Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

Motivation
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August 2~NA Just For Today

Practicing Honesty

“When we feel trapped or pressured, it takes great spiritual and emotional strength to be honest.”
Basic Text, p.81

Many of us try to wiggle out of a difficult spot by being dishonest, only to have to humble ourselves later and tell the truth. Some of us twist our stories as a matter of course, even when we could just as easily tell the plain truth. Every time we try to avoid being honest, it backfires on us. Honesty may be
uncomfortable, but the trouble we have to endure when we are dishonest is usually far worse than the
discomfort of telling the truth.

Honesty is one of the fundamental principles of recovery. We apply this principle right from the
beginning of our recovery when we finally admit our powerlessness and unmanageability. We continue to
apply the principle of honesty each time we are faced with the option of either living in fantasy or living life on its own terms.

Learning to be honest isn’t always easy, especially after the covering up and deception so many of us practiced in our addiction. Our voices may shake as we test our newfound honesty. But before long, the sound of the truth coming from our own mouths settles any doubts: Honesty feels good! It’s easier living the truth than living a lie.

Just for today: I will honestly embrace life, with all its pressures and demands. I will practice honesty,
even when it is awkward to do so. Honesty will help, not hurt, my efforts to live clean and recover.

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This passage spoke to me. When creating my gratitude list sometimes I am sarcastic with myself and am grateful for bad stuff happening. It always makes me feel better. It does turn negative into positive. Thank you for sharing!

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August 3~Daily Reflections

. . . TO BE OF SERVICE

Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 77

It is clear that God’s plan for me is expressed through love. God loved me enough to take me from alleys and jails so that I could be made a useful participant in His world. My response is to love all of His children through service and by example. I ask God to help me imitate His love for me through my love for others.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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August 3~Language Of Letting Go

Owning Our Power in Relationships

So much of what I call my codependency is fear and panic because I spent so much of my life feeling abused, trapped, and not knowing how to take care of myself in relationships.

— ANONYMOUS

No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.

When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call “the codependent crazies.” We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.

We don’t have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don’t have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.

Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This is what recovery means. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.

The thought of doing this may generate fears. That’s normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.

Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.

Today, I will focus on owning my power to take care of myself. I will not let fears, or a false sense of shame and guilt, stop me from taking care of myself.

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August 3~Walk In Dry Places

Watch out for peer pressure

Maintaining Sobriety

It’s said that peer pressure often draws young people into alcoholism and drug addition. As adults
following a recovery program, we also are susceptible to peer pressure.

At a cocktail reception, for example, some people may express mild pity that we’re having “only soft
drinks,” as if we’re doing a form of penance. Or they may express exaggerated admiration for our success in recovery. Even this can make us feel different.

We need not be critical of such reactions. The fact is that we are somewhat different when we’re staying
sober in situations where excessive drinking is normal.

We should not, however, make this our problem if others draw attention to it. This is peer pressure, but
we should be mature enough to dismiss it.

Whatever situation I’m in today, if I know I’m on the right path, I’ll not be swayed by the opinions and
comments of others. Their opinions cannot affect me if I know I’m doing the right thing.

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August 3~Keep It Simple

Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.—Joyce Rebeta-Burditt

One of the biggest lies addicts can tell themselves is, “I’m not hurting anyone but myself.”

This is just another way we don’t see how important we are to others.

During our using, love was a burden. When anyone showed love for us, we turned away. They hurt. And
we hurt.

In recovery, when ready, we try and help our families heal. We listen as they speak of how our illness has
hurt them. We comfort them as they tell their stories. Remember, our illness hurt them. Remember, our recovery will help them heal.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me face the pain my illness has brought to others. Let me know
their pain.Let it help me stay sober.

Action for the Day: I will list all persons my illness has hurt. I will say a prayer for them, even if they
have harmed me.

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August 3~NA Just For Today

Trusting People

“Many of us would have had nowhere else to go if we could not have trusted NA groups and members.”
Basic Text, p.81

Trusting people is a risk. Human beings are notoriously forgetful, unreliable, and imperfect. Most of us come from backgrounds where betrayal and insensitivity among friends were common occurrences. Even our most reliable friends weren’t very reliable. By the time we arrive at the doors of NA, most of us have hundreds of experiences bearing out our conviction that people are untrustworthy.

Yet our recovery demands that we trust people. We are faced with this dilemma: People are not always trustworthy, yet we must trust them. How do we do that, given the evidence of our pasts?

First, we remind ourselves that the rules of active addiction don’t apply in recovery. Most of our fellow
members are doing their level best to live by the spiritual principles we learn in the program.

