoked half a day ago maybe I will try to stop again now.
Is something bothering you, something or someone has possibly triggered you, or it could be just the addiction itself talking to you, over look it, tell urself not today, and find something else to take the place of the thought, call a friend read a book or read in here, best of luck to you, you can and will beat this… stay strong…
Thank you for the advice. I have proven to myself I can stay sober just for today but when it comes to long term I can’t do it. I can only distract myself for so long before the urges overwhelm me.
Your welcome, just gotta stay strong and keep pushing forward, if you fall get back up and try again, best of luck to you… stay positive… read ur bible always helps me…