So I am using this thread as a daily accountability check for myself. Feel free to join me.
But made my first whole day sober after 2 years of hitting the bars after work or just because.
Super big bonus points for myself especially considering I went to a concert last night and I’ll actually remember all of it! Concerts have always been a super weak point for me since I am a social drinker.
I am hoping to continue this, but I am super worried about tonight because it is my first night back to work, and drinking is what we do as a work family when we all finish up. I am strong enough to not need alcohol, but I know the urge of wanting to drink is going to be really strong, especially being in the restaurant industry.
Well, welcome to TS @Fondave ! Where do you work that drinking is encouraged on the clock? You say you’re strong enough to not need alcohol; are you more concerned about the peer pressures? We all get urges, but if it’s something you really want, you have to tell yourself no.
It’s not that it’s encouraged to drink when on the clock, it’s once we all clock out that we all hit up a bar and hangout. It’s part of the culture of working in the service industry. After 10 years of it, it will be hard to reprogram that mentality of, “I worked hard tonight and I DESERVE that cocktail/beer/shot”
And yes, part of the worry is peer pressure, another part is just getting over the mental hump I described above. Mostly I am just here venting what I am processing mentally.
No I get it. I’m sure all of us struggled with the same thing. You just have to decide if you’re going to take you life back from alcohol, or if you’re going to let alcohol take your life from you. Easier said than done sometimes, but the important things is that you try.
I understand what you mean. Maybe it’s smart to not join them in the beginning of your recovery? Just go home after work?
When your sober days built up and you are stronger you can think about joining them again (or not). The first months I didn’t went to alcohol related events. I knew if I would go there was a chance I would drink.
I’ve been in the service industry for 14 years. The only reason I ever went drinking after work was because I made the choice to. I stopped drinking and using drugs 306 days ago and have not felt any cultural responsibility to drink or use drugs again yet.
My advice would really be to get away from this idea of ‘its the culture’ - its not the culture at all, its a decision we make when we’re in the locker room after shift. You’re there to work, end of. If its going to affect your sobriety, maybe its best not to take the job.
A little bit of a derailement but an old acquaintance of mine used to say he was a chef, worked in a large pub kitchen as head chef. He used to get right off it during work, sometimes on ecstacy. I was like wtf are you playing at. I would have hated to have a meal cooked by him.
I’ve worked bar shifts on ecstacy a few times. It was really hard work. I’d never have to think twice about using cocaine at work whether it was bar or kitchen - everyone was on it, especially on the bar.
Nowadays, my tolerence is 0. If I catch anyone in the kitchen under the influence, i’ll escort them off site there and then.
I don’t blame you. I know drugs are rampant in some kitchens. I remember watching a programme about Coke use in the UK hosted by gorden Ramsey. I think he was spurred on to making it as a good friend and chef of his died a cocaine related death.
On that note I liken getting in to sobriety/recovery to a kitchen nightmares episode. At first we kick and scream, get annoyed until we are ready and then listen with open ears and complete admiration as we finally want what they have😂
Except in a real kitchen, you never get what you want lol
Gordon Ramsay’s brother Ronnie is also a lifelong heroin addict. He has a chapter about him in his autobiography which details what life was like with him.
Yeah I knew his brother had addiction issues as he’s pretty open about it, I wasn’t sure of the specifics.
He’s started a new programme called Gordon Ramsey unchartered. I havn’t seen any of it, think there’s only one episode atm which is in Peru. I would imagine that he’s going round checking out and cooking local foods. Keep us posted if you go as sous chef in this new kitchen, I hope it works out well for you:+1:
Go for it from what I’ve seen your definitely due a good work situation and helping build a new kitchen team even if just the two of you can only be beneficial to your career.
Yeah he gets on my tits nowadays
I agree with what you’re saying. And I am not blaming the culture, I take full responsibility for my actions and drinking each night is a choice I made for myself. It’s just easy to fall into that trap.
I really felt anxious about if I would be able to hold myself to this, especially considering how slow it was, and that it would make me want to drink about it. Last night, when I got done work I still had the mentality of, I am going to sit at the bar and hangout with the coworkers, because it is a great way to decompress and get back to normal. However; tonight when I sat my butt in that bar stool and the bartender asked me what I wanted, and I felt no anxiety. That need for my coveted vodka soda was not there, and instead I just got a soda water with a lemon and lime. And to be honest I enjoyed myself as much as I would have on a normal, “let’s get drunk Dave”, kind of night.
So night one back at work down, on to the next one.
That’s great please just be wary, maybe not the next time your sat there or the time after that but there may well be a time you are sat there and and get sudden intense cravings. I’m not trying to say that your not strong enough to turn down drinks but you may find it useful to have a look through some threads on here. If you search sober wedding or going out sober you will find loads of tips and tricks that people on here with solid sobriety have recommended to others. Most people who asked found them very useful and it’s just things like airways have a soft drink or water in your hand, have a reason ready for which you are not drinking, have an exit strategy or having your phone handy so if needed you can nip to the bathroom and pop on here. Also a great man on here always says never crave alone, share on here if the voice in your head is telling you it’s ok to have just one etc.
Again I’m not doubting your commitment to this, I say it as I know some solid people have tripped before now when in those types of situations and are hit with an unexpected craving straight out of leftfield.
I’m glad today went well for you
I have worked in the business for 35 yrs. It is extremely hard when u rvi recovery I tried soooooo many times because I loved what u did so much. But I finally released when I could do it it any longer. I am 25 days sober today and I now know that I can’t put my self in that situation yet or maybe forever again. Another choice I have to make in the future I wish u the best lu6and stay strong! “One day at a time”
Keep us posted if you go as sous chef in this new kitchen, I hope it works out well for you:+1:
