Aww; poor Heath… Joaquin does such a great job at his portrayal; I think he has a way of really becoming whatever person he’s playing…
The both are different. It is a beautiful movie about mental health really.
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Good morning team! 2 days 14hours in 
Nice and far into day 3. I woke up I made my bed!!! My bed!!! I had cereal and coffee. And then I did a meditation. I PRAYED! I actually asked God to keep me sober today. Guide me in my decisions and give me strength to say no.
Praying for you all today! Chat soon x
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Wow, Stacey. Way to keep at it. Almost to day 3. 
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Got a plan for the rest of my day. I’ve been looking after this little man JB aka Jelly bean or Bean.
I’m going to the rescue soon to do some cages while my pain is lower. And then staying at a friends to coach her through minding a new born baby hoglet 
I’ve had fun today. I’m a bit anxious but you know what I think I can be sober just for today!!
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This is cuteness overload
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Riiiigggght??? Little JB is a little sick I’m a tad worried about him. But he is in good hands and I am praying he makes it!!! When he frowns my heart just melts hehe
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Hi team! Checking in at…
3 days and 45 minutes!!!
Next goal is my first clean week! I’m not going to future trip cause I know that’s bad. But I can “Just for Today” for day four. That’s my focus. I have a plan for tomorrow!
I am feeling quite emotional and I feel a little bit crazy and manic. Like full of just…mojo! It’s kind of unnerving, not gna lie. But hey, I needa see where this journey takes me. And I need to see what I’m dealing with in order to accept the things I cannot change and have the courage to do something about the things I can…I’m sure the wisdom will come with the “rinse and repeat” cycle of this journey.
Today I swam with my friends in a pool, I did some work at the hedgehogs, my wrists are on fire but not as bad as expected. I taught my friend what to do and how to care for little Bean. I spent real quality time in an loving environment. My friend’s 14 year old said to me, “You’re a good friend to my mum. All my mums friends have just disappeared and never took the time to know us, but you do…its cool.” Then her dad picked her up and as she drove off she screamed, “Love you so much Stacey” out the window as she drove passed …I yelled “I love you too darling” and waved at her. I had a real moment of realization.
This is what I’m choosing over using.
Is it worth it?..
Damn straight it is!!! 
Here is to another night sober! Keep at it sober soldiers! All my love!
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It is amazing how fast you start to seek connection in the real world when you are getting through the storm
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You know, sometimes I wonder if all the chaos makes me appreciate smaller things more than I would, had I not seen darkness first.
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Congratulations Stacey.
You made this day count.
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Yes sir I did…and with a smile…and est of all…
Sober!
Thank you for all your support. I couldnt do it without you. You havent given up on me and that makes my attempt so worthwhile in itself.
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Excellent attitude Jonathan, well done 
@Jonachav123
Be strong and face this enemy like it is, an enemy that would like to defeat you but will never if you persevere like this.
Proud of you 
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That is so beautiful Stacey, and it shows what a lovely person you are - you gave time, help and affection to others and you were much appreciated - that’s so awesome.
I hope you can make opportunities like that each day and you’ll soon ‘inflate’ your sense of purpose and well being.
You are important, you are loved - you are the only Stacey @Swam there is
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This is the $64K question we all face (see https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/the+sixty-four-thousand-dollar+question)
This is where “talking therapy” counselling can be really helpful. I waited 2 years for specialist group therapy on NHS which helped a bit + about 6 years psychotherapy on and off. Some issues have been dealt with and I continue to gain some understanding of who I am and why I act / behave like I do… But there have been horrible dark days of misery and despair (mostly self-pity, stuck in victim mode).
In the final analysis however, I don’t think we will ever answer the question completely. As a Christian believer you have the encouragement of (hopefully) a supportive community with a few folks who know what going through. Then you have Scripture with the biographies of people who struggled with adversity and persevered by faith; you have prayers like Psalm 25, 27, 80, 121; you have the comforting words of Jesus himself e.g. “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage - I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33 NET trans).
Some of us have deep emotional and psychological wounds from childhood, from adolescence from trauma etc etc and I think we’ll all agree: “It’s complicated”… 
Our soul needs to find rest, our mind needs to find an equilibrium and our bodies (neural pathways especially) need time to heal, or at least improve a little. We get help when we realize we need it, then ask for it then submit to the process.
Personally I’m still on the Road to Recovery after nearly 5 decades of ups and downs, sometimes well off the rails and well out of control, but currently in a better place thankfully.
How good is it to walk together, weep together and celebrate together? Thanks to all who are contributing here in this amazing family 
P. S. Apologies for long - winded musings!
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I had fun at my company’s winter party last saturday! During the reception I got some cravings because 98% of all the people there were drinking champagne or beer. I stood there with some orange juice…
but as the evening went by the people around me became more and more drunk. I laughed so many times with them. Doing stupid drunk people things…
I don’t know if it’s good or bad but in those moments (and yesterday and today) I felt strong. Like I had my complete fresh brain. As soon as I felt that my cravings and thoughts of cold beer vanished…
Am I making sense? Did anyone else ever had that?
I found out at work today that some of those drunken co workers of mine barely remembered what happend last saturday night. And woke up realt hungover…
This is day 12 for me. Somehowe last saturday night made me stronger.
Thanks for reading my long ass text!!
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Checking in:
Hi team,
Another sober day on the go. I am totally shattered, couldnt sleep til 4am, had some handyman banging around outside at 8.30am so i didnt get much sleep. My baby Bean didnt make it…so theres that…I have a serious “talk” coming up later.
But, I am grateful to God for another sober day, I’m grateful for sharing the load of losing Bean with a friend, I did some bible study, I’m grateful I saw a friend from church for coffee, and I get to have dinner tonight at a different friends house.
Today is a sad day, but it’s a sober day, and a day filled with as much joy, if not more, as grief and sadness.
I hope you are all having a fantastic day!
All my love
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I was catching up on your thread Stacey and I fell in love with little adorable Bean. And I’m so excited with how well you’re doing. But then I read Bean didn’t make it and my heart sank. Very sad for that liitle fella. My heart goes out to you. You’re such a good person and congrats on almost 4 days. You’re doing amazing, keep up the hard work. Sending you hugs
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