The second part really speaks to me today after everything that has happened and the very difficult choice I had to make to go my separate ways. It’s been something I’ve been holding onto hoping things would get better but they never did. So here I am now staying in a hotel across from my job so I can still make it to work since I don’t have a license yet since I was arrested for drinking and driving over a year and a half ago.
I walked 7 miles to the hotel after saying I needed time away to figure out what I was going to do. It is clear to me that leaving is my best option and that’s what I’m going to do. I will stay here for a week or so until I find a place to stay and all I can do is hope that the cards get dealt in my favor.
Normally I would have just sat down and drank to “fix” the issue but somehow I managed to do everything right and follow my gut on what to do. Now that I think of it I’m 435 days sober and let me tell you that today was a very hard test that I was surprised with. I have faith that every one who wants to be clean and sober will make the right choices. I’m not much of a religious person so I place my higher power as anything greater than myself. I tend to not reach out and just bottle everything up but I know that’s something I need to work on.
Stay strong everyone and rememeber that we are all here to help! You’re not alone!
This one really spoke to me as well. I went over it when I met with my sponsor yesterday and we both agreed how much easier our lives have been once we aligned our will wirh God’s. It takes so much pressure off of us and life just seems to flow so much smoother. And all we have to do is ask and remain willing. What a freakin relief! I need this every day! Thanks for sharing.
That’s two days this book has wowed me. I need to get me a copy lol. My tote I bought for AA is already loaded but what’s one more?! Thanks for the post Josh!
I’ve been trying to work more within my religious side but just have a hard time with it. I was never raised going to church and what not, I was never baptised so I just have a hard time with this. I hope that one day I’m able to get a grasp on it and can find what everyone else experiences within it.
I’ve been thinking about posting it every day and those that wish to relate to it or give their input are more than welcome to. Have you read today’s Rosey?
Right?! This book seems to somehow relate to what I’m going through each and every day. I make it a point to at least read it in the morning and once again at night just to reflect on it. It’s a great book and if you can get it I would!
You know what’s so amazing to me? You don’t even have to grasp it or even really believe it all for it to work! The principals are just solid and as long as you’re giving things over to any power greater than yourself it works! I was raised in church and believe me, you definitely have the upper hand. I have had to completely unlearn who I thought this “God” was and relearn who he is to me and who he really is. I’m finding out that He’s way better than I could possibly have imagined.
And no I have not read today’s yet, but take a wild guess at what I’m gonna go do now? Lol
My higher power has changed a few times but I think that’s because I didn’t have a full understanding on what was TRULY greater than myself. I of course have some mental health illnesses that have come into play and I’m still accepting them and trying to learn more so I can fully understand what it is I have and how to cope with it. I’ve shared my story before as well but have yet to do it here. I’ve also come to realize that I have another addiction that I’ve never even thought twice about and that’s porn/masturbating so there’s another thing I need to figure out. Lol seems the list gets longer rather than shorter these days!
@Josh - maybe start a daily reflections thread? and every day add the new one for discussion? this way we can all look back and reflect and what not in one general thread? might be pretty cool.
i’d love to comment more and talk with yall about it but i gotta run to work!
todays has a bit about asking our higher power to restart our day - “100 times if necessary” man do i feel that some days!
Here is today’s, I’ll be making a thread just for this from now on but I’m currently leaving for work now haha so it’ll be about 14 hours from now when I can get to it.
It always makes me wonder if my life must be planned out according to this book because each day I read it, it is something I can relate to.
For me I can relate to both being as what I’m going through right now. Patience to make the right choice, kindness when I’m still upset, fear plays a role being as I’m sure one reason I’m holding on is because I fear the unknown. A lot of people do, they stay in something because they know what they are in, they know what to expect, they are comfortable even if it sucks. I’ve been there myself.
All I can do is ask my higher power to help make the right choice, give me clarity in a clouded mind and the strength to remain sober and accept what is to come.
Honestly man, I just got on my knees and closed my eyes and started talking. I didn’t know how to pray. No one ever taught me that. So I was just talking to I didn’t know what. I let it all out. All the shit that was in my mind. I didn’t watch my language (I still don’t )
Crazy thing was I felt relief when I was done. So I did it again the next day. And again. Still not knowing exactly what I was doing. But it was working. I prayed a lot While I was driving. That helped too
The term “fake it till you make it” comes to mind cuz that’s what I did. It didn’t matter to me who or what was listening to me, just that they listened. My faith came later. But back then I slowly began to grasp the concept of MY higher power. That it was mine and it worked great for ME. I could give two shits what any church or group thought about me and my higher power. They could never understand the relationship I was forging with my higher power. And I didn’t try to understand theirs.
That’s great man! I would have to say I did and still do the same as you. I just talk whether it’s outloud or in my head and just let it out. I don’t have friends here since I moved and haven’t been able to meet people. So for me that’s my only way to get stuff off my chest. Plus I’m utilizing this forum more now which also helps. I’m glad you were able to find a higher power that works for you and helps man. Its a great feeling!
I laughed when I read this. I mean I was tickled. I read the last two posts n then I started from the top. @Gabe.G you kill me lol. A lot of times we say,or rather I’ve heard it said,that when you pray you’re supposed to talk to God like you talk to a friend. So as I read your post Gabe,I just smiled,cuz you did just that:spoke to God like a friend (although I can’t say I’ve cursed while talking to Him,I understand the realness).
@Josh you’re not the first to realize that in addition to your main addiction, you’re also addicted to porn/masturbation. I won’t call any names but there are some of us struggling with multiple things. If you’d like though I could tag you in some forums that could be helpful,cuz that’s up my alley.
@Rosey loved what you said about getting to know God for yourself and especially the part about realizing He’s more amazing than you realized growing up. I’ve often found myself being jealous of people who didn’t grow up in church. I say that because some of the experiences I’ve heard of how powerful He is and how He changed them is so awesome to me,and I want an awesome story too lol. But real talk. He’s working on me,and my experience can help someone else. And you don’t have to worry about church (don’t get me wrong,I love my church family). Start off just talking to Him @Josh or anyone else,and as you get to know Him better He’ll lead you to where He wants you to be. The interesting thing about the book you’re reading is that although it’s not the Bible, it’s mimicking many biblical themes/thoughts from what I’ve noticed so far;that tickled me to because our world is full of so many people bashing the Bible,yet many books teach biblical messages that help us live better lives.
)