So I’m on day 4, and I’ve been tryna avoid having to come on here because I guess it’s annoying. Not the app, the fact I have to do this again. I know everyone says atleast your getting up again. And j know that’s something, but a part of me is really frustrated that I allowed myself to become an addict. Where I need to check in all the time to remind myself to be sober. I’m craving. Mentally. A break from things. But maybe God is giving me a chance to rely on Him more. Endure the waiting period gracefully, rather than getting wasted. I’m tryna stay positive. Today was a great day I dont even know why I have a sudden. I’ll check in each day. Part of me is forcing myself to do it. And part of me resents myself for having to do it. But there it is…DAY 4 checked in. Catch yal tomorrow x​:woman_facepalming:
Generally when people feel forced to do something they fail. You shouldn’t have picked up again but you did and your back, staying away from here isn’t going to help you out it will only be counterproductive. There’s over twenty thousand members of this site and millions of addicts worldwide which suggests to me that it’s all to easy to unwittingly become an addict being frustrated will also not help your cause. If AA and NA lost a member everyone that person has a slip or relapse then those rooms would be pretty damn empty
Its no one else forcing me. It’s me forcing myself. The part of me that knows it’s good for me. That it will help me and help others maybe to share my tale again. But the other part of me feels like a brat throwing a tantrum right now.
You have a choice and you choose to be sober and be here. Which is positive. Congrats on that. You choose life over addiction. A huge positive IMHO. We all are where we are. No use dwelling too much on it because we must move forward. Which you are. Another positive. It is not true that you MUST do it. You do it. Happy you are here.
Ahhh dah Stacey! Thank you heaps. It helps not being alone for sure. And I cam just rant on here when the urges come I guess. It’s just so hard…I mean over done it before, it shouldnt be hard…maybe that’s why it’s hard…but IT SUCKS having to acknowledge what I am. An addict. I hate it.
All these abbreviations that the kids are using these days so my head right in. I mean what the hell does smh mean. I refuse to Google them to find out anymore.
Keep coming Stacey! It only have to click in once! If you understand what I mean. Like apply for a job: you have to write many letters to finally get that nr 1 job! So don’t give up and be here every day, it helps!!
Today I dont feel like dirt. And I am hopeful for a future. Anxious about messing things up. But I trust God. I mean I dont always. I cant trust perfectly. But deep down I do trust him. Day 5. And I think I’m okay today. I’ve been so tempted. Like the idea is like HEEEEY COME COME COME COME in my brain. But I didnt give in so praise God. I’m about worried I need to go pick up some stuff from my old house. I dont want to fall again. Please prayers anyone who is willing.
If AA and NA lost a member everyone that person has a slip or relapse then those rooms would be pretty damn empty
