Today I was offered a bottle of wine and confidently declined. I had a feeling it would happen bc my ex comes by every few days to spend time with our child. Sometimes he brings a few groceries and in those groceries will be a bottle of wine. He knows I have a bad relationship with alcohol and often uses it as a way to get me talking to him. As it stands, I want nothing to do with him, but when I drink I don’t really care anymore and just talk his ear off. He’s been doing this for a while, so I anticipated it and was able to choose to love and care for myself today instead. Also, by saying no and opening up to my best friend (whom I live with), she gave me a big hug and we had a much needed conversation. She’s known about my addiction and she’s been there for many ups and downs. Unfortunately, she did a little too much and decided to take the wine from my ex and dump it down the kitchen sink. It made the whole house smell like wine, which was an additional trigger. But we actually laughed it off and it became a “Oops, I panicked” moment for her. 
I’m super proud of myself and felt like I achieved so much today. However, to do this, I had to acknowledge a few things:
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Today was an easy day to say no and that’s great! I’m very proud of myself. But not everyday will be as easy as this one and I need to focus on creating a sustainable plan for my journey. While I build that up over time, I will continue to face every day as it unfolds.
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I realised I built a wall around saying “Yes” today, so that option was not mentally accessible to me at all, which is why it felt so easy. The problem in that is, I can sense that it is the same wall I build around telling myself “No” when I am struggling to abstain. I need to learn, over time, what is creating that wall and how to slowly break it down completely so I can face what lies beyond it head on.
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I chose to take my day slow and steady instead of hastily distracting myself from alcohol with too much caffeine, nicotine and no sleep. I very lightly cleaned, kept my coffee and nicotine intake low and decided to rest. That really helped me keep me confident and motivated.
This was my day 2. I’ve had many day 2s and this was by far the most confident, motivated and gentle I’ve been with myself in a very long time. Today I feel great and I’m excited for the possibilities of tomorrow. Stay strong, lovlies. 
Definitely be proud of yourself. Congrats on 2 days sober
