Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

November 16~NA Just For Today

Alone No More

“We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the
mainstream of life.”~Basic Text p. 35

Many of us spent much of our using time alone, avoiding other people - especially people who were not using - at all costs.

After years of isolation, trying to find a place for ourselves in a bustling, sometimes boisterous fellowship is not always easy.

We may still feel isolated, focusing on our differences rather than our similarities.

The overwhelming feelings that often arise in early recovery-feelings of fear, anger, and mistrust-can also keep us isolated. We may feel like aliens but we must remember, the alienation is ours, not NA’s.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are offered a very special opportunity for friendship.

We are brought together with people who understand us like no one else can. We are encouraged to share with these people our feelings, our problems, our triumphs, and our failures.

Slowly, the recognition and identification we find in NA bridge the lonely gap of alienation in our hearts. As we’ve heard it said - the program works, if we let it.

Just for today: The friendship of other members of the fellowship is a life-sustaining gift. I will reach out
for the friendship that’s offered in NA, and accept it.

[MandiH]

November 17~Daily Reflections

OVERCOMING LONELINESS

Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 90

The agonies and the void that I often felt inside occur less and less frequently in my life today. I have learned to cope with solitude. It is only when I am alone and calm that I am able to communicate with God, for He cannot reach me when I am in turmoil. It is good to maintain contact with God at all times, but it is absolutely essential that, when everything seems to go wrong, I maintain that contact through prayer and meditation.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

November 17~Language Of Letting Go

Grief and Action

Trust in God and do something.

— MARY LYON

It’s important to let ourselves grieve as a passage between yesterday and tomorrow. But we do not have to be controlled unduly by our grief, or our pain.

There are times when we have grieved, surrendered to the heaviness, tiredness, and weariness of a circumstance long enough. It becomes time to break out. It comes time to take action.

We will know when it’s time to break the routine of grieving. There will be signs within and around us. We will become tired of the heaviness. An idea will occur; an opportunity will present itself. We may think: No. Too much effort. . . . Do it anyway. Try something. Reach out. Stretch. Do something unusual, something different, something special.

A new activity may help trigger the transformation process. Stay up two hours later than usual! Make an appointment to do something for yourself that is different from what you usually do. Visit someone you haven’t seen in years. Do something to encourage and help the new energy coming your way.

We may not feel like breaking out of grief. It may feel safer, easier, to remain in our cocoon. Begin pushing out anyway.

Test the walls of your cocoon. Push. Push a little harder. It may be time to emerge.

Today, I will trust God and the process, but I will also take action to help myself feel better.

[MandiH]

November 17~Walk In Dry Places

Walk In Dry Places

Are we doing well enough?

Success

Sometimes we can get off the track by mixing AA with the world’s ideas of success.

In AA, success means staying sober while using the AA principles in our daily affairs. We can be
successful people in all walks of life.

We should never think that a person is unsuccessful merely because he or she holds a low-paying job or
has not regained any business or professional stature that has been lost.

One of our members, for example, had once been the senior member of a lucrative law partnership before drinking himself into the gutter.

In his sober years, he found great satisfaction in a relatively low- paying judgeship. In worldly
terms, he could be seen as less successful. In AA terms, however, this period was the truly successful
part of his life.

Our Higher Power will show us where our place in life should be. That should be success enough for any of us.

I’ll do my best today in whatever job I have, grateful for the sobriety that helps me stay self-supporting
and happy.

[MandiH]

November 19~Daily Reflections

“I WAS SLIPPING FAST”

We A.A.'s are active folk, enjoying the satisfactions
of dealing with the realities of life, . . . . So it isn’t surprising that we often tend to slight serious
meditation and prayer as something not really necessary. ~TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 96

I had been slipping away from the program for some time, but it took a death threat from a terminal
disease to bring me back, and particularly to the practice of the Eleventh Step of our blessed Fellowship.

Although I had fifteen years of sobriety and was still very active in the program, I knew that the quality of my sobriety had slipped badly.

Eighteen months later, a checkup revealed a malignant tumor and a prognosis of certain death within six months.

Despair settled in when I enrolled in a rehab program, after which I suffered two small strokes which revealed two large brain tumors.

As I kept hitting new bottoms I had to ask myself why this was happening to me.

God allowed me to recognize my dishonesty and to become teachable again. Miracles began to happen. But primarily I relearned the whole meaning of the Eleventh Step.

My physical condition has improved dramatically, but my illness is minor compared to what I almost lost completely.

[MandiH]

November 19~Language Of Letting Go

Accepting Our Feelings

Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!

In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.

We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.

We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.

We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we’re in a love relationship.

We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.

Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper—an old sadness or frustration.

Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.

We don’t have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don’t have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.

It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.

Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.

[MandiH]

It’s so fun how much my HP speaks through these readings.

Work has been insane. I worked 13 hours on Friday instead of the 6 I planned to and 14 hours yesterday. I missed my daily reading posting for the first time ever.

