Hi! My name’s Crystal and I’m an alcoholic. I’m 16 days sober and I’ve been attending AA meetings regularly for the past week, which have been an incredible source of support and motivation to continue this journey. Prior to this past week, I was admitted into a mental health facility because my drinking had lead to suicidal ideation and honestly, I was being incredibly reckless with my life. I can’t afford to be reckless with my life, I have a 7 month old daughter and a fiancé that depend on me. I want to be here to watch her take her first steps, get on the school bus for the first time, and graduate. She deserves to have a sober and present mom. I also want to be here for myself, to get married and enjoy the life I’ve built. So here I am, 16 days sober, determined and hopeful. I look forward to reading your stories, celebrating your milestones, and being inspired by the strong, incredible people who choose sobriety
What’s up, Crystal?! Welcome to TS! You are making a great decision, even if what led to this decision was rough, you are making a life changing shift for the better. ODAAT!
Welcome to an amazing sober community @CrystalSage
Im glad you are getting support at AA meetings. Now you can add this forum to your sober toolbox.
Checkin often. It helps
Howdy from Scotland your doing great keep your meetings up and im sure youl make plenty of new sober friends ,wish you well
It sounds like you’ve got a great start going there. Keep it up.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
My name is Krista- Im a life long addict (I’m 35, have been using since I was 12.) Of 23 years. This is my second attempt to get sober within 3 years time. I got sober in 2020 and stayed sober for 1 year. Once I hit once year - I remember thinking that I had everything figured out and I knew how to control myself. HA! I was terribley wrong. I started out just smoking weed. Then it went to smoking weeds, taking gas station kratom to the point of throwing up whole capsules of it. Then I thought I could handle getting my prescription for Klonopins back, like thinking I could actually take them as prescribed once again … I was fucking wrong. I then cleaned up for about 6 months. . On May 4th 2023 I found a baggie of what I thought was heroin in my fiances wallet. I immediately became inraged with fear and explosive anger. I took it up on myself to snort the entire bag in front of him. .14 seconds later I died from a fentanyl overdose. He called 911 while holding my lifeless body begging me to breathe (this was him telling me afterwards). 2 puffs of narcan didn’t phase me. I was taken to the ER and administered 4 IV bags of narcan, and resesitated by the paddle shock to my heart. I don’t know how or why I am still alive.
I have 2 months 10 days right now.
Continued success to you
I spoke to my dad for the first time since discharge from inpatient. I finally told him about my alcohol addiction and that I admitted myself into a facility to get help. I was dreading it because our relationship has been strained lately. He told me how proud he is of me for getting help and for admitting I have a problem. He said he’s impressed that I took the initiative to start attending AA meetings. I could tell he was crying (phone conversation) when he told me that I inspired him to speak with his doctor about being admitted to a rehab facility to come off of his fentanyl patches, which he’s been prescribed and using for over 20 years, and is now addicted to and reliant on to function. I cried too (which is an incredibly rare thing) and told him how much I love him. It was such a relief. I’m proud of him too, for admitting he has a problem and needs help. And I feel so loved and understood. I’m beyond grateful for what sobriety has given me in just this first month.
I’ve been feeling pretty down the past few days, as well as physically not feeling great. Skipped a few meetings and haven’t been as active on here. Just feeling overwhelmed I think with sobriety, motherhood and school. I’m dog sitting about an hour away from home for two weeks starting next Wednesday and I’m taking Sage (my 8 m/o daughter) with me. I’ve already covered the basics of looking for meetings in the area, asking my friend to remove alcohol from the house while I’m there (which he was super understanding of, thank god). Idk, I think my anxiety is just high bc I’m going to be away and alone with Sage for an extended period of time and we haven’t been away from my fiancé for even a night since she was born. He’s planning to visit on his days off so that’s fine. Idk why my brain is going crazy about this. Maybe I’m worried I’ll relapse while I’m there without my support system? But I’ve been doing so well, 37 days sober and I don’t have any urges or cravings. This is long and unnecessary. TLDR; anxiety is rearing it’s head and I’ve been slacking on meetings and sobriety related self care. Just not feeling the motivation and I’m not sure why. /:
These are the times to grow “smart feet”. Just go and do the deal, without the motivation. Do it by rote, by repetition.
It might seem dramatic, but this is the truth for me: I must do something about my alcoholism every day, or it will do something about me.
I’m really proud of you! Keep being sober your top focus wherever you go. You can do it because you’re already doing it. Keep up the great work! Like you said your daughter deserves it. So do you.