So, I had a conversation tonight with one of my daughters that went:
“We need to get you home and ready for bed quick tonight because daddy has a meeting”
“A meeting? What for?”
Me …
“We can maybe talk about it another time, my girl”
Me … That was a bad answer. No way she lets this go …
“What?? Why?”
“Daddy’s meeting is just with some people who help daddy to be a good person and they help make sure I can be a good dad for you and your sister. I like to work on myself like that to stop doing silly things and focus on good stuff”.
“Oh. Well … But you’re already a good daddy”
Me … “Thank you, baby!” !!!
My daughter is still only four so think this answer was alright but just wondering how open the parents out there are with their kids about their addiction? Appreciate our kids will be at various stages of thier lives which will dictate what is and isn’t spoken about.
Anyone advocate for being open about it from an early age?
Just interested to get others thoughts and experiences with this.
As for me I haven’t talked with them about my drinking issues (they are 7 and 4 y.o.). My general approach to sensitive issues is to bring it up really slightly (if I feel the need to let them know) and then answer their questions if they ask and tell them only the answer, nothing more, because they are the ones who know what they are capable to process, not me. I will speak about it later, at the beginning of their teenage years I guess, but just gradually, considering their maturity.
oh man, as an ACA i would have given anything to hear my father was going to meetings! i knew my fathers condition very early on so i would have loved to have the conversation early in life as you did with your young daughter.
I’m with @littlemisschatterbox on this, if they are under ~10, they really don’t need to know the details. That is a very grown-up topic to try to understand at such a young age, especially at 4. If you keep at it and do what you should do, she’ll know no difference by the time she’s older, you’re just “Dad”.
My kids where quite a bit older when I got sober (9, 17, and 19) and I was open and honest with them. They were relieved
Thanks all. As I say, was just interested to hear what others had done. To be clear … Ive no intention, personally, to discuss it any further! Was just that conversation tonight got me thinking.
I had a similar conversation with my then 12 year old. Eventually I explained it was an AA meeting but at first I said it was a group of people who share their struggles and help each other. She thought it was great. She was fine when I explained it was AA too, but I needed to prepare her for that too.
“Thank you, baby!” 
