I drank again ,I had 32 new days and I bought 4 shots and drank 3 and threw up the forth,so stupid ,IM not doing my program while thinking IM ok and Im not ok
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I’m so sorry to hear about your relapse. I’ve absolutely been there and i know how terrible it feels. Try to be kind to yourself today 
it’s a beautiful day for a new start
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i’m so sorry- but remember you got this that doesn’t mean you have failed or anything your progress still counts 
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I’m so sorry to hear about your relapse, I’ve been there many times myself and while the dreadful feelings are present right now just remember this is an opportunity to truly commit to your program and invest in your sobriety. This is your life and you are worth saving 
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Hey Laura, yep it sucks. If it was easy everyone could just simply do it by themselves.
Relapses obviously happen, but they don’t have to anymore. No more listening to you when it comes to booze. She’s not a trusted source.
When you feel or think it’s a good idea to drink, or use drugs, it’ll never be. It will always be a bad one.
Early on (less than 1 yr sober) it’s best to avoid places that serve.
Maybe consider a meeting or another sober group to fill time & be with folks who want to be sober, too.
Big hugs & simply remember we can’t change our past. Today is what matters!
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@saucywitchy You still made it 32 days without drinking, that’s quite the accomplishment. Good job! What was it that lead you to relapse again this time? What can you do differently this time to keep this from happening again. Forgive yourself, move forward 
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Maybe try ameeting or phone your sponsor if you have one when the urge comes on , and no your not doing your program , wish you well relapse happens but you can start again .
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Today is a new day. Remembering your why can help a lot. Reach out here if you’re feeling that urge. Sober is better. You’re also not stupid, you may feel like that, but you’re not stupid. We all have had our slips, and relapses. All you can do is get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. Hope you have a sober day today.
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I feel like I loss my focus on my sobriety and then the drink seems like it will make it all go away
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It is the terrific irony of addiction that just when we start feeling better and in control, the voice pipes up, showing that we are indeed not in control.
There were several steps that had to happen before you consume the drink. You have to feel like you want a drink, go to the shop, buy it, bring it back to your house, then drink it. At any point in those steps you could change course and either go home or throw it away. Be aware and ask yourself Do I really want to do this? What is happening in my brain and life that is making me want to follow old patterns?
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I hate that you are going through this ! Constant relapse is just continued drinking with torture interludes. Speaking only for myself, I needed to get away from everything in a controlled recovery environment. When I had the solid foundation of being medically detoxed. I immersed myself into the program of AA. Nothing came easy. I gave up one thing (alcohol) for the opportunity to have everything. Sobriety has to be the foremost thing in my life. The rest seems to fall into place gradually. Please don’t give up 
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Have you ever tried going to 12 step meetings?
It sounds like you need some extra support, and other recovering alcoholics (addicts in my case) are exactly what I needed.
I’ve got almost 7 years clean my friend, you can stop drinking. I doubt you can do it alone, though.
I couldn’t, tried many times to stop using without working a program. I think I usually made it a day or two, if that.