Continuing a relationship after rehab

I know that AA recomends at least a year of recovery before getting into a relationship. My situation is that we were in a relationship for some time before both of us went into recovery. She is further ahead than me. But we did cut ties for about 4 months during the the beginning of it to work on ourselves. We ran into eachother recently and we both felt like we didn’t miss a beat. Guess i"m wondering if its dtill too early to continue what we had? I know its not a one size fits all situation and many variables. Just looking for some input. Thanks

4 Likes

I’m sure people are going to chime in about how the same thing happened to them and it worked out great, but at the end of the day the law of averages says it probably won’t end well. It’s nothing against you, it’s just statistics. Sure you can roll the dice and it might work out, but if it doesn’t work out the consequences can be absolutely deadly. A relapse for either of you is probably a death sentence.

Fwiw I entered into 2 relationships too early. I didn’t relapse but both relationships ended poorly. Mostly because I had no idea how to function in a relationship while sober. Generally that skill is only acquired after years of sobriety and working on recovery.

6 Likes

That seems to be the general consent within AA. First, relationships started in active addiction or a dry drunk didn’t end very pleasant for a lot of people involved. My personal opinion is different, the first year is to see whether your able to stay sober. Nobody talks really a lot of the years after that first one. It’s either a relaps or the sober living starts (maybe to general but the relaps rate around 1 year is high). I’m currently dating at 3,5 years sober. Getting dates is not the issue, but still kind off attract the “wrong” women (out of three dates three have at least problematic drinking problem), or to scared to approach a healthy one. About to end it for now, since my initial thought/feeling to stay at least five years single to build me a life without a spouse and a life were I basically need nobody……I’m on my way with that and maybe than somebody will walk in to my life I didn’t expect :pray:

7 Likes

Thank you for the input

1 Like

Thank you for the info. Thats what we were kinda figuring but thought id ask and see thought from people that have gone through it

1 Like

Oh thats a toughy. I wish i could offer some advice but i was married when i got sober.

Of course youve heard the year sober wait time before getting into relationships. I would highly recommend you build a steady foundation in your recovery before entertaining a relationship. The highs and lows of relationships can be devastating for Either of your sobriety.

4 Likes