How does everyone else approach Dating? Do you only date people who are former addicts? Or maybe people that don’t drink? I couldn’t live with someone that has alcohol in the house.
i havnt been looking for anyone honestly. Just trying to focus on my sobriety and get the time under my belt before i decide if i can be with someone who drinks or not…
Million dlollar question. Making the best version of me is my number one priority, presently. I need to understand and love myself before, I try and understand and love someone else.
Everyone knows how difficult relationships can be, even when their established.
Recovery takes a lot of commitment and dedication. I don’t think it would be fair to put a potential partner in that situation.
The first relationship after I quit was an AA member. The reality was that it should have stayed “dating”. I wasn’t ready and she very much wasn’t. It helped me stay focused during the months where I’d always said “Ok I quit for three months, I am good, I can control it.” I am thankful for that, but otherwise it was a dumpster fire.
I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t have that answer. My wife is married to someone who had a drinking problem, so I’d be a hypocrite to say No to giving someone a chance.
I will.say two addicts together.is a bad, bad combo (as per a convo today w one of my protégés)
Like everything else in this adventure, there isn’t an easy answer. I think we destroyed our right ro easy answers.
All great advice. I don’t plan on it anytime soon, but when it does come up, I want to have a plan on who I should and should not date.
For me my sponsor was instrumental since I didn’t know how to speak to the opposite sex sober even though I was doing service work and talking to the opposite sex on a daily basis when he came to romance, I didn’t know anything about it so my sponsor told me to say hello that’s it I asked yes he said. The next thing you told me was not to ask about what kind of job they had it all cuz he told me am I looking for a relationship or a one night stand because all this time he was teaching me how to have relationship with myself first so if I did get into a relationship I would have a relationship that could be shared. Then when we started dating he asked me to ask my future wife for her sponsors phone number when I asked why he said just to make sure you’re not screwing up her recovery she he was still caring for somebody else and learn to appreciate that. Then when we were together he insisted that every morning and every evening we pray together communicate with one another and never go to bed angry who’s the best marriage my life God bless and I hope this helps
Hi @Skuhl1986 that is such a good question, never though about it. I’m married over 25 years, so dating is out of the question But if I was just starting to date, I think I would look for a non-drinker at this point to simplify things. Doesn’t have to be a former addict, but just someone who doesn’t drink. Then again Donald Trump never had a drink in his life…hmm… (oops sorry! I’m not opening that can of worms )
That is a really good question. I wouldn’t be bothered by dating someone who has a glass of wine occasionally in a restaurant or at a party. But I can’t have it at home. It is the same thing I’ve had to tell house guests.
Donal trump never had a drink?? … Interesting, maybe its because his brother died of alcohol related problems? Interesting divide in the family…
Oh yeah I checked - that seems to be why. Because of his brother.