Second, we remind ourselves that we aren’t 100% reliable, either. We will surely disappoint someone in our lives, no matter how hard we try not to. Third, and most importantly, we realize that we need to trust our fellow members of NA.

Our lives are at stake, and the only way we can stay clean is to trust these well intentioned folks who, admittedly, aren’t perfect.

Just for today: I will trust my fellow members. Though certainly not perfect, they are my best hope.

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August 4~Daily Reflections

SEEDS OF FAITH

Faith, to be sure, is necessary, but faith alone can avail nothing. We can have faith, yet keep God out of our lives.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34

As a child I constantly questioned the existence of God. To a “scientific thinker” like me, no answer could withstand a thorough dissection, until a very patient woman finally said to me, “You must have faith.” With that simple statement, the seeds of my recovery were sown!

Today, as I practice my recovery – cutting back the weeds of alcoholism – slowly I am letting those early seeds of faith grow and bloom. Each day of recovery, of ardent gardening, brings the Higher Power of my understanding more fully into my life. My God has always been with me through faith, but it is my responsibility to have the willingness to accept His presence.

I ask God to grant me the willingness to do His will.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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August 4~Language Of Letting Go

Vulnerability

I’ve learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am.

— ANONYMOUS

Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should always be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.

While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side to all of us—that part of us that feels needy becomes frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of us that needs care, love, and reassurance that things will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs our acceptance too.

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible to others.

Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with others when it’s safe and appropriate to do so.

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August 4~Walk In Dry Places

Treating loved ones worse than strangers.

Personal Relations

Some of us grew up with resentments about the way our families treated us. It was confusing to notice
how nice our parents could be toward strangers and then how abruptly they could become abusive toward us.

The best release for this kind of resentment is forgiveness, but we should also ask ourselves if we’re guilty of the same faults. Are we discourteous and inconsiderate toward our own children and family members? Do we apologize when we offend strangers, but not when we hurt our own children?

We should try to treat everyone with fairness and kindness. No family member should be subjuected to our incessant criticism and rudeness. We owe them the same courtesies we extend to strangers.

If I’ve had bad examples of abusive treatment in my own early years, I’ll change the pattern by treating
my own family with fairness and kindness, starting today.

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August 4~Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

Let him that would move the world, first move himself.—Socrates

Before recovery, most of us were big talkers. The Twelve Steps are for doers, not talkers. In the Steps we find action words: admitted, humbly asked, made direct amends, continued to take personal inventory.

All these words speak of action, of doing. Recovery is about action. It’s for doers.

An action may be very simple. Such as going to a meeting early to set up chairs. Or it could be helping a neighbor. The program teaches that spirituality active, we grow and change.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give me movement. Give me spiritual movement. Help me be a doer, not just a talker. Teach me to work my program.

Today’s Action: Today, I’ll remember the words actions go together.

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August 4~Each Day A New Beginning

Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it’s only given to us moment by
moment. --Amelia Barr

Where are our minds right now? Are we focused fully on this meditation? Or are our minds wandering off
to events scheduled for later today or tomorrow perhaps?

The simple truth is that this moment is all God has allowed right now. It’s God’s design that we will live fully each moment, as it comes. Therein lies the
richness of our lives. Each moment contributes to the full pattern that’s uniquely our own.

We must not miss the potential pleasure of any experience because our thoughts are elsewhere. We never know when a particular moment, a certain situation, may be a door to our future.

What we do know is that God often has to work hard getting our attention, perhaps allowing many stumbling blocks in order to get us back on target.

Being in tune with now, this moment, guarantees a direct line of communication to God. It also
guarantees a full, yet simple life. Our purpose becomes clear as we trust our steps to God’s guidance. How terribly complicated we make life by living in the past, the present, and many future times, all at once!

One step, one moment, and then the next step and its moment. How the simple life brings me freedom!

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August 4~NA Just For Today

When Is A Secret Not A Secret?

“Addicts tend to live secret lives… It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past.” Basic Text, p.32

We’ve heard it said that “we’re as sick as our secrets” What do we keep secret, and why?

We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we don’t want to surrender them. Yet if they’re causing us shame, wouldn’t we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them?

Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. It’s not that we don’t want to be rid of them; we just don’t believe we can be rid of them. They’ve plagued us for so long, and we’ve tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that we’ve stopped hoping for relief. Yet still they shame us, and still we keep them secret.

We need to remember who we are: recovering addicts. We who tried so long to keep our drug use a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use. Though many of us enjoyed using right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldn’t stand the toll our using was taking on us.

When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.

The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, we’re as sick as our secrets. Only
when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.

Just for today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my
sponsor about my secrets.

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This moment I have used up all my LIKE privileges! I love the posts here. Thank you for keeping me grounded!

