Confrontational and non at the same time

Day 8ish NA

Ive always thought myself to be a person that’s not afraid of confrontation. If somethings on my mind, I can speak up for myself. However, it’s not the same with everyone!

I’m learning that my relationship with my alcoholic mother is unhealthy. She drinks less now in her older age but during my childhood it was a lot heavier. She was a single parent and did her best but I know that I took on the mission of “stabilizing” her at a very young age. My goal was to make things better for her. Then in my adolescence physical abuse was a big risk. I grew to be an expert avoider out of fear… Now I’m in my 40s and I STILL have trouble confronting her with anything, or speaking up about something that bothered me, or sharing my feelings. She has cognitive challenges now so I use that as my latest reasoning for avoiding conflict with her… I fear confronting her would make her cry or feel regretful or guilty.

I don’t really have a question. Just needed to verbalize.

4 Likes

Someone wise told me once: unlike friends, we don’t get to choose our family and instead we are stuck with them. Try not to be too harsh on yourself?

4 Likes

Congrats on 8ish days. Sobriety gave me the chance to work on what went wrong with me growing up. Like the emotional neglect and the need to take care of my mum and the fear she’d die. From a very young age. Hope you get to work on yourself too. Wishing you all success x

3 Likes