Ive been drinking 1 bottle of wine every night for a while. There are 2 bulging bags of wine bottles in my room.
I hurt my back at work and i am terrified. My room is a depression pit. My roommates are tense but civil. I keep the kitchen clean. My cat is eating good but hates my depression room.
This is gross. This is a gross way to exist.
Nice to see you Minatasha. Maybe not under these circumstances but still. You’re reaching out.
You don’t have to live like this.
You know what you got to do.
And I’ve seen you do it.
You can do it again. And you are always welcome to work on your sobriety here.
Hi and thanks for sharing your story.
It’s a bad place to be, I was in that exact position three years ago… A bottle of wine a night. Sitting in bed, locked into depression unable to motivate or move it change.
My friend I am three years sober and you can do it too.
I wanted to share some of the things that helped me the most, it took work to get out of the trap, but I can’t tell you how much my life has changed and how much I love it now.
One of the best resources for me was a book called “The Unexpected Joy of being Sober” I recommend buying this today. Read it.
Surround yourself with videos, interviews, books and information about sobriety. You can’t just quit without help and information.
Find something to do with your hands, like try to learn knitting, or crochet, or get one of those stick on jewels things, or anything!!!
When you get a craving, that voice in your head: shut.it.down!! Instantly! Do NOT reason with it, do not talk to it, do not give it air-time in your head. This is the addictive voice.
Every time you shut down the addictive voice it will get slightly weaker and weaker. You are going to have to shut it down lots and lots at first. Until it becomes weak. Be prepared for this.
My sweet cousin liked the wine she was a school teacher and my fav cousin when she passed away with Ketoacidosis we found 134 empty wine bottles in her room ,i tried to help take her to meetings but she didnt want to go she was 66 years of age , wish you well
Hey 
@Minatasha time to get rid of the wine and start working on yourself have you thought about doing a meeting in person or online preferably inpreson as it’s better for you confidence and you’ll meet like minded people from you area who will understand
Welcome. This is a good place to vent. We’re hear to listen. And there’s great advice too. Day 0 is hard but you can do it. We’ll stay sober today together.
For me it was also wine. At the end I could drink 1-2 Bottles like water. I was actively killing myself.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Did things that ashamed me when drunk.
You can do it, and you should do it. The first days weren’t motivation filled and weren’t a „I will stop forever“ - it was a one day at a time. And today it’s 84 days. The longest I have bin sober in 10 Years.
I still today have struggely days but I know that I have this community and people that see my posts and may be getting inspired.
Thanks for this message. Still havent drank since posting this. Im trying to forget alcohol exists and just eat instead for now.
Good to read. Hope to see you participating on the forum when you’re ready.
Thank you for this message. Congrats on 84+ days. I havent drank since i posted this initial thing. Coffee and food help. But im still ignoring big problems.
The problems don’t go away when we are sober, been there, done that. Sending hugs and kind vibes 
What helped me was breaking the problems and issues down in small, even tiny portions and tasks, so I could tackle them without getting immediately overwhelmed. Every babystep counts, they add up. Keep going ODAAT 
134 wine bottles, wow. Im sure it was awful to clear out. Thank you for sharing. Im sorry that happened.
I still havent gotten more wine since making this post.
Good to read.
Pulling for ya Minatasha
Still havent got more wine. Im not fixated on it either. I think right now was the first flash of “i should go drive and get some wine” thought i had this evening. I banned myself from the convenience store i was walking to. But i let myself drive to get the 4 or 5 dollar wine. Its too much money over time!! But such a small expense each day.
Stay sober, no wine. Nobody ever regretted waking up sober, clearheaded and without a hangover. Kind vibes to you
Yesterday my sister gave me a “pep talk” to do what i need to do to go on medical leave. Im mad about having to go on it…its been since mid march ive had this hurt back!!
Like its terrible. And its healing just enough im tempted to push what i can do.
Anyway one of the points she made was how proud she was i stayed sober. That first time was 2 years ago.
Ive stayed off of weed that whole time, and that was a big one. But i really just didnt tell anyone, just relapsed after a year and a couple months and drank every night for another year basically. Theres no way i could tell them i just did almost a month of daily bottle of wine. They would be disturbed…even more by the ability to hide it than the volume of booze.
So i spent a week after i posted back to the wine every day, and then i intervened on myself again and havent had a drink since last thursday.
The back injury sucks but ive turned a corner with it esp wrt my job.
Have to change my diet and eat more vegetables and less sugar and grains. For lunch today i roasted broccoli, carrots, and tempeh, and put them over this sunflower seed hummus i made, with hot sauce. Actually delicious.