Day 1: dealing with shame and anxiety

Hi All,

Can’t seem to quiet my mind and not sure where to get help (I’m in Nairobi, Kenya) any leads for the same would be appreciated.


It’s normal to feel shame and anxiety. I’m still struggling with some of that myself because I’m very early into my own recovery. All I can tell you is that it gets better each day and please be kind to yourself.


Hello Vanessa,

It might help to know a bit more to help you. What is troubling you?


Thank you @Englishd,

Will check out my local AA

Hi @Nanook,

I’ve been struggling with alcohol for most of my teens and into my adult life. I thought I’d finally gotten it under control until this Saturday when i went on a binge. I also don’t remember too much of my night so that is also causing me anxiety. This platform has helped me before, I’m just very disappointed in myself for going back to the old me

Blacking out is always troubling, and not recalling what you could have said or did is a cause for anxiety for sure. You’re only human though, and we all make mistakes in our lives. The important aspect is learning from your mistakes, and trying your hardest to never repeat them again. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and approach each day as a stepping stone for distancing yourself from your past demons and towards forgiving yourself! I know you can do it :slight_smile:


Hi @Vanessa1 and welcome! :heart:
Glad you found us!

Take a piece of paper and write down how you feel right now. You feel shame and anxiety and maybe having a hangover too? Write down every detail. Put that letter into your wallet.
When you have the urge to drink and your mind is starting to romantizice the drinking you read that letter. It helps.
I made myself a sober plan and that really helps me to stay sober. Today is my 266 day. I share my plan with you, maybe it helps you too.

  • No alcohol in my house
  • Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
  • Telling my spouse about my sober plan
  • Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
  • Having a day counter
  • Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
  • Taking a strong vitamine B complex
  • Taking melatonin to help me sleep
  • Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
  • Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
  • When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
  • Ask for help when I need it.
  • Be here every day to read and check in sober.

Stick around! It helps to be here often!
This can be your last day 1 ever! How about that! :facepunch:


Thank you @Buts @Darrow And @Bryn,

Your words of encouragement and tips are helping. Thank you for being a blessing, I look forward to being the same for someone else once I’m on the mend.:heart:


I am breaking apart mentally and emotionally , is there some sort of meditation or bible verse anyone can recommend? I’ve also pushed away close friends and bf because I’m ashamed of my last bender so I can’t reach out to them

Grant me:

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And, the wisdom to know the difference…


God, please help me

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I do this meditation often

And checking out AA is a great idea - it is positive action, which always makes me feel better.


My absolute favorite 5 minute meditation…even if I cannot close my eyes and follow along just listening to this has helped me tremendously in my recovery.


Hey Vanessa!

Reminds me of how I feel on my day ones. I also was prone to benders.

Please listen to me. A great deal of that shame and anxiety is just your brain playing a trick on you! It’s a scientific fact that alcohol withdrawls create those things. So, a good degree of your plight is just due to chemical science.

The good news is that in time (as little as tomorrow) you should see a huge decrease in those symptoms. With each passing day they will grow quieter and quieter. Hang in there!


Thank you all,

The journey this time has been a battle. I can’t thank you all enough :heart:

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