It a beautiful day, Im sober, the bills are payed for the month! I am grateful!
There a men’s meeting tonight. I’m excited to go. There has never been a men’s meeting here before. There has always been a woman’s meeting. Sometimes I have had a rare day off, unable to go because it’s a woman’s meeting. It pretty cool that I can go tonight. It’s even cooler that I’m looking forward to it. I’m grateful.
I’ve been sponsorless most of the time. I had a temporary sponsor in Utah and as I got to know him better. I learned he didn’t really have what I want. He invited a female newcomer along on some step work we were doing.
Once I figured out he was 13th stepping on her. I lost respect. When he was clearly distraught after she stood him up to meet us at the meeting after our step work, I ditched him.
I’ve met a new candidate.
I have huge trust issues, with alot of experience in recovery. I’ve invested into the wrong sponsor before.
My first one. He relapsed. I ended up being his sponsor more than he was mine. He stabbed me in the back later on too. I became unwilling to have a sponsor.
I’ve had alot of good mentors along the way. I’m grateful for them.
Being willing to try an official sponsor shows signs of growth for me. Trust issues protect me, but they also isolate me. I’ve been in isolation mode lately. The less I interact with people the less I want to. Social anxiety almost stopped me from going to the meeting on Monday. I can’t be of service if I’m isolated. I need to be of service and give away what I have to others. Because it helps me. I’m grateful I have experience, strength and hope to give away today.
I put my phone number on the homegroup list the other night. Reluctantly. Today, I’m grateful I did. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Making myself more available to recovery I wouldn’t hesitate to answer the phone if somebody wanted to go to the bar as a drunk. I should be the same way in recovery. As they say. If you put as much effort into recovery as you did into feeding your addictions, your chances of success are good.
I want to be successful at staying sober. Long term recovery is the goal. That is a change in thinking that I’m grateful for too. I did not feel that way three years ago.
I used to be very social. Sober. I want that back.
I didn’t want to die a lonely old drunk. I don’t want to die a lonely old sober guy either.
I’ve made alot of changes and I’m still making them. I’m grateful for the willingness to keep changing.