Im sitting in the doctors office and I’m going to tell them I’m an alcoholic. I have never told any medical providers about my drinking issues but I’ve been drinking pretty much every single day for the past year. And just about every other day for the past decade.
I’ll drink until I pass out every night and then wake up at about 3am with a racing heart and soooooooo much hate for myself. In those moments I vow to never drink again. Then noon rolls around and I’m travelling to the liquor store again.
I’ve made promises to my fiance that i would quit and have lately been trying to completely hide it from him. Ever since I blacked out at Thanksgiving, I’ve been on thin ice with everyone i love. On Friday my fiance caught me drinking and driving and he started to pack him bags. He was done with me. I begged him to stay and we had a very serious conversation. He agreed to give me one last chance on two conditions: I never drink again and we postpone the wedding…
So here I am, about to cry from shame waiting for the doctor to come into the room. I don’t know how I’ll get the words out but i have to try.
This is a great step, I know it’s hard but you can do it. You can’t move forward if you don’t acknowledge that you are an alcoholic. I told my doctor how much I was drinking only this past year and it started the ball rolling.
There’s no shame in crying hun, just trust the system and be kind to yourself and make sure you quit safely. We’re here to talk and listen and we’ve all be on that same page x
Hi @Kafula, welcome back.
It’s hard when normies compel me to promise to never use again.
In my experience, I really cannot make such never, forever promises. Because I’m an addict.
A more honest answer for me is, “I can’t stop on my own. I need help.”
That’s a big step forward! Congratulations! I feel you, it’s hard to open up! But it will help you!
How was the docter’s appointment?
@Kafula How did it go at the dr. office? Do u have a plan to stay sober? Postponing wedding seems like a good idea. I wish I would have delayed mine a year. 
Girl, thanks for sharing your story… And thanks for keeping me sober today.
I have only a little over a month and every day is a battle. Its stories like yours that keeps me sober. And I’m def grateful. Try and find a meeting near you.
My dude almost left me also recently when I got a dwi - he took me to a AA meeting and I’ve been sober ever since.
Good luck on your journey babes.
Looking forward to hearing how it went. It’s ridiculous that there should be any shame involved in admitting to an alcohol issue. Drinking is basically force-fed to us by marketers from the time we are wee babes. Then, everyone is just supposed to be able to drink “normally”? I am proud of your choice.
My forever, never promise didn’t work out that way. I am still struggling. I hope yours does.
Good move. The shame is just your recognition that the way you have been living is not right for you. Don’t let yourself ignore this issue any longer and you will lose that weight.
Would love to hear how you feel after the appointment.
Looking forward to hearing what happened at your Doctors. I’m 28 days sober and have to see my doctor soon. I’m really nervous.
@SoberWalker @EarnIt @LeilaBird @NR1002
I survived! A few tears but it felt right telling someone that was able to help me from an objective point of view. The Dr was hesitant to begin treatment as far as anxiety and depression go until I’ve fully detoxed due to the potential of withdrawal symptoms. We discussed what symptoms to look for and when I should go to the ER.
He said to come back after 5 days or so and we can start to attack the medical side. In the mean time he gave me info on local treatment centers if i wanted to go that route and he strongly recommended I visit an AA group. I can’t really miss work to go to a detox center. Im really nervous to go to AA. Im a huge introvert!!
As for today (day 3)… I’ve made it through another day and feel pretty good! One very serious issue I’m dealing with are OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT ALCOHOL. Like even though I’m committed to staying sober, there is a 3 hour time frame tomorrow night that my brain keeps hatching evil plans for because I know I’ll be alone. I recognize them and and say “no, we’re going home, eating dinner, doing yoga, and cleaning before the boys get home”… But the thoughts keep creeping back in. It’s the hardest part of all of this for me. I’ve been using meditation techniques to try and sweep my mind clear but it’s definitely a battle. Anyone else have a brain that makes plans of its own?
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!!
5 PM was my “Witching hour”, the time the cravings really set in and I would create reasons to go to town. Unfortunately, deciding to quit doesn’t make the cravings go away, if anything, seems to make it worse! But don’t despair! The good news is that the cravings wont hurt you, it’s only when you cave does it hurt you.
I found that if I could get to 6:00 or 7:00 then I’d be fine for the most part, probably because it’s after dinner.
So, in order to get past my witching hour, I needed a strategy. Cooking was my strategy; I’d pick a meal from a cookbook, go shop for fresh ingredients, then prepare and make a delicious meal. This process took me a good 3 hours, more than enough time to get past the cravings, plus I was picking up a pretty awesome skill.
A lot of the meals I made can be found in the “foodies unite” thread. I’m pretty proud of them!
Maybe cooking is not your thing, but the idea to have a strategy to be fully occupied during your “Witching hour” may help you out.
Yep, 5 is right when I have to drive past the liquor store on my way home. I do love to cook so that actually sounds like a wonderful idea!
I’d like to start Yoga again too. The last sober stretch I had of 30 days last year was mostly filled with yoga… I can make anything an addiction… it must be my super power 🤷
I’m going to check that cooking thread out now for some ideas! Thanks!
Glad to hear the doctors appointment went fine! Yes, off corse I recognize “your” little voice telling you you can drink! I think we all have our own demon voice inside.
Mine for example starts to ramble when I am alone in my house and there is a open bottle of wine open from my husband.
I was for 5 years sober earlier and I still got that voice sometimes. I think that’s the addicted mind talking to us. In the beginning it talks a lot to us. But the longer we live a sober life the seldom he speaks is my experience.
Alfter 5 years of sober life I thought I was cured and could drink moderate. But after a few months I started to drink more and that voice was back every day. One of te reasons I quit drinking was because of that voice!!
So the longer you are sober, the more peace in your head 
Hi i think your so brave … i know how hard it is to ask for help . I strongly recommend aa it saved my life . In the UK there’s a aa number you can phone to talk to someone and they help arrange for someone to go to the meetings with u … it’s the best thing i ever did … X good luck x
Checking in today. I know I will stay sober today but I’m afraid for tomorrow when I’m going to be alone! I have the most thoughts about drinking when I’m by myself 
Can you put a plan in place? X
Think about what you can do tomorrow. You mentioned you’re moving, this should keep you busy, no? Get yourself a nice meal for tomorrow night. Remember HALT. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. Don’t fall into any of those traps. Come on here.
At first everyday as I drove past the gas station I used to buy from, in the morning and in the evening I would have to physically fight with that voice that would try to make me go in.
It’s hard, very hard!
If anything went wrong at work my first thought would be to get in the car and go and get some. (I used to drink at work).
My wife went out for the day once and I asked my youngest daughter to make sure she was at home so I had some accountability.
I had to make sure that my sobriety was right at the forefront of my mind. Totally.
I have since changed my attitude towards alcohol. I no longer drink.
Not saying I don’t get the urge now because I do. But I’m not totally thinking about it all the time any more.
That sounds just like me (even the drinking at work)! I don’t know how people who live alone get through it. It almost seems like i need a babysitter