When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116
All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and things. I had been a real “people addict”; wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received.
I have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to work A.A.'s Steps to keep this particular principle before my personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and emotional stability.
“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
What resentments am I still holding on to? How might letting go free me to grow in recovery?
Resentments are the most dangerous to me. They truly poison every moment of my day if I met myself hold onto them. I may think they live under the surface, but they don’t. They show up in every action and reaction I take. And, they become a slippery slope in my mindset that gets me closer to a drink. I had NO idea how poisonous this was to me before I began this program. I’m grateful for this awareness today and the tools to work through them. The quality of my life truly depends on it.
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp.111-12
My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they are just as I love and accept A.A. members—fosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting others’ personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.
“The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 93
What spiritual principle can I lean on today? How can willingness, even if small, change the way I face challenges?
Today I ask God to direct me and not my own self-will. Today will be a busy day with some potentially challenging people. I am remembering that we are not perfect, NONE of us are, but I want to be a person who loves them anyway. So today, I will do my best to take action and practice acceptance, love and tolerance-just as this program has shown me to.
I’m reading a book about people like me who do not believe in “God” as defined by the Judeo-Christian cultural tradition. But I do know that something bigger than me has influence and power in my life. Finding ways to keep in touch with that and help me be a person of mostly loving-kindness has helped me grow a lot in these past days and months and years of recovery. Thank you for reminding me.
I think for me the biggest thing i can work on is having the willingness to find acceptance in people and daily situations. This morning was trying lol i mustve said the Serentiy prayer like half a dozen times, if not more. And thankfully, it all worked out in the end. I even sometimes have to pray for the willingness to be willing lol im quite a stubborn person and change can be hard for me. So praying for the willingness to adapt, go with the flow, or change is something I try to do. But im trying
I absolutely love this! I too have struggled with the concept of “God” because my god is a loving god-not the God I knew by religious methods. As I found my way to my HP, I can interchangebly use the word God, the Universe, Spirit, the divine as to me it’s the same “source” I love that you are finding your own way that works for you!
I pray for willingness often too, and the serenity prayer is HUGE often a godsend. I can abbbnnsolutely relate! I love the list of the principals too, thank you for sharing.
It may be possible to find explanations of spiritual experiences such as ours, but I have often tried to explain my own and have succeeded only in giving the story of it. I know the feeling it gave me and the results it has brought, but I realize I may never fully understand its deeper why and how.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 313
I had a profound spiritual experience during an open A.A. meeting, which led me to blurt out, “I’m an alcoholic!” I have not had a drink since that day. I can tell you the words I heard just prior to my admission, and how those words affected me, but as to why it happened, I do not know. I believe a power greater than myself chose me to recover, yet I do not know why. I try not to worry or wonder about what I do not yet know; instead, I trust that if I continue to work the Steps, practice the A.A. principles in my life, and share my story, I will be guided lovingly toward a deep and mature spirituality in which more will be revealed to me. For the time being, it is a gift for me to trust God, work the Steps and help others.
“In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 50
Where in my life have I seen strength come when my own resources failed? How can I invite that new power into my day?
For me, this is what I call the gift of desperation. When I have found myself at a place where I didn’t know what to do, this is where I began to ask a power greater than myself for help. To my shock, it arrived. It has given me this program. A purpose. A better way of life. And as I continue to invite that higher power in, everything in my life improves. So this morning I will begin my day again connecting to that power greater than myself and do my best to do the next right thing in each moment. I’m grateful for the opportunity to do this today.
I was always known as a person who would never turn down an opportunity to use. Over 3.5 years ago (when I decided to get clean and sober), i remember the night that my husband asked if we could make a call to our dealer. Freshly clean and sober, the internal pull was sooooo strong. I remember going into the bedroom, thinking about it, and then coming back out into the living room where he was, and i said “no, i dont want to”. It was the first time i ever said no. I didnt do that. It was God. God gave me supernatural strength that night to make the right decision. I think about the night often and how God stepped in and did for me, what i couldnt do for myself
What a beautifully worded question, one we must remind ourselves to ask when we face troubles of any type.
Many, probably most of us, have not only been faced with the difficulties of our addictions, but have somehow survived various trauma that drove us to seek relief in drink and drugs. We are actually very strong and very smart people who must remember to ask ourselves your beautiful question every day and at every hard time. Deep within us is a drive to survive and thrive. When we allow ourselves to ask your question, we are remembering to access all that is available to us. This is the higher power I felt help me when I decided that I had to make a change and embrace sobriety and recovery. Indeed if I had not, the life I had struggled to build over and over again was certainly doomed to fail.
I can invite that power into my day by remembering to ask your question. To stop in the moments of chaos and crazy that surround us most days and say to ourselves, “stop, breathe, think, and ask for help”. We must care enough for ourselves to take that moment. One moment at a time.
Thank you for your beautifully expressed question.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 63
Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bonding—with those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.
“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 89
How can I be of service to another alcoholic today? When I help someone else, how does it strengthen my own sobriety?
Working with other alcoholics in recovery is the ONLY way I not only got sober, but stay sober. I can NOT do this on my own. I need my network of people who are in recovery. I need my HP. I need my sponsor. I need to continue to stay and do the work. Working with others is how I keep my sobriety today. My disease wants me isolated and alone. My recovery keeps me connected and I am grateful for this today.
Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159
Those words, for me, refer to a transference of power, through which God, as I understand Him, enters my life. Through prayer and meditation, I open channels, then I establish and improve my conscious contact with God. Through action I then receive the power I need to maintain my sobriety each day. By maintaining my spiritual condition, by giving away what has been so freely given to me, I am granted a daily reprieve.
“We cannot be too careful to avoid the rationalization that we are not yet ready, or that we are doing this for someone else’s good.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 98
Am I being fully honest about my motives today? Where might I be rationalizing?
Oooh, this is good. This reminds me that for any change to stick in my life I need to take action and not talk myself out of it. And, do it for me-not anyone else. I have to take an honest look at the actions I’m taking and my motivation for doing so, this is something my sponsor has reminded me of often. What’s your motivation? It can take a bit to get to the true root of what my motivation is and why I take the actions I do. I find this is true in my sobriety and all other areas of life too. I am grateful I have this program of recovery and others in it to continue doing the work today.
I agree… this is a good one lol I know in the problem, i was definitly a master manipulator. The motives behind my actions were very selfish based I couldnt even see it at the time… but in sobriety I am more aware. I try to think of others today and to be of service for the right reasons…bcuz i truly care about people and their wellbeing. I try not to do things for others so that I’ll get something in return. Instead today… i do things for others bcuz i want to do it for them… bcuz i care about them and dont expect anything in return
The benefits of service to others cannot be be overstated, really for all humans. It brings us out of ourselves, gives us the chance to connect with other people, expand our perspectives, and gain self esteem through real growth.
It is exhausting at times and irritating at others. In can be demanding and frightening and stressful many days. But it is also the key to our survival, both personally, and as a group, possibly even as a species!
As I start another school year, I reflect daily on how grateful I am to have had this pathway in my life. Even in my worst periods of drinking, the call to service in my teaching kept some guardrails on my addiction and most likely kept me alive. When I was a child in a very unstable and unsafe home, it was people living lives of service in teaching that showed me there is a pathway out of the hard times. I will always be grateful that I got to be a part of their lives.
I couldnt even see it at the time… but in sobriety I am more aware. I try to think of others today and to be of service for the right reasons…bcuz i truly care about people and their wellbeing. I try not to do things for others so that I’ll get something in return. Instead today… i do things for others bcuz i want to do it for them… bcuz i care about them and dont expect anything in return