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You are so welcome, we are totally in it together! :heart:

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August 5~Daily Reflections

LISTENING DEEPLY

How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 37

If I accept and act upon the advice of those who have made the program work for themselves, I have a chance to outgrow the limits of the past. Some problems will shrink to nothingness, while others may require patient, well-thought-out action. Listening deeply when others share can develop intuition in handling problems which arise unexpectedly. It is usually best for me to avoid impetuous action. Attending a meeting or calling a fellow A.A. member will usually reduce tension enough to bring relief to a desperate sufferer like me. Sharing problems at meetings with other alcoholics to whom I relate, or privately with my sponsor, can change aspects of the positions in which I find myself. Character defects are identified and I begin to see how they work against me. When I put my faith in the spiritual power of the program, when I trust others to teach me what I need to do to have a better life, I find that I can trust myself to do what is necessary.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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August 5~Language Of Letting Go

Attitudes toward Money

Sometimes, our life and history may be so full of pain that we think it totally unfair that we have to grow up now and be financially responsible for ourselves.

The feeling is understandable; the attitude is not healthy. Many people in recovery may believe that certain people in particular, and life in general, owe them a living after what they’ve been through.

To feel good about ourselves, to find the emotional peace and freedom we’re seeking in recovery, we need healthy boundaries about money—what we give to others, and what we allow ourselves to receive from others.

Do we feel that others owe us money because we cannot take care of ourselves? Do we believe others owe us because we do not have as much money as they do? Do we consciously or subconsciously believe that they “owe” us money because of emotional pain we suffered as a result of our relationship with them or another person?

Punitive damages are awarded in court, but not in recovery.

Unhealthy boundaries about what we allow ourselves to receive from others will not lead to healthy relationships with others or ourselves.

Test by looking within. The key is our attitude. The issue is boundaries about receiving money. Become willing to meet the challenge of taking responsibility for yourself.

Today, I will strive for clear, healthy boundaries about receiving money from others. As part of my recovery, I will take a hard look at my financial history and examine whether I have taken money that may not reflect good boundaries. If I uncover some incidents that reflect less than an attitude of healthy self-responsibility, I will become willing to make amends and develop a reasonable plan to do that.

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August 5~Walk In Dry Places

Can We Fix Other People’s Problems?

Problem Solving

In Twelve Step work, we never run out of people who face serious problems. We’re often tempted to use
our own expertise and resources to fix these problems for others.

This can be a mistake. It is always risky to undertake such assignments without a great deal of thought
and understanding. Such attempts to fix others usually deal only with symptoms rather than causes.
Unless another person is totally helpless, the best course is to share experiences and knowledge with
others, but to leave the problem solving to them.

We should not encourage anyone to become dependent on us, nor should we set ourselves up as godlike individuals who have all the answers. We actually may be showing off instead of helping, and we may also be robbing others of the self-confidence and growth that come from fixing their own problems.

I’ll share my experiences and hope today, while refraining from trying to fix people. I don’t have answers for everybody, and it’s wrong to believe I do.

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August 5~Keep It Simple

You’re only human, you’ve suppose to make mistakes.—Billy Joel

Listen to the kind voice inside. Listen to the voice that tells you you’re good enough. Listen to the voice
that tells you it’s okay to make mistakes—you’ll learn from them. Listen to the voice that tells you to go to
your meeting even though it’s cold outside and you’re tired. Listen and let this voice become more and more clear. Listen, and welcome it in your heart. Talk with the voice.

Ask it questions and seek it out when you need a friend. This voice is your Higher Power. Listen as your Higher Power speaks to you. Listen as your
Higher Power tells you what a great person you are.

Prayer for the Day: I pray to the gentle, loving voice that lives in me. Higher Power, You’ve always been
kind to me.You’ve always loved me. Help me to remember You’re always there—inside me.

Action for the Day: I will take time from my busy day to listen and talk with the loving voice that lives
inside me.

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August 5~Each Day A New Beginning

The bottom line is that I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices and
decisions I make regarding my life directly influence the quality of my days. --Kathleen Andrus

There is no provision for blaming others in our lives. Who we are is a composite of the actions, attitudes,
choices, decisions we’ve made up to now.

For many of us, predicaments may have resulted from our decisions to not act when the opportunity arose. But these were decisions, no less, and we must take responsibility for making them.

We need not feel utterly powerless and helpless about the events of our lives. True, we cannot control others, and we cannot curb the momentum of a situation, but we can choose our own responses to both; these choices will heighten our sense of self and well-being and may well positively influence the quality of the day.

I will accept responsibility for my actions, but not for the outcome of a situation; that is all that’s requested of me. It is one of the assignments of life, and homework is forthcoming.

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