Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 128-29
When I talk with a newcomer to A.A., my past looks me straight in the face. I see the pain in those hopeful eyes, I extend my hand, and then the miracle happens: I become healed. My problems vanish as I reach out to this trembling soul.
“We had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t.” — Big Book, p. 53
How do I live differently when I believe God truly is everything?
This reminds me of my sponsor telling me that this is where the rubber meets the road. Am I either going to do this thing and trust in my higher power or not? I can’t be wishy washy and get results. When I trust my HP and go for it, things always work out for the best. Today I’ll look for opportunities to do more of this.
I found that facing this proposition was not like the mic drop meme, sudden and explosive. For me, handing over all the trust was more like loosening and losing a cozy shawl, leaves still clinging to it, for something reliably Warmer.
I love that analogy! It took me quite a while to warm up to my HP too, but the more I do, the more I do trust that it’s ok to take off things to allow something new and better suited in. Thank you for that-I think I needed that message today as it hit in an entirely new way.
He [Bill W.] said to me, gently and simply, “Do you think that you are one of us?”
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 413 (Third Edition)
During my drinking life I was convinced I was an exception. I thought I was beyond petty requirements and had the right to be excused. I never realized that the dark counterbalance of my attitude was the constant feeling that I did not “belong.” At first, in A.A., I identified with others only as an alcoholic. What a wonderful awakening for me it has been to realize that, if human beings were doing the best they could, then so was I! All of the pains, confusions and joys they feel are not exceptional, but part of my life, just as much as anybody’s.
“We found that God could and would if He were sought.” — Big Book, p. 57
How am I actively seeking God in my daily life?
This is a great reminder for me today. I can’t put my own limiting beliefs and worries or fears on God. God is infinite, and has unlimited resources.
I’ve had 2 very prominent people at my work, both working until they had zero quality of life in their health recently. One actually battled cancer and stayed even after she was placed on hospice. She “retired” and died within a week. Another in just 10 years older than me that had a stroke a few weeks ago and today her daughter told me that they have now discovered she has brain cancer. We had just talked about her retiring in June and she was seriously thinking about it.
My heart has been telling me for a long time that this job isn’t what I’m supposed to do with my life forever. But it’s comfortable. Cozy. Familiar. Secure. I have a hard time seeing how God can move me into my spiritual calling more and have it be enough to get by with it. I’ve been dabbling in it for years, and I’ve backed way off this summer while working on improving my health as working full time and running my own business is a lot. I’m still working through my health stuff in the moment, but I do wonder how much my desk job contributes to my health issues. I think I may take back the wheel there.
So, I’m trusting in God and opening up to other possibilities if that’s what is best for me. I don’t want to look back on my life and know I didn’t do what was being asked of me because I’m afraid. So, I’m connecting, giving it up to my infinite god and asking to be shown the way to what he wants for me in terms of work. I want to do what is asked of me, not what “I” think is “safe”. I invite god into all other areas of life, but my soul says it’s time to do more. So last night I watched a sunset by the lake and put it all out there for my HP to guide me in what they want for me.
Right now, I am trying to see each person as a beloved child of God. I have always had an easy time finding God in the natural world, with plants and animals as elements of a Spirited creation. Harder with people, including myself, with our free will, enormous power over stewardship, and often capricious decisions. I’m gratefully learning to live with more peace and ease no matter who I am among. Like God and AA, I’m trying to learn to reach by attraction rather than promotion, bc like I heard in the rooms: You can’t make a flower grow by pulling on it. Causes and conditions, most of which I am powerless over, but I can have the courage to change the things I can.
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33
Today I am an alcoholic. Tomorrow will be no different. My alcoholism lives within me now and forever. I must never forget what I am. Alcohol will surely kill me if I fail to recognize and acknowledge my disease on a daily basis. I am not playing a game in which a loss is a temporary setback. I am dealing with my disease, for which there is no cure, only daily acceptance and vigilance.
“Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others.” — Big Book, p. 124
How might my past struggles help someone else find hope?
Oh man. It’s so incredible how these things pop up at the exact right moment! My bff and I were discussing just today about sharing our journey. It can be hard to navigate what’s a secret and what’s a boundary. I was saying how in AA we have sponsors for a reason as our secrets keep us sick and we don’t share everything with everyone normally. But we do get to share our experience, strength and hope. That’s how we get through things together in the best possible way. My dark past has been my greatest gift. It was the gift of desperation and from that darkness I’ve found a light. I am grateful I get to share that light with others today and I am grateful for the confirmation on that.
Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job – wife or no wife – we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98
Before coming to A.A., I always had excuses for taking a drink: “She said . . . ,” “He said . . . ,” “I got fired yesterday,” “I got a great job today.” No area of my life could be good if I drank again. In sobriety my life gets better each day. I must always remember not to drink, to trust God, and to stay active in A.A. Am I putting anything before my sobriety, God, and A.A. today?
“We had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.” — Big Book, p. 52
Where in my life am I still relying too much on my own ideas instead of God’s?
This is a great question, and one I’ve been asking this week. Where am I taking back the wheel instead of doing what’s being asked of me? More will always be revealed, and I will pray on this today and ask to have thy will be done instead of my own.
This is truly something I have to work on daily. I even have to ask throughout my day, multiple times a day, to turn over control to God. If I dont turn over this control to Him, things dont work out very well. I struggle. But as soon i turn over my will, my thinking and acting to God, things just seem to work out better for not just me, but for everuone I come into contact with
First things first. Sobriety has to come first for me. I check in daily with my day count for all substances not just bc joining here and doing so was assigned by my sponsor, but now also bc I see how it works. This place has a lot more churn – chronic relapsers and newcomers – than my AA meetings, where sponsored ppl work the steps consistently. I have to put my sobriety above my feelings. I know that how I feel isn’t permanent, and if I dwell in them, whether good or bad, I risk my sobriety not being permanent. So, ppl who say: This time is different! give me pause, and I pray for them. I know from experience, one day it won’t feel different, and then I have to rely on my HP, my program, and my fellowship.
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. . . . In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it. . . . From that point on, progress will be rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 134
While on the road to recovery I received a gift that could not be purchased. It was a card from my son in college, saying, “Dad, you can’t imagine how glad I am that everything is okay. Happy Birthday, I love you.” My son had told me that he loved me before. It had been during the previous Christmas holidays, when he had said to me, while crying, “Dad, I love you! Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?” I couldn’t. Choked with emotion, I had cried, but this time, when I received my son’s card, my tears were tears of joy, not desperation.
“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.” — Big Book, p. 66
What resentment am I holding onto today, and what is it costing me?
Once I started to clean out the ick and saw alllllllll the resentments I had and how they kept me sick, I finally for the first time in my life began feeling peaceful, happy and free. In feeling that difference, I can now recognize how crappy it feels when one pops up. I call my sponsor pretty quickly about them because not only are they dangerous for me to play with, they don’t feel good. I’m grateful for this program of action and the ability to release these today.
When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, . . .
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
While practicing service to others, if my successes give rise to grandiosity, I must reflect on what brought me to this point. What has been given joyfully, with love, must be passed on without reservation and without expectation. For as I grow, I find that no matter how much I give with love, I receive much more in spirit.
“To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.” — Big Book, p. 44
What helps me choose the spiritual life one day at a time?
That was correct for me. It was not easy to face the fact I was a dry drunk on my own. When I finally had the gift of desperation, I asked whoever was out there listening to show me the way as I finally realized I was the only common denominator to my problems. And I had NO idea how to fix that. So I became desperate enough to ask for spiritual help. The next morning, it arrived and I began working this program.
As time went along and I was taking some of the suggested actions, I saw how well it worked. And now my HP & this spiritual program is what helps me the most to stay sober. I know without a doubt I would have been drinking again without it. And that helps remind me to stay connected because I could easily have that old life back. It only works while I work it. The gifts I have been given in sobriety can take me out if I don’t keep my recovery and HP first in my life, so I will continue to do that today.
I have a vision board thats on the wall across from the bed where I put something my son gave me. For Mothers day last year, my son wrote on a piece of paper, “Youre the best mom! I love you!”… and i put it on that vision board as a reminder of what recovery gave to me. Recovery gave me a relationship with my son. I am forever grateful for what God has done for me.
I try to practice this daily. In fact, I pray every morning that I be of service to others for the day.
I remember one morning, a woman approached me and asked if i could buy her a coffee. I had extra $ on me so i did. She grabbed the coffee and walked away without even looking back to me or saying thank u or nothing. I love helping people, I really do. But what i do have to watch for, is that i dont have expectations attached to that help. I guess i was expecting a thank u or some form of gratitude back. But in that moment, it wasnt about me. It was about helping her and giving her a warm cup of coffee. I helped where I could
This phrase also reminds me of the saying, “Faith without works is dead”. I can lead a spiritual life and pray daily, but I also must take action in life. Performing Gods will and not my own. This is also why I like to pray first thing in the morning, bcuz my day has just begun and i can invite God into my day from the very start. Its amazing how my mind changes focus after prayer. It works if u work it!