What I’m doing isn’t working. I’m being shown how it’s impacting so many aspects of my life, my recovery and my health. I can’t stuff that down. Yet I don’t know how to change it all either, but I’m asking my hp and know the answers will arrive right on time.

I’m not sure what lies ahead but I want to stay on the right side of the beam, so I’ve been attending more meetings, being of service and asking for more guidance. Today on my travels to another meeting I’ll either join an online meeting or listen to recovery/ aa speakers.

When life gets busy, I need my recovery far more than when it’s slow. The gifts sobriety brings me can take me back out, if I let them.

[MandiH]

November 20~Daily Reflections

“THY WILL, NOT MINE”

. . . when making specific requests, it will be well to add to each one of them this qualification. “. . . if it be Thy will.”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 102

I ask simply that throughout the day God place in me the best understanding of His will that I can have for that day, and that I be given the grace by which I may carry it out. As the day goes on, I can pause when facing situations that must be met and decisions that must be made, and renew the simple request: “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

I must always keep in mind that in every situation I am responsible for the effort and God is responsible for the outcome. I can “Let Go and Let God” by humbly repeating: “Thy will, not mine, be done.” Patience and persistence in seeking His will for me will free me from the pain of selfish expectations.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

November 20~Language Of Letting Go

Wants and Needs

So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can’t have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.

Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and needs.

The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.

Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!

Listen. Trust. Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need. Write it down. Affirm it mentally. Pray about it. Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.

The results may be better than you think.

Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.

[MandiH]

November 20~Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have everything. A choice is all that is left him.—H. Mathews.

Sobriety is about choice. Each day we choose to stay sober, we teach ourselves how to make better
choices.

Life is about choice.

To be spiritual people, we must make spiritual choices. Honesty is a spiritual choice. And working the Steps is a spiritual choice.

Our life is the sum total of our choices. We owe it to ourselves to choose wisely. We can do that now,
thanks to the program.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me choose a spiritual way of life. Help me to see choice as my
way to a better relationship with you.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll be aware of the many choices I make. At the end of the day, I’ll think
about all the choices I’ve made. Am I proud of my choices?

[MandiH]

November 21~Daily Reflections

A CLASSIC PRAYER

Lord, make me a channel for thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith—that where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light—that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 99

No matter where I am in my spiritual growth, the St. Francis prayer helps me improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding. I think that one of the great advantages of my faith in God is that I do not understand Him, or Her, or It. It may be that my relationship with my Higher Power is so fruitful that I do not have to understand. All that I am certain of is that if I work the Eleventh Step regularly, as best I can, I will continue to improve my conscious contact, I will know His will for me, and I will have the power to carry it out.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

November 21~Language Of Letting Go

Financial Fears

I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: “Closed until Friday.” It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself; I had no money.

I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting for so long. I was a single parent with two children, recently divorced. I had worked so courageously at being grateful for what I had, while setting financial goals and working at believing I deserved the best.

I had put up with so much poverty, so much deprivation. Daily, I worked the Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at praying for knowledge of God’s will for me only, and the power to carry it through. I believed I was doing what I needed to do in my life. I wasn’t lollygagging. I was doing my best, working my hardest.

And there just wasn’t enough money. Life had been a struggle in many ways, but the financial struggle seemed endless.

Money isn’t everything, but it takes money to solve certain problems. I was sick of “letting go” and “letting go” and “letting go.” I was sick of “acting as if” I had enough money. I was tired of having to work so hard daily at letting go of the pain and fear about not having enough. I was tired of working so hard at being happy without having enough. Actually, most of the time I was happy. I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and my self, I wanted some money too.

While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard God speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls.

“You don’t ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will.”

Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You’ve let me down.

Again I heard His voice in my soul: “You don’t have to worry about money again. You don’t have to be afraid. I promised to meet all your needs.”

I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release, but it didn’t solve a thing—that day. There was no check in the mailbox.

But I got food for the day. And the next day. And the next. Within six months, my income doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since that day, I have had hard times, but I have never had to go without—not for more than a moment in time.

Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don’t have to, and I know I never did.

God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today, and I’ll trust You for the rest. Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You, God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success.

[MandiH]

November 21~Walk In Dry Places

Alcoholism in the workplace

Employment

Most of the personal stories in AA include troubles in the workplace. This is not surprising, because the
disease itself almost guarantees that an active alcoholic is likely to make more mistakes, have higher absenteeism, and get into trouble with bosses and/or fellow employees.

Who really wants a practicing alcoholic on the payroll? Who would want such a person as a manager or employer? Who wants to be treated by a doctor who is drunk or badly hung over.

If our alcoholism created problems in the workplace, we have no moral right to blame others who held us
accountable for this. Far from blaming others who were critical of us, we owe personal amends for any
harm we caused employers or fellow workers.

The good news is that recovery makes it possible for us to perform up to acceptable standards at work and carry out our responsibilities. In sobriety, we can write a new chapter and establish a good work history.

