“We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85
I find this line to be so accurate personally. If my spiritual condition is in a state of unease, discontented, irritable, restless, bitchy, resentful, remorseful, etc-I am far more likely to pick up a drink. If my spiritual condition is loving, kind, happy, accepting, being of service, and being connected to my HP, I’m further away from taking that drink. I can’t rest on my laurels. I have to keep doing the work today to get that daily repreieve. And with that, I find a new freedom and a new happiness, just as promised.
And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 69
The concept of giving without strings was hard to understand when I first came into the program. I was suspicious when others wanted to help me. I thought, “What do they want in return?” But I soon learned the joy of helping another alcoholic and I understood why they were there for me in the beginning. My attitudes changed and I wanted to help others. Sometimes I became anxious, as I wanted them to know the joys of sobriety, that life can be beautiful. When my life is full of a loving God of my understanding and I give that love to my fellow alcoholic, I feel a special richness that is hard to explain.
“We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 86
Am I pausing long enough to listen for direction today—or am I rushing ahead on self-will? Those are the questions I need to ask myself today. I invited in my HP this morning, but am I slowing down long enough to listen or just rushing from one thing to the next based on what I think I should be doing on a Monday morning? I can definitely sense some rushing and my own direction in my actions already so this is a good reminder for me this morning.
Above all, take it one day at a time.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 11
Why do I kid myself that I must stay away from a drink for only one day, when I know perfectly well I must never drink again as long as I live? I am not kidding myself because one day at a time is probably the only way I can reach the long-range objective of staying sober.
If I determine that I shall never drink again as long as I live, I set myself up. How can I be sure I won’t drink when I have no idea what the future may hold?
On a day-at-a-time basis, I am confident I can stay away from a drink for one day. So I set out with confidence. At the end of the day, I have the reward of achievement. Achievement feels good and that makes me want more!
One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings…
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with having been born of sound mind and body. I went through seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health, family, money, A.A. – the whole gamut.
Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.
Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
WE . . . (The first word of the First Step)
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21
When I was drinking all I could ever think about was “I, I, I,” or “Me, Me, Me.” Such painful obsession of self, such soul sickness, such spiritual selfishness bound me to the bottle for more than half my life.
The journey to find God and to do His will one day at a time began with the first word of the First Step . . . “We.” There was power in numbers, there was strength in numbers, there was safety in numbers, and for an alcoholic like me, there was life in numbers. If I had tried to recover alone I probably would have died. With God and another alcoholic I have a divine purpose in my life . . . I have become a channel for God’s healing love.
“We had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 62
I love this! I used to want to control everything and everyone around me- thinking I knew best… but I sure didn’t!! I just made a bigger mess for everyone.
Yesterday I asked God to guide me on my day off and show me where to go. I let go of the wheel literally, when we were leaving he asked if we wanted to take his car for our longer adventure and I said sure! He just drove with no real destination in mind, and it was a wonderful & fun experience. I landed exactly where I was meant to be because I didn’t try to have it all my way and it was not only beautful but it was a wonderful experience too. When I trust in God and let go, more beauty enters my experience every single time.
When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 64
It is very difficult for me to come to terms with my spiritual illness because of my great pride, disguised by my material successes and my intellectual power. Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first. To seek prestige and wealth is the ultimate goal for many in the modern world. To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.
To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health. It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it. My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others.
We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 133
For years I believed in a punishing God and blamed Him for my misery. I have learned that I must lay down the “weapons” of self in order to pick up the “tools” of the A.A. program. I do not struggle with the program because it is a gift and I have never struggled when receiving a gift. If I sometimes keep on struggling, it is because I’m still hanging onto my old ideas and “. . . the results are nil.”
Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 29
I am very grateful that my Higher Power has given me a second chance to live a worthwhile life. Through Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been restored to sanity. The promises are being fulfilled in my life. I am grateful to be free from the slavery of alcohol. I am grateful for peace of mind and the opportunity to grow, but my gratitude should go forward rather than backward. I cannot stay sober on yesterday’s meetings or past Twelfth-Step calls; I need to put my gratitude into action today. Our co-founder said our gratitude can best be shown by carrying the message to others. Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion. I need to put it into action by working Step Twelve, by carrying the message and practicing the principles in all my affairs. I am grateful for the chance to carry the message today!
“The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 23
It is only now that I’ve changed my twisted thinking that I can see how messed up it used to be. How I justified all the the things I did, and how reverting back to that unhealthy state of mind will bring me right back out. I’m SO grateful for this program of recovery and those in it that help me to stay on the beam today. We CAN recover, but for me it took changing my mind first and then my actions.
