I just found out my cousin passed away. Today was my first day at my new job so I’m scared to ask for tomorrow off. Im trying to hang in there. Id been doing good. I made it a couple days. But its so hard.
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I’m so sorry to hear that - that’s a heartbreaking loss 
You should ask. There’s no harm in asking. Death is rare, and tragic.
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I’m sorry to hear about your loss. 
Take the day to grieve. You won’t be productive at work with a heavy heart.
Please let us know how you are doing.
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I just dont want them to think I’m not reliable
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I am so, so sorry for your loss. I would definitely approach your boss and ask, or ask for guidance with a solution where you could attend services without disrupting the workflow. Good luck, and again, I am so very sorry for your loss 
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Sorry for your loss🙏
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Reliable means you do what’s needed so everything is balanced and working. Do you skip oil changes on your car? If the car’s headlights stop working, do you keep driving it to work because you can’t take time to care for the car? (Is that reliable? Someone driving around with no headlights?)
And if you’d take time to heal your car, then obviously you’d take time to heal your heart - time to grieve.
Trust me, it is the reliable thing to do 
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I’m sorry for your loss CoF 
Approach your employer, explain what has happened. They would surely give you a little space. I’d question working for any company that wouldn’t show a little compassion in your situation, whether you’re a new start or not.
I’m worried about your sobriety. The easiest thing in the world to do right now would be to drink / use. Rise above this feeling with all that you have in you. We are here if you need to talk
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I’m very sorry for your loss. Talk to your boss and ask for compassionate leave.
It’s vital that you protect your sobriety in this difficult time.
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I’ve been up most of the night cause I can’t sleep. Basically been listening to audiobooks non stop to keep myself from drinking.
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Maybe a visit to your doctor is in order. I’d sooner ask for something to help me sleep than turn to drink. You feel like drink will give you some relief, but it won’t. It just screws up tomorrow, bringing a load of other problems with it. Don’t make yourself go through another day one. They are painful, full of shame and guilt.
Try some sleep music instead of books. Sleep deprivation affects your mental health, which is the last thing you need right now.
You can do this, and we are all on your side here. Talk whenever you need to x
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Very sorry for your loss. Please be sure drinking wouldn’t help. With anything. You can’t be drunk for the rest of your life and as soon as you’d sober up reality would hit you double as hard. Don’t do it. Ask for help instead from real people. Like you’re doing here. And I agree with talking to your new boss. Try to lay down first and do some guided mediation for example. Always helps me to fall asleep. Hugs.
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Haven’t beenable to fall asleep and I gotta get ready for work in 20 minutes but I havent touched a single drop of alcohol.
I’m gonna head into work and talk to my boss in person in case he wants me to stay. I’ll ask for today off and then ask for the day of the funeral. Though arrangents are still being made so we don’t know when that is. Maybe we can come up with a plan to make up missed hours.
If I can go home I think I’ll ask my husband to watch our son once I get tired enough that I think I can sleep. And we’re also gonna go visit my mom today.
In the near future I’m gonna paint my guitar, not fully sure what I’ll paint on it but something to remember and memorialize my cousin as he helped me buy my first guitar and gave me his old amp.
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Very sorry for your loss. Glad to see you’re still sober. I know it’s hard but thats a very wise choice! If you can make it through that kind of heartbreak sober, you can definitely make it through the regular daily struggles. 
