Im new here. Ive been using this app for the counter and decided to look further this morning after waking up anxiety riddled again. I hate this feeling. I was doing so good. I had 21 days. And then i had 2 days… and here i am again with just a couple hours. Im so disappointed in myself. I got my feelings hurt last night and used that as my excuse. I hate this addiction. I hate that i cant drink like normal people. I hate that my kids know i drank last night. This anxiety over the guilt and shame i feel is terrible. I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. Im going to try again. I want it. I need it. I feel so much better when i dont. I just dont want to deal with my crap i guess. Anyway, im here. Today is day one. And at least theres that!
Welcome Kristen! Glad u founsd this forum. Its been a huge help to me to get clean. Hope u find this forum just as beneficial 
Thank you! I hope so too!
Welcome back! Do not beat yourself up! I know that what is helping me this time is getting a sponsor and honestly working the steps!
Congrats on you 2 days! Sti
They say , you stick around six and months and you don’t like it, we can refund your misery! I know I Do not want the misery back Can I am giving me covering my right now? Only a little over 2 months. I am still treating it like a full-time job. I am constantly working on myself, Read the n a big book comma it works how and why i’m at work with my sponsor.! I did on the site 2 or 3 times a day. So I don’t know what to work on. I use their topics and use them to help me! The site helps me to find a balance. You know, there is also a journaling page on here. It’s like a little calendar that really helps. They give you the topic to journal! It works if you work at is the experience i’m having! You are worthy cover you put your all in!
Welcome, Kristen! I can relate to that sense of failure and frustration. Not that long ago I was repeating day ones over and over again, until I realized I needed more tools to keep me on the sober path. Take a look at the tools you have and see if you need to add more. For me, TS made a huge difference, just coming here often, posting daily on a couple threads for support and accountability , really helped. So hang in there, keep working on it… 
You have stated all the feels I am feeling today, also! It is hard to face the day, and a hiding hole would be lovely. I know I can’t and won’t, but the struggle is real! You are not alone! We CAN do hard things! Hugs 
Welcome! Congratulations!
Owww I know the feeling 
My advice right now? Take a piece of paper and write down how you feel. So all the guilt, the shame, the nausea, the headache, the anxiety, etc. Put it on a place you can read it every day like the door of your fridge ore your bathroom.
Within a few days your little voice is telling you: why can’t I drink one drink? I do good, I can have one to chill a bit (ore whatever).
Then you read why you cannot.
It’s powerfull, at least it was for me 
I also made a list with all the good things about being sober in the beginning of my sobriaty.
That was a good read as well if I craved a drink.
Welcome here by the way, glad you found us!
This app and the people in it helped me a lot to sober up. You only need determination and an open mind to try the things you read here on this forum.
Keep the things that work for you and trow away the rest.
And again a relapse sucks (I had some too), but you can make this one your last.
Im on day one to off methamphetamines, withdrawal hasnt hit me yet and im so afraid, ive been through it before and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enamy
I had tried many times before and had some success, like you, only to go back.
Had used different counters etc but never a community approach like this (online or in person).
This community on here has helped me get to 50ish days this time around. I started this time of sobriety more determined than I have in a long time, but this community has also played a major part.
Check in everyday, read as many posts as you can. Ask for help and advice if you need.
We’re all in this together and finding our way through
Welcome!! I also wanted to make a change in my approach to alcohol - and this forum has been so wonderful and supportive; I check it every day and remind myself about why I made my choice to change, and it helps reaffirm this choice throughout the day. Some of the best things I’ve learned here: you only have to say no to that first drink (and it gets easier after!!), and it’s just one day at a time
And I have to add - I felt all the shame and embarrassment when I first began, because I was processing just how much destruction and pain I had caused. It gets better as you get better!!
What you’re showing your children is that even when things seem insurmountable, your worth getting back up on your feet and doing what many people aren’t able to do. Give themselves a chance.
I can tell you that shame and guilt for me held me back and held me down for a very long time, and even after fairly decent amounts of time sober, it still reared it’s ugly head in an attempt to suck me back in.
Your inner values are screaming at you to give your authentic self a real chance. Tell those negative thoughts and habits to shut the f up and step aside because you’re building new habits and changing the way you think, act, and behave.
You can do this. Get all the help you can. Supports. Resources. Knowledge. Meetings. Everything you can take on, but without overwhelming yourself. Only take on what you’re capable of, nothing more, nothing less. This is where accountability is learned.
Maybe try ameeting might help ,helped me stay sober wish you well
Meetings help a lot…especially gender specific ones…and base your decision on 3-4 meetings minimum…face to face for me is far more impactful…zoom is better than nothing but be respectful and keep your video on as new comer…
And you should beat urself up…I do it every day lol…20something days, 2 days and a few hours isnt bragging rights…my longest sober period in 8 years was 8 days and I almost died…
I went 14 days, 26, 103, 47 now I’m day 7…it’s shameful and embarrassing but I put my own walls up…you do it to yourself pretty much…more people love and care about you more thank you think…
Maybe you aren’t an alcoholic…maybe you’re a heavy irresponsible social drinker???
Just please done let your dirt mind play tricks on you…keep in mind those kids…but a real alcohol doesn’t stop even for their family
I’m learning how to detach without isolating.
Nothing worse than raising your hand within the first 30 days again…some will make sly comments , some will even say some sneaky comments…but for the most part in my experience, its head nods, handshakes, hugs and text messages from the least suspecting members in the community…
And under no circumstances be concerned with a spouse or family member who criticizes…never in a million years can they relate to us…
Get up, wipe yourself off, be nice to yourself and give yourself some grace…you care enough sign up for this place and put your feelings out to strangers so that’s more than you did last year…I don’t know you and this is my first post but I’m proud of you and you haven’t proven anything to anyone yet who doesn’t understand the way we think and act
And just cuz you started over, you didn’t start over with zero…anybody can get 30 days…try getting 100