Our spiritual and emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down,
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 184
In keeping with the pain and adversity which our founders encountered and overcame in establishing A.A., Bill W. sent us a clear message: a relapse can provide a positive experience toward abstinence and a lifetime of recovery. A relapse brings truth to what we hear repeatedly in meetings – “Don’t take that first drink!” It reinforces the belief in the progressive nature of the disease, and it drives home the need for, and beauty of, humility in our spiritual program. Simple truths come in complicated ways to me when I become ego driven.
“We stood at the turning point.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 59
Reflection:
What decision or attitude am I being invited to shift today? Am I willing to turn toward faith, honesty, or action—right now, just for today?
Every day we have a decision to make. I’m standing at a turning point and I have to decide today if I’m going to fall back into old behaviors or move into the new. I am the only one who decides by my actions which way I will go.
I woke up early today and went for a hike. I got more than my typical days steps in already by 8am. I ate a good breakfast. I’m meditating. Relaxing. And planning out my week ahead to move into better health. The urge to eat pancakes is strong, I don’t even usually eat those lol, but when I shift my focus on a healthier mindset-the old one always tries to creep in and sabatoge me. And it is a daily thing-that is why I only have a daily reprieve when I’m willing to take the action steps necessary to continue taking the steps forward on to a better path. For me, it’s not just alcohol, I have to practice these principals in ALL of my affairs. And I’m grateful I have this program of action that continues to show me the way forward in all areas of my life. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But the promises will always materialize if I work for it.
Day by day, we try to move a little toward God’s perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt. . . .
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 15
When I first discovered that there is not a single “don’t” in the Twelve Steps of A.A., I was disturbed because this discovery swung open a giant portal. Only then was I able to realize what A.A. is for me:
A.A.is not a program of “don’ts,” but of “do’s.”
A.A. is not martial law; it is freedom.
A.A. is not tears over defects, but sweat over fixing them.
A.A. is not penitence; it is salvation.
A.A. is not “Woe to me” for my sins, past and present.
A.A. is “Praise God” for the progress I am making today.
“We ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84
What am I still fighting today—internally or externally—and how might surrender bring me more peace and freedom?
Sometimes there’s more strength found in letting go over pushing harder. It’s easy for me to fight things-that is my old way. To push against things, to say you’re wrong and I’m right. I know best-do what I say. Or, like my dad said, do as I say-not as I do. Yet, look where I landed. No one wanted what I had, so they shouldn’t have ever listened to me. Having to stop that behavior and tap into my HP was a whooooole new experience. Now I listen and do far much less judging or thinking I know what’s best. There are times I want to push back and fight against things, but I know now that there is much in this life I not only can’t control, but I don’t want to. Today I am open to giving it all to my HP and practicing acceptance so I don’t drive myself crazy or feed my ego by fighting against everything today. And man am I grateful for that as it’s been one of the biggest changes of my life.
At one time or another most A.A. groups go on rule-making benders. . . After a time fear and intolerance subside. [and we realize] We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.
“A.A. TRADITION: HOW IT DEVELOPED,” pp. 10, 11, 12
A.A. offered me complete freedom and accepted me into the Fellowship for myself. Membership did not depend upon conformity, financial success or education and I am so grateful for that. I often ask myself if I extend the same equality to others or if I deny them the freedom to be different. Today I try to replace my fear and intolerance with faith, patience, love and acceptance. I can bring these strengths to my A.A. group, my home and my office. I make an effort to bring my positive attitude everywhere that I go.
I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge others. Depending on my attitude I can view newcomers to A.A., family members and friends as menaces or as teachers. When I think of some of my past judgments, it is clear how my self-righteousness caused me spiritual harm.
We are painstaking about this phase of our development.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83
Painstaking is sometimes the proper word for it! Doing this work isn’t always easy. It’s not sunshine and rainbows, but it’s more the rain that comes which brings the rainbows after. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it.
The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139
I first heard the short form of the Third Tradition in the Preamble. When I came to A.A. I could not accept myself, my alcoholism, or a Higher Power. If there had been any physical, mental, moral, or religious requirements for membership, I would be dead today. Bill W. said in his tape on the Traditions that the Third Tradition is a charter for individual freedom. The most impressive thing to me was the feeling of acceptance from members who were practicing the Third Tradition by tolerating and accepting me. I feel acceptance is love and love is God’s will for us.
“We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 87
Man don’t I need this reminder often. My HP gave me some guidance yesterday that was very powerful and yet also super confusing. I was guided to stop doing something I had been guided to do daily for the last 5 years. And take down my business website. Which, is wild to me! A ton of fear came up in this…but I still went in and shut off the renewal that happens next week and began writing out something to share about it all. But my HP never steers me wrong, I trust there is a bigger reason behind this and more will always be revealed. I’m remembering that I’m not running the show for a reason and I appreciate this reminder again today as this is a big change for me.
