I first found this app a couple of weeks ago, I joined and initially had three sober days. I then had a couple of days away with my parents and thought what harm can it do having a couple of drinks socially with them over dinner, I’ll reset and start again when we get back, no problem I’ve done three days!
I was slightly disappointed to reset but justified it to myself!
Pressing reset was then too easy. It’s the holidays and there have been many social occasions since, so yes I tell myself I’ll drink socially. Again too easy to justify.
I’ve always enjoyed a drink. My friends are all known to enjoy a drink. I’ve spoken to a few about ‘let’s all have a sober week and leave it to the weekend’ it doesn’t happen.
I have a stressful life. I run my own business and my partner has just done the same about eight months ago. I agreed to do the books for him to keep costs down whilst it gets going. He works long hours, I run the house, shopping etc, I am a mum and now feel like I’m trying to keep ontop of two businesses plus I do all personal finances and house bills.
My partners children live two to three hours away so as he moved up here to be with me I’m then often driving there and back to get his youngest which then rules out a day from my working day. I feel I need to support where I can as he moved here to be with me, but now feel the travelling, running the businesses and looking after our children is often taken for granted.
My job is dealing one on one with the public (I’m a beauty therapist) I do often feel I can’t face seeing anyone and talk/be happy I hide a bottle of wine in the cupboard to give me strength between clients. I know this is totally unprofessional and id be mortified if anyone knew or a client smelt it on me but I sometimes don’t know how to cope.
My partner is a strong character and I feel I too easily fit in with what he needs. I don’t know how to break the cycle as I just do things as ‘it’s easier’.
I have drunk just about every day for the past three years (we have been together for four and a half). My daughter now steers me away from the alcohol aisle in supermarkets and tells me off whenever she sees me drinking which is awful. She is 11. I then have a drink to prove to myself that I’m an adult and can do what I like. Other times I drink when I’ve had an argument with my partner as a way of punishing myself. Does that sound odd? I know how fat and sluggish I will feel, how guilty I will feel but then think fuck it I’ll do it anyway.
I’ve put on two stone in the last three years and know it’s alcohol, I look in the mirror and really don’t like what I’ve done to myself.
I read all of your posts and you have some truly inspiring stories so had a moment of strength and wanted to write it all down.
Thank you for any advice and to hear if anyone else has any similar experiences and has come out the other side!
Ps I’m on day two again