Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

June 10~Keep It Simple

Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.—Clementine Pappleford
At meetings, we meet people who have what we want. Our old way is to think these people are better or luckier than us. Our old way is to wish we were like them. But our program tells us how to work to
change, not just wish for it. There is a big difference!

There are many ways to work for recovery. We practice the Steps. We attend meetings, and we help out at meetings. We welcome new members. We call our sponsor often. And we sponsor others when we’re ready. It takes more than a wishbone. It takes courage and hard work, with the help of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that wishing is lost energy. I must work at recovery. As
I do today’s work, guide me.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll do an extra bit of work on my recovery. I’ll call a group member. I’ll read.
I’ll spend extra time in prayer and meditation.

[MandiH]

June 11~Daily Reflections

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

. . . a spiritual life which does not include. . . family obligations may not be so perfect after all.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129

I can be doing great in the program — applying it at meetings, at work, and in service activities — and find that things have gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand, but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress, but they don’t — unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs and desires for my attention and concern? When I’m around them, am I irritable or boring? Are my “amends” a mumbled “Sorry,” or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I preach to them, trying to reform or “fix” them? Have I ever really cleaned house with them? “The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it”(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83).

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

June 11~Language Of Letting Go

Moving Forward

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don’t have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don’t need to suffer with them.

It doesn’t help.

It doesn’t help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.

Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We’re accountable for ourselves. They’re accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

[MandiH]

June 11~Keep It Simple

Who is the bravest hero? He who turns his enemy into a friend. — Hebrew Proverb

In recovery we take our worst enemy, addiction, and turn it around. We were ashamed of our addiction.
Over time we become proud of our recovery. We were our own worst enemy. Now we’re our own best
friend. We are brave people.

Being brave is about facing our fears. Often we think brave people don’t get afraid, but this isn’t true.
Brave people learn to stay put, even when their knees are shaking. Many times in recovery, we will want to run when we should stay put. We may even think about using chemicals again.

We need to remember our bravery and how we turned our worst enemy into a friend.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me when to run and when to stay put. Help me be brave.

Action for the Day: I will claim bravery today. I’ll hold my head up high and be proud of how far I’ve come. I now have nothing to be ashamed of.

[MandiH]

Oof, this last one hit me HARD today!

The bravest thing I ever did was get sober and work the steps. Just getting sober wasn’t enough. I needed to be brave and do that inner work. To let others in. To begin getting rid of that guilt, shame and remorse.

The things I was once ashamed of are now honestly my biggest blessings. For example, had I never realized I was an alcoholic, I never would have found this program of recovery that’s changed my entire life. It truly has come full circle in my heart to become my friend instead of something to be ashamed of.

This one makes me teary this morning, it sure hits the heart strings! I am grateful, so effing grateful, to be a recovering alcoholic.

[Lisa07]

That last one touched me too. I remember early days in meetings when people would introduce themselves as a “grateful recovering alcoholic”. I was like why the f**k do these people feel grateful to be an alcoholic? Now, I know what they mean. If it weren’t for this disease, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to better myself and become a woman of grace and dignity. What a blessing!

[MandiH]

Amen! I keep meaning to introduce myself as a grateful recovering alcoholic but out of habit alcoholic just comes out. I also attend a few other meetings so it’d be easier to have one title. Maybe I’ll find it easier to change them all to grateful recovering person for them all.

[MandiH]

June 12~Daily Reflections

FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into my sober life! In my sobriety I will meditate and pray to discover how I may be a trusted friend and companion.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

June 12~Language Of Letting Go

Spontaneity and Fun

Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun.

The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don’t have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like.

Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation. One of the “normal” experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun. Another one is being spontaneous. We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun. And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn’t allow ourselves to try something fun, anyway.

We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don’t have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Try some new activities. What would we like to do? What might we enjoy doing? Then, take another risk. Pick out a movie we’d like to see; call a friend, and invite him or her to go along. If that person says no, try someone else, or try again another time.

Decide to try something, then go through with it. Go once. Go twice. Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.

Today, I will do something just for fun. I will practice having fun until I actually enjoy it.

[MandiH]

June 12~Today’s Gift

The more a diamond is cut, the more it sparkles. --Anonymous

There is something of value to be found even in the worst of things. Consider the oyster. When a grain of sand penetrates an oyster’s shell, it irritates the oyster, making it uncomfortable. The oyster relieves the pain by coating the sand with a soothing liquid. When this liquid hardens, a pearl is formed. The very process that healed the oyster creates a precious jewel for others to cherish and admire.

The way in which we deal with our own frustrations–painful though they may be–can make a difference.

Pearls can be formed from our experiences, making us wiser and stronger, or grains of sand–anger, bitterness, resentment–can remain imbedded inside us. The choice is ours.

How can I turn my irritations into pearls today?

[MandiH]

June 12~ A Day At A Time

Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. In my own case, during the early
days in The Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and
too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as The Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul-searching and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken, and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt. Have I made amends to myself?

Today I Pray
May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging onto an old satchel full of
guilt, then I am to following the example He has shown me. If God can forgive me - and He has demonstrated His forgiveness by leading me to this healing place - then so can I. May I not begrudge
myself what He has so generously offered.

