Am I the only one that’s over the “by the book” cookie-cutter AA? Where I am they have a concept that there’s a certain way you “walk, talk and act” in your AA. I feel that, yes, the AA big book has the guidelines but whatever keeps you sober go for it. No relationship one year great! (I had horrible ones anyway). But not allowing addicts to come to our meetings just because we’re Alcoholics anonymous is stupid. If they don’t find help in NA in our town, what’s wrong with them coming to our meeting to get help? Many addicts/alcoholics have co-occuring afflictions as it is. They don’t make the over-eaters feel like they should leave. A meeting I used to love, I now resent. Turning the other cheek too. I get it, like the bible. But my sponsor at the time had me feeling like a complete pushover. I was so resentful.
Also, having friends in AA who choose to attend meetings when you choose to meet online after covid. One of my friends acts like she’s…doing more in AA because she actually goes to AA meetings and I visit meetings online. I can tell it in her condescension when she reminds me of the meeting times and dates as if I don’t remember them. It’s put a strain on our friendship. I don’t want to go back right now. I’m not sure if I will later. I like my online meetings and conversations. What’s wrong with that?
Am I just having a whiny day? Lol
Criss
9y 8m 26d
Jeez. Maybe take a break from said friend for a while and leave it to the other members to pursue face to face meets in a time where we all should know better.
If you enjoy your online meetings, what more can you ask for! I don’t know how obligated you feel to return and stick to a certain aa meeting but it sounds to me like it doesn’t fit you anymore. As someone wise on here sais: let go or be dragged.
All the best to you Criss and congrats on your long sobriety!
I used to go to both AA and NA when I first got out of treatment cause I needed meetings to keep me returning to my old self and I was told that all is welcome in either fellowship. I was also told that when you go to AA speak the language and I introduce myself as an alcoholic and I use the word sober. I am an active member of NA today and we identify our selves as addicts and our time is clean time and that was out the respect for the AA fellowship. So if the fellowship had a problem with certain people attending maybe it’s the language that is spoken. Cause in AA I don’t speak about any specific thing and all I talk about is experience strength and hope. I don’t share the mess only the message. Best of luck with your meeting and I’m a more face to face meeting too I don’t really get the same message on zoom
personally I would do a step 10 and just move on with my day. 10 years of sobriety so who’s to say you are wrong. I will just comment though that AA is there to help alcoholics and has worked for nearly a hundred years by not changing, other groups have taken the 12 steps bc it is proven to work on many occasions and people can go to CA, NA, DAA, and find a group they feel comfortable with. As far as AA is concerned if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
Ir is down to individual meetings i think. I am not an active AA member any more - as you say, what works go for it! In the past I have gone to hundreds of AA/CA/NA meetings. AA can be very open or very closed, as can NA. My DoC is alcohol and I have been told to just say I’m an addict in NA meetings because being an alcoholic doesn’t cut it. I have always found CA meetings very welcoming and they often specifically have a reading on alcohol as being a mind altering substance like any other.
Horses for courses, I suppose, but as you have nearly 10 continuous years of being clean and sober you must be doing something right!
AA can be very dogmatic. I am lucky I have a very progressive sponsor. I am also lucky to have over 500 (pre-covid) meetings around me. So I can choose the ones that fit me. With that said, AA saves lives, and that is what is important.
Again, love the responses!. It’s been 5 months since I wrote that post and find now that it was how I felt in the moment. And it too, passed. I am still sober (over 10 years) and I still attend online only meetings, still have same friend, and have worked through my resentments about my previous home group. Yay!
Much love to the people of AA, my sponsor and online meetings and forums like this!!!
I have heard lots of stories of alcoholics preferring NA and addicts preferring AA. There is no RULE that says you can’t go to the other. I can see that some groups might decide to not mix and match but that just means that is not the meeting for you.
And I think there will be many people who prefer online meetings even once COVID is over. It’s like some workplaces will allow more people to work from home with virtual meetings. Some people just prefer that. And some people prefer in person. The world is going to make changes and it will be good.
I don’t know how obligated you feel to return and stick to a certain aa meeting but it sounds to me like it doesn’t fit you anymore. As someone wise on here sais: let go or be dragged.
