I’m grateful to be home from another successful crab trip.
Skipper thought that it’s pretty cool that I bought the Keta. I figured he would. He isn’t going to be hard to work with because I’m going to sail on my own way soon. I’m grateful. If anything He will be easier to work with because he wants me to finish the season.
We will be running partners. We will fish the same areas keep each other updated on what’s working, and where the bite is. If I find the fish, I let him know, and visa versa. I’ll have someone I know and trust if I get in trouble out there and need help.
Even though it hasn’t been comfortable for me alot of the time since he started drinking again. I’m glad I was able to keep fishing with him. I almost quit to protect my sobriety. We fished alot this year. He is an amazingly talented fisherman. I learned alot from him. I’m grateful for the experience.
Most guys don’t want to teach you. He did. I’m a better fisherman because of him. I’m grateful.
I’m grateful for the time I spent on the prison ship. Even though that job was miserable 95 percent of the time. It was my first time spending days/weeks at sea in all conditions. I made every mistake a guy can make on a boat like that. He screamed at me and belittled me, but it made me never do it again. It made me never forgot what not to do. I learned alot. I’m grateful.
Yesterday while we were on he water, I felt confidant based on my experience. I don’t have to go in bad weather, but if I end up in it. I know what to do. I’m grateful!
Matt took the boat thing really bad. He was cold and distant to me all day, except when we’re were running gear. He was professional. We worked together like normal. We still clicked and got the job done. I’m grateful.
I’m grateful to be sober. The drunken sailor version of me wouldn’t have kept his mouth shut today and given him space.
I would have said something, probably alot of somethings and it would have escalated into a screaming match on the boat, possibly worse.
I told him this isn’t personal. He is making it personal. He didn’t want to listen to anything I had to say about it, so I quit talking about it and just did my job. That’s a gift of recovery.
I would have drank at him after work and ended up sending a shitty text and it would have most likely lead to a physical altercation. If he was still drinking we would have fought for sure. I’m grateful for sobriety.
I got in fights alot as a drunk because I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut. I’m mean and I say mean things. I pick on people’s weaknesses. I belittle people and rip them to shreds with my words. I’m grateful to not do that anymore.
I had a good day today. I didn’t let Matt ruin my day. As a drunk, I had zero control over my emotions. I got angry easily and I coudnt stop once it started.
I would dwell on the past. Things that made me angry 10 years ago made me angry today and I have sent shitty texts to people over things that happened years ago. Or worse. I might go post something on Facebook about it. I wake up to the aftermath of shitty texts back, or my Facebook post would have blown up and I wouldn’t remember doing it.
Facebook reminds me with memories it saves. They are so cringey. I’m grateful I don’t wake up to that anymore.
I was really good at making an ass out of myself as a drunk. I’m grateful for sobriety.
In recovery I make a conscious effort to not drag the past into the present. It’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s really hard. I feel like I’ve been getting better at it. I’m grateful for that.
We caught another 2500 pounds of crab today. The ocean was beautiful! Finishing this season is going to be easy.
I have two days off. Today the weather is horrible. Tomorrow looks like I can do some work to my boat. I’m grateful! Today, I’ll work on videos. Life is good!
I hope you are getting some rest 