In my work today, I’ll keep in mind the wonderful advantages I have as a result of knowing and practicing the AA principles. As a recovering alcoholic, I can be a positive force in an organization

[MandiH]

November 21~Touchstones

For the trouble is that we are self-centered, and no effort of the self can remove the self from the centre of its own endeavor. --William Temple

This quagmire of troubles we men were caught in came, in part, from our best efforts to be self-sufficient.

The harder we worked to provide our own cures, to control others in our lives, or to control ourselves, the more we fixed our attention upon ourselves.

We could not see that the answers we were using were actually part of the problem, not the solution.

Even today we may be partially caught in the folly of this thinking. Whenever we think we see our problems and the answers clearly but don’t open our incomplete selves to the wisdom of others, we are in
danger of intensifying our self-focus.

When we have a pattern of telling our fellow members the completed stories of our pain only when our pain has passed, we are maintaining our self-centered system.

We can’t lift ourselves out of our self-centeredness. We can only turn it over to our Higher Power and allow ourselves to be released.

I am grateful for the healing, which comes when I stop being so self-centered in my efforts.

[MandiH]

November 22~Daily Reflections

ONLY TWO SINS

. . . there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 542 (Third Edition)

Happiness is such an elusive state. How often do my “prayers” for others involve “hidden” prayers for my own agenda? How often is my search for happiness a boulder in the path of growth for another, or even myself? Seeking growth through humility and acceptance brings things that appear to be anything but good, wholesome and vital. Yet in looking back, I can see that pain, struggles and setbacks have all contributed eventually to serenity through growth in the program.

I ask my Higher Power to help me not cause another’s lack of growth today—or my own.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

November 22~Language Of Letting Go

The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance

Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work.

We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances.

If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we’re beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we’ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance.

If we’ve been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance.

When all else fails, go back to the basics.

Gratitude and acceptance work.

Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances.

[MandiH]

November 22~Walk In Dry Places

Too smart to stay sober

Humility

“I’ve never seen anybody who’s too dumb to stay sober. But I’ve met a few people who were too smart.”

These wise words by an older member sum up what we sometimes see… people who feel turned off by
the program because it seems to simple and involves so many people of ordinary education and
backgrounds.

Alcoholism is much like other diseases in the way it strikes all people. Diabetes, for example, victimizes
people of all intelligence and education levels. We could never believe that being smart would give us an advantage in dealing with such an illness.

In the same way, the very smart person, has no edge over others in gaining sobriety. In fact, pride in such
gifts can be a stumbling block. It can be a barrier to the simple acceptance and surrender needed for
success in the 12 Step Program.

We do have many very smart people in AA. They are also wise enough to know that nobody can
outsmart John Barleycorn.

We can feel grateful for mental abilities and education that halp us get along in the world. Our sobriety, however, is a separate type of gift that we did not create.

[MandiH]

November 22~Keep It Simple

We are healed of a suffering only be experiencing it in full. —Marcel Proust

We must never forget our past. We need to remember the power that our illness has over us. Why? So we can remember how our recovery began. So we can remember we’re not cured. So we can tell our stories.

We must remember how we acted. Why? So we don’t act and think like addicts. Most of us had a poor relationships with friends, family, and ourselves. We need to remember how lonely we felt. That way, we’ll make recovery grow stronger One Day at a Time.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me always remember how my illness almost destroyed me. Help me face the pain of these memories.

Action for the Day: I will talk about my past life with those who support my recovery. I will tell them
what it is that I must remember about my past.

[MandiH]

November 23~Daily Reflections

“HOLD YOUR FACE TO THE LIGHT”

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 3

One Sunday in October, during my morning meditation, I glanced out the window at the ash tree in our front yard. At once I was overwhelmed by its magnificent, golden color! As I stared in awe at God’s work of art, the leaves began to fall and, within minutes, the branches were bare. Sadness came over me as I thought of the winter months ahead, but just as I was reflecting on autumn’s annual process, God’s message came through. Like the trees, stripped of their leaves in the fall, sprout new blossoms in the spring, I had had my compulsive, selfish ways removed by God in order for me to blossom into a sober, joyful member of A.A. Thank you, God, for the changing seasons and for my ever-changing life.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

November 23~Language Of Letting Go

Healthy Sexuality

Many areas of our life need healing.

One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our codependency.

Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love—for ourselves or others.

Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexually addictive behaviors—compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.

Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual codependency: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn’t want, sexually; allowing ourselves to get involved sexually because it was what the other person wanted; shutting off our sexuality along with our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as sexual beings.

Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and energy. It is a part of us that we can allow to become connected to the whole of us; it is a part of us that we can stop being ashamed of.

It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become healed. It is connected to our creativity and to our heart. We do not have to allow our sexual energy to control us or our relationships. We can establish and maintain healthy, appropriate boundaries around our sexuality. We can discover what that means in our life.

We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of sexual energy, without abusing or discounting that gift.

Today, I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality. God, help me let go of my fears and shame around my sexuality. Show me the issues I need to face concerning my sexuality. Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.