Today is day 8 of sobriety and the cravings have never been so bad. I vividly dream about relapsing every night and wake up every morning craving my fix. Since I have gotten out of the hospital after almost dying and getting back to my hometown (which I hate because of all the drug memories I have here) I am becoming more and more depressed and anxious that I am going to fall back into my past ways. I am looking for any support or knowledge that can help me out of this rut. The cravings keep hitting me like I’m standing infront of a train and each time it’s becoming harder to resist. My mind tells me “hey just once to get it out of your system and then you will be fine” but deep down I know thats just my addiction talking, But as time goes on I start to feel like maybe I should just do it once to get it out of my system. Please help because I do not want to fall back into my old drug riddled ways after coming this far in sobriety.
How did you feel everytime you woke up after a lot of drinking, how dissapointed will you be if you relapse? Think about that. Do you thinking relapsing is worth that pain?
I get what you’re feeling man, and yes that’s you’re mind tricking you. Doing it once won’t get it out of your system, all it will do will spiral you worse into a relapse and make your depression worst. It’s seriously never any fun anyway bro, as soon as we do the drug we hate are self. You have to play the tape of why you wanted to stop, start picking up different activities, different ppl places and things. Go for a jog, set some small goals for what you want in life. I’m not kidding when I say cocaine took literally every fucking thing from me bro. Don’t let it do it to you too, push through these urges and you’ll come out stronger tomorrow.
My vice is cocaine and benzodiazepines but I get your perspective on it and you’re completely right no doubt about it. I appreciate the blunt answer but we all know even just thinking like that wont get the job done there needs to be actions and steps put in place. But thank you just reading this helped
Do something to keep your mind of using. Perhaps go for a run(avoid places that trigger you). Listen to a podcast. read a book. take a nap.
Thank you so much man. I appreciate the support and the time you took to send me this message. You sound alot like me and your life sounds like mine when you say you literally lost everything and so have I. I’m in a rebuild phase of my life right now. Thank you so much for the support brother this really helped me alot and is making the cravings easier to deal with knowing I have people that have came from the same place supporting me and giving me their knowledge of how to overcome it
Absolutely man. I know my mind even at almost 5 months sober tries to tell me the shit was fun. I can literally tell when someone is on coke when I see them and it almost triggers me. But I remember why I stopped, because it took all my money, made me want to kill myself every morning after. The nights I’d sit in my room geeking out hating myself because my heart was pounding so fast i thought I was going to die. But yet as soon as my heart slowed down and the coke was gone, I’d buy more and repeat the cycle all night just to be completely broke the next morning and replaying everything I hated about myself that night before. If you have dealers in your phone or on FB, block them and stay away from friends who do it or who you have done it with. You really do have to switch everything up bro and it will become easier promise
I was the exact same doing in by myself trippin out because I thought I was going to die and like you said once you calm down and are normal you repeat it all over again. Never ending and just killing yourself slowly while everyone who cares for you watches you wilt away and I can’t go back to that. I truly want to thank you mike because you have made today way easier for me and made me sit back calm down and remember this journey isnt going to be easy but I have the will power and the support to get through it and beat it. So thank you again 
Hi hope your feeling a bit better now u have reached out and got help… cravings really are the devil wanting you dead … I understand your not liking where u live but remember once u close the door u can be anywhere in the world… I moved countries once thinking that would stop me taking drugs but I still went out and found a dealer ! It’s about saying no to yourself and getting comfortable in your own skin and it does take time and lots of work … 8 days clean is amazing remember to take it 1 day at a time one minute at a time on days like today when the cravings are bad . Have u tried any na or ca zoom meetings? It’s a great way to here others stories like yours and connect with others in recovery so then u get more support and help
That’s a really good way to think about it and look at it. I love seeing things from different perspectives so I thank you for that. I have attended NA and CA meetings before but not on zoom so thank you for sharing that with me I will definitely check them out 