I’m unsure but wonder if working out is a possible early warning sign that I’m about to act out. A FB memory popped up of me working out and it was shortly before a known time period of inner circle behavior. I know I had been exercising not long before my most recent relapse as well. I’ve been losing weight since 2020 and have hit a huge milestone even without working out for awhile. I’ve been wanting to start up again and I’m not sure if I should. How sad is that?! Not knowing if it’s an issue as well as if it is that I have to limit an activity that is beneficial to my physical health. Has this happened to anyone else here?
Are you exercising so much that your causing your body more strain and stress than good that it begins to affect your mental health in an unhealthy way ?
Im not sure if I’m understanding your post correctly
Exercising is not in your middle circle. Exercising - the physical act of doing healthy exercise - can take many, many different forms. Exercising is not a problem. In fact, it is required. It’s like eating vegetables. It is necessary for healthy living.
What you’re going through sounds like euphoric recall: the process of romanticizing memories of acting out. Euphoric recall is relatively common, especially in early recovery.
If it helps, change up your exercise routine. There is lots of exercise you can do outdoors and at home, without ever having to get to a gym.
And hit up a meeting. There are loads of SA, SAA, or SLAA meetings online - you should be able to find one easily.
Thanks! This community has already been helpful. It might have been useful to add my addiction (sex addict) in the discussion. No, I’m not over doing it physically. I think it’s about trying to look better and feel cute as to attract (manipulate??) others. With the endorphin release I would assume makes me feel sexier which in turn feeds confidence to flirt and ultimately leading to my bottom line.
I had to look up euphoric recall. This link What it is Euphoric Recall and How to Deal With it was specific to my addiction. I’m not trying to rationalize or downplay what I’ve done. It’s not about exercising publicly at the gym. I own a treadmill, stationary bike, weights, and a few other items. So no I don’t think it’s like a look at me in the moment kind of mentality but more an inner one of making myself more attractive in the long run. Maybe trying to boost my self esteem but in the end probably objectifying myself instead. I attend SAA meetings when I can, both WO and mixed. However, they can only get me so far. Glad to have been given this app recommendation for when groups are unavailable.
I agree that you are probably objectifying yourself physically. Objectifying oneself is an unhelpful behaviour, but it is only a symptom. The deeper problem is in your heart; it is deeper than just exercising or not exercising; it is deeper than how you exercise. The simple fact is, you must have exercise to be alive, even if that exercise is as simple as taking a walk. I suspect that it would be helpful for you to talk with your sponsor or others in your SAA group about this and see what input you can get about the deeper heart or spiritual issues at play here.
There is a way through this. Take the steps you think will be helpful, and remember the material manifestations (behaviours, equipment, even one’s thinking patterns) are just symptoms of a deeper cause. Seek the cause(s), and you will find pathways to freedom.
Yes I need to find a sponsor but being a woman I haven’t found the right fit yet. I know there’s a root cause here somewhere. Just haven’t put my finger on it yet. I know exercise floods us with endorphins and again I’m not sure if there’s a connection or not. I don’t want to find myself obsessing over a workout routine next.
