Im sweating, im listening to the right music you do when youre in that trance. Belly feels bloated, and im hanging myself (not literally) with questions of why.
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I’ve done a lot of things in my life, and in order to be successful at them, I needed a plan. Going off on an adventure without a plan is a surefire way for it to be a disaster. Sobriety is no different.
I flirted with sobriety for a while (years), but I’d never get further than 3 or 4 days, because I didn’t have a plan. I thought I could give up the bottle and I’d be fine, but I was wrong. I’d drink and be sick the next day or two. I’d tell myself “never again” but after I felt better, I was back to my old ways. The bad hangovers were my only motivation to quit, so I was only motivated when I had a bad hangover; it was a vicious cycle.
Only when I had a plan, did the plan become my motivation.
My plan was simple, take it one day at a time.
In that one day, I’d commit to reading this forum. I found people whom I considered to be mentors, and leaders, I listened to what they had to say. I followed their suggestions. I did what they did.
I started changing my relationship with alcohol. Made pro/con lists. I journaled. I wrote my deepest darkest feelings down, got it out. I used that to reflect on who I am, and used it as a guide to become who I want to be.
I meditated. I learned to sit with myself and just be. I learned how to let the moments pass through me, not the other way around.
I went to AA with an open mind. I didn’t want to, but I did.
I created a sober network, people I could lean on in times when I was weak, and in return they could lean on me.
I began to see the benefits and I loved it, I wanted more.
Without a plan, all I got was 3 or 4 days without drinking. With a plan, I got my life back and a whole lot more.
What’s your plan?
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Maybe you cant do this yourself , so try ameeting meet new sober friends who have been were you are now , effort and desire help also wish you well
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Get yourself along to an AA meeting. There will almost certainly be one near you and there will almost certiainly be someone (or many people) there who has been as bad or worse than you and will be able to help.
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Curtis, welcome aboard. Lots of folks here have been in the same exact boat, so don’t think for one minute that you’re alone. Listen to what the others have posted previous to me. You need a plan. Stick around, read a lot, and learn what you can. It’s going to take time and effort, but it will get better, I promise you!
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