Today I Will Remember

God forgives; so must I.

[MandiH]

June 13~Daily Reflections

LIVING OUR AMENDS

“Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.”
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 122

It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not only hurt myself, but also those around me. Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong endeavor. The example of my sobriety may give others hope, and faith to help themselves.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

June 13~Language of Letting Go

Hanging on to Old Relationships

We want to travel baggage-free on this journey. It makes the trip easier.

Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger; resentments; feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.

If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go-around with that lesson before we are ready to move on.

We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?

Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago?

It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.

We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today.

Let go of your baggage from past relationships.

Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.

[MandiH]

June 14~Daily Reflections

WHEN THE GOING GETS ROUGH

It is a design for living that works in rough going.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 15

When I came to A.A., I realized that A.A. worked wonderfully to help keep me sober. But could it work on real life problems, not concerned with drinking? I had my doubts. After being sober for more than two years I got my answer. I lost my job, developed physical problems, my diabetic father lost a leg, and someone I loved left me for another — and all of this happened during a two-week period. Reality crashed in, yet A.A. was there to support, comfort, and strengthen me. The principles I had learned during my early days of sobriety became a mainstay of my life, for not only did I come through, but I never stopped being able to help newcomers. A.A. taught me not to be overwhelmed, but rather to accept and understand my life as it unfolded.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

June 14~Language Of Letting Go

Letting Go of Timing

When the time is right, child. When the time is right. How often have we heard those words—from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?

We want things so badly—that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don’t hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we’ll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

Be happy now.

Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.

[MandiH]

June 14~Today’s Gift

Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --J. H. Newman

Our fears lock us up if we let them. They can prevent us from tasting adventure, from experiencing new
wonders. We are often terrified of unknowns and fret about what might happen if we try something new.
We worry if new people will like us–if we’ll fit in.

It is natural to be cautious about the unknown, and anything new is just that. But we can keep our caution from becoming fear by taking action, with the faith that we never encounter anything we can’t handle in some way.

Unknowns are merely joys we haven’t met. We hold the keys to our own cages and can free ourselves
when we use our courage and inner strength to overcome our fears.

What new joy can I discover beneath my fear today?

[MandiH]

June 15~Daily Reflections

MAKING A.A. YOUR HIGHER POWER

“. . .You can . . . make A.A. itself your ‘higher power.’ Here’s a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. . . . many members . . . have crossed the threshold just this way. . . . their faith broadened and deepened. . . . transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power. . . .”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 27-28

No one was greater than I, at least in my eyes, when I was drinking. Nevertheless, I couldn’t smile at myself in the mirror, so I came to A.A. where, with others, I heard talk of a Higher Power. I couldn’t accept the concept of a Higher Power because I believed God was cruel and unloving. In desperation I chose a table, a tree, then my A.A. group, as my Higher Power. Time passed, my life improved, and I began to wonder about this Higher Power. Gradually, with patience, humility and a lot of questions, I came to believe in God. Now my relationship with my Higher Power gives me the strength to live a happy, sober life.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

June 15~Language Of Letting Go

Competition between Martyrs

“Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that’s different. That’s worse!”

My pain is greater than yours!

What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what a tremendous martyr we are. And we won’t be happy until we do!

We don’t need to prove our pain and suffering to anyone. We know we have been in pain. We know we have suffered. Most of us have been legitimately victimized. Many of us have had difficult, painful lessons to learn.

The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others.

If someone begins trying to prove to us how much he or she hurts, we can say simply, “It sounds like you’ve been hurt.” Maybe all that person is looking for is validation of his or her pain.

If we find ourselves trying to prove to someone how much we’ve been hurt or if we try to top someone else’s pain, we may want to stop and figure out what’s going on. Do we need to recognize how much we’ve hurt or are hurting?

There is no particular award or reward for suffering, as many of us tricked ourselves into believing in the height of our codependency. The reward is learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace, and fulfillment.

That is the gift of recovery, and it is equally available to each of us, even if our pain was greater, or less, than someone else’s.

God, help me be grateful for all my lessons, even the ones that caused me the most pain and suffering. Help me learn what I need to learn, so I can stop the pain in my life. Help me focus on the goal of recovery, rather than the pain that motivated me into it.

[MandiH]

June 15~Walk In Dry Places

Keeping Sobriety Rolling

Continuing to Follow

A child learning to ride a bicycle discovers that it only takes gentle pedaling to keep the bike in motion.

The more difficult task was getting on the bike and maintaining a straight course in the right direction.
Staying sober in AA seems to be the same kind of thing.

It may take a lot of effort and self-honesty to
establish sobriety, but a routine of simple steps can keep it going on a daily basis. For most people, daily
meditations and regular attendance at meetings are enough to maintain a straight course in the right
direction.

The danger comes when we become too lazy or careless to take even these simple steps. Then, like a bike losing forward momentum, they can wobble and fall.

Even at the point of wobbling, one can get a bike up to speed again and gain stability. This is something
to remember if we find our own sobriety becoming wobbly.

Nothing can be so important today that it keeps me from doing the simple things needed for continuous
sobriety. I’ll remember the bike.

[RoseCityRonin]