So apparently I need this…tried killing myself over the weekend after alcohol mixed horribly with antidepressants…scared cause this will be a new life
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Well, there’s only one way to go from here and that’s up congratulations on making the decision to quit
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Welcome Adam 
Scared, of course - many of us were - but also, it sounds like it can’t be any worse than what you had before, so…
Scared, but also determined not to go back. Because it’s got to be better than what you had before.
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Intentionally or accidentally?
The unknown is often frightening. Our mind conjures up all the worst imaginable scenarios to torment us with. But the truth is that the unknown is also where our dreams live. It is where all the possibilities exist outside of our vision and it’s only by stepping into that space and taking the risk that we chance receiving the reward we desire.
So welcome to the forum and I hope this place serves as a good tool for you in your new journey.
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My path started in a similar fashion. I was scared too. I came here every day and spent as much time as I could on the wonderful site.
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Keep your head up your on the right track…
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Accidental. Just had a couple of beers and shot. But my new meds ignited suicidal ideation and lot of depression and anger…
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ϖεʆɕσʍε ϯσ thє αpp ѕhαll, αnd dσn’t чσu wαnt α nєw lífє? dσn’t вє αfrαíd. вє єхcítєd 
That makes sense to me. I’ve had suicidal ideation from certain medications as well–and ones that I didn’t expect. Glad you’re with us.