I’m really struggling with alcohol, I recently moved from the UK to Asia (Taiwan), I have had a drink problem for over 20 years. I grew up in a pub and have always been surrounded by drink and heavy drinkers (my mum is an alcoholic).
Moving to Taiwan was supposed to be a fresh start, a new beginning for myself and my husband.
The longest I have gone over here is 3 weeks, I’m currently on 3 days.
I am on 41 days no cigarettes and/or any other drugs and I am not having a problem with this. Drink has always been my crutch, my “thing”. I am not coping very well without it.
I manage week long without a drink (I used to drink pretty much each night) but am now caving in at the weekend. Last weekend I drank on both Friday night and Sunday daytime (after a 20 mile bike ride I had 3 beers).
I’m not drinking anywhere near as much as I used to but that’s no excuse and not where I want to be. I don’t want drink to be a part of my life but I feel that I am either missing out or that something is missing without the booze…it’s not a great place to be mentally.
I am trying to occupy my time but I am failing at the weekend, does anyone have any tips/recommendations for overcoming the weekend cravings?
What do you do on the weekends? Have you considered pursuing something awesome that you can only do where you are currently living, so you have something to look forward to on the weekends? I know if I was living in Taiwan, I would take some martial art, or maybe a cooking or language class. It’s even better if it is something you can do as a couple. Really immerse yourself in the culture. While almost every culture has its party scene, there’s so much more to it than drinking.
I lived in the Far East for a total of 4.5 years. Yes, I did my fair share of drinking, but I also did a whole bunch of other things. I toured shrines and battle fields. I went to museums. I ate a lot of local cuisine. I took Shorin Ryu Karate for a time. I learned to speak passable conversational Japanese.
Welcome back to the forum! I am sorry to hear you are struggling, I can relate as I too hoped a geographic change might give me a fresh start…sadly, my drinking got worse at first…but I kept at it. Knowing and wanting to get sober helped me to continue trying when I was so down on myself.
I love the suggestions you got. I found exercise…biking, fitness classes, walking, yoga…really helped me mentally and physically. Working my body to exhaustion kept my mind elsewhere. Also having busy hobbies or traveling around learning about the area would be good and of course AA nearby.
No religion needed. I know an atheist who has 41 years sober in AA. He is decidedly anti-God. Having a higher power of your understanding helps. A lot of people use the group or the program or a sponsor for their higher power if they don’t want to use a higher entity. Your concept of higher power will most likely evolve over time as you grow in the program.
I lived in Okinawa, and from there, I spent time in mainland Japan. Climbed Mt. Fuji twice. Been to Tokyo, Atsugi, Hokkaido. Spent time in Korea and the Philippines, Australia, Guam, Thailand and Hong Kong. On the other side of the world, I’ve been to Norway, Denmark, Germany, England, Spain, Greece, Israel, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. Closer to home, I spent time in Panama and Haiti (and hope I never go back to Haiti)…all in the military. Since I got out, I’ve been back to Spain and went to Iceland.
The thing is, besides Saudi, Kuwait, and Panama and Haiti, I made the most of every opportunity to enjoy the culture. Some of my buds and bros spent every minute they could getting tanked. I have so many good memories and experiences to reflect on. Learning the official dance of Guam (the cha-cha). Scuba diving on the edge of the Marianas trench. Standing on top of Mt. Suribachi on Iwo Jima. Being shown around Haifa by two absolutely stunning Israelis, both of whom where toting M16s on their backs, as we had coffee in a little cafe. Too many experiences to list here.
You are there. Make the most of every minute. Do it sober.
Sorry I’ve not been on here for a while, I’ve been pretty low recently. I had a full health check done on Saturday, this included an abdominal ultrasound. The doctor said I had mild fatty liver, I’m 36 years old. I hope this shock will help to stop me drinking. I’ve not touched alcohol for 5 days.
My work is hosting an all you can eat and all you can drink dinner party on Friday, I live in Taiwan and not showing up to it is out of the question (losing face). I lied to my coworkers by telling them I have to take a course of antibiotics so I can’t drink. I just need to get through Friday, I must!
Thank you everyone for the support, I really appreciate it.
Having lived in the Far East myself, I can understand the challenge you face to save face.
I think the bit about antibiotics is a good strategy.
Sun Tzu wrote that deception is good strategy in war. I treat addiction as fighting a war. On addiction’s side there’s culture and peer pressure. Using deception to deflect this is like using a shield to deflect a sword blow.
Whatever it takes. Keep fighting. Keep pushing forward. No retreat from the goal of sobriety. No surrender to addiction. Even if you lose a fight, and maybe relapse, recommit and push back harder. Every day sober is one day closer to final